Heart A La Mode
by tenkage onna
Summary: "The stone seats you made were rough, uncomfortable and cold...But, before I knew it, they were comfy and warm...This place will turn that way too" Gauche/Lag fic compilation.
1. C1 Warmth

Pretty straight forward, canon based drabbles! Be forewarned, this takes place after the cabernet, so its covered in spoilers.

A general warning, I probably spelled a ton of names wrong. If you spot something I spelled wrong, just let me know!

Inspiration: the entire damn comic. And music. And the second opening theme.

Warning: spoilers, ooc, "shota", maybe more, we'll see!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Onward!

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"warmth"

I'm definitely not in love, Lag thought, keeping his gaze firmly on the neatly paved streets. Next to him, his portly little pug trotted lazily. Around him were familiar faces that greeted the little ten year old, a few people waving.

Lag had woken up in a state of disarray, in a pile of sheets on the floor and red faced that morning. Sabrina had poked her head into the room, concerned, but he'd brushed off her questions with frantic stammering.

He was most definitely not, absolutely not, in love. He firmly shook his head, quickening his pace home. The groceries in his arms were getting heavy and his Dingo in training was of no help as he wandered away frequently. Lag was ready to just lay in bed and smother himself. But the bed was where he absolutely didn't want to go right then either.

Sighing, he held the bag closer to himself. Lag was not equipped for these sort of worries. He was busy studying for his upcoming tests in school as well as to submit his papers to the Bee Hive. What time there was, was for sleeping and his aunt. Definitely not adult issues, like love.

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"Auntie, I'm back..." Lag called, kicking his shoes off as he stepped into the house.

His Dingo-to-be, of course, proceeded to chew them. Squawking, the boy attempted to shoo him away, to which the dog simply ignored him and ran away with a shoe. Lag quickly gave chase, forgetting the groceries in his arms.

From the kitchen, his aunt peered out at the scene, a laugh threatening to escape her. The dog, almost expertly, attempted to run the boy into a wall. Lag, used to the tricks, managed to avoid the traps. It was routine, Sabrina mused.

Sometimes she thought that mangy dog's only saving grace was that he forced the boy to leave his room and exercise a bit more. He'd been cooped up in his room so much these days. When finally the boy retrieved his shoe, he looked like he might faint.

Huffing, Lag entered the kitchen and set the bag down on the table. "I cant stand when he does that..." he whined.

Ruffling his hair, Sabrina began to unload the densely packed grocery bag. "He doesn't listen very well."

"H-He's just new..." Lag defended, sitting down miserably.

You're just too easy to ignore, Sabrina thought. "Well, you have a few more years to train him. Don't worry."

Lag smiled faintly. "Yeah..."

Glancing at the boy, the woman frowned. He looked tired, definitely out of it. "Are you feeling alright?"

Startled, and oddly panicked, the boy stammered. "W-What? Oh, of course! I'm just fine!"

Raising her eyebrow, Sabrina set aside the cabbage she was holding. "Whats the matter?"

Lag smiled blankly, as if he'd been caught doing something inappropriate. "W-What do you mean?"

Sabrina shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "You cant hide things from me, Lag."

It seemed to do the trick. A look of dismay crossed his face before he hung his head. "I-I'm sorry auntie..."

Panic bloomed in the woman's chest as she frowned, sitting across the table from him. "What happened?"

Lag kept his gaze down, gulping. "N-Nothing...I just..."

"Just?"

He fumbled for the right words, playing with his sleeve. "H-Have you ever loved someone?"

Taken aback, the woman gaped briefly. Collecting herself, Sabrina nodded. "Of course."

Lag peered up through his bangs, face beet red. "H-How did you know you did...?"

Suddenly it hit the woman. Her little boy was experiencing his first crush. Relief washed over her as she let out a breath, leaning back into the chair. "I was worried this was something awful..."

The boy blinked owlishly. "W-What...?"

Laughing a bit, the woman reached over, ruffling his wild hair. Lag whined a bit, pouting as his aunt smiled reassuringly. "Its perfectly normal. You don't need to be so worried."

At a loss for words, Lag chewed his lip and held back a sniffle. He nodded dumbly and his aunt continued to put away groceries, asking him, "So whose the lucky girl?"

Lag felt his stomach sink, smilingly weakly. "U-Um...no one in particular."

He couldn't tell her. He absolutely couldn't tell her that the person he loved was the same person she'd thrown out of the house three years prior.

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	2. B1 Haunted

Hello! This is the first chapter of a 12 chapter au, which is unnamed. I had wanted to do so many aus but I didnt think they were complete enough to standalone. So here we go. There will be three aus, one canon, that go in turns.

Supplementary information for this one, which i'll call the "bug" au time!

The world is virtually the same, except for the plot. No reverse, gauche isnt going to the capital and theres a major plot thing, but thats for later.

Inspiration: reading about bugs! Pretty plain eh?

Warnings: possible ooc, au, gore, violence, possible spoilers, "shota" in later chapters.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing!

Well, lets hope this first chapter isnt so bad then.

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"haunted"

It didn't take a genius to know that something inhuman was in this village. Gauche swallowed, ready to grab his gun. Next to him, Roda shuffled anxiously from paw to paw. It was a simple delivery, no need to be afraid.

Outside of the twilight skies of Yusari, Yodaka was dark as pitch. These days, people were especially jumpy. Gauche couldn't say he blamed them. As he walked through the empty looking town, he wondered if perhaps there was an attack here recently. They were becoming more and more frequent.

Heading up the hill, the young man eyed the paper in his hand. He was to deliver a young boy it seemed, to the southern most edge of the continent. It shouldn't take but a week at most, he reasoned as he searched for the address printed neatly on his form.

However, despite his best efforts, Gauche found that the house in question didn't seem to exist. Frowning, he paused in the street, itching his cheek. He spotted a passerby, a haggard looking man, and approached them with his most people friendly smile. Let no one say that, despite his all too fitting name, Gauche wasn't a professional.

"Excuse me, but would you happen to know where this address was...? I cant seem to find it." he said, offering the man the paper.

The man's straw like mustache shuffled as he eyed the paper in discomfort. "Yeah. Yeah, I know where that is."

"Could you give me directions?"

Glancing at the young postal worker, the man looked like he had half a mind to walk on by. "If its Anne Seeing you're lookin' for, you best turn 'round. That place is no good."

Blinking, Gauche glanced at Roda. Glancing back at the man, he pressed, "What do you mean?"

"That house is no good. The land its on is cursed."

Gauche was far from superstitious, but the way the man spoke drove a chill up his spine. While normally he'd have just smiled and pressed for directions, the last few months had seen many mysterious missing person cases. It was hard to feel particularly comfortable these days when someone warned him against a residence.

Regardless, he mused, he had a gun and his Dingo. There was no need for superstitious paranoia.

"I'll keep that in mind. But the directions, if you could...?"

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tada! Short is short.


	3. K1 Journal

The second au! This one is more gruesome and dark, less endearing...but I enjoyed it!

Supplement information! This takes place in the comic, the same world but about 200 years after the fact. Reverse saved the world, the sun was destroyed, and they became heroes. And thats all i'll say, as it'll spoil the rest.

Inspiration: "hear me out" by frou frou

warnings: gore, ideologically sensitive themes, "shota", ooc

disclaimer: I own nothing!

Onward!

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"journal"

The first time he woke up, it was in a hospital room. Cold and sterile, covered in bandages and IVs. He hadn't known up from down, his name, or anything about his life up to that point. His first memory was of a man with gnarled scar tissue under an eye patch and slicked back hair looking down at him.

"You're awake. That's a relief."

A week had gone by before he saw the man again. This time, it was in a sparsely furnished room, on a stiff couch before a desk. The man looked tired, as if he didn't sleep enough.

"My name is Dr Thunderland Jr. From this day on, I will be keeping an eye on you and your development."

What a strange man. He spoke like this was more of a formality. As the days crawled by, he'd learn that that was exactly what that first visit was. A nice way to introduce him into his new life. A life, he found, that involved scalpels and needles.

And more recently, a journal. Dr Thunderland Jr explained that he should use it to express his thoughts, dreams, bodily changes, etc. Of course, as he learned, none of this was private. It was read and discussed weekly with him.

His first entry is about snow. Its about a dream, startlingly vivid and much too clear for his comfort.

He's running through a dank, frigid hallway, a second echo of feet behind him. It gives way to stark white, beautiful and soft beneath his aching bare feet. Snow is flurrying softly around him, ethereal in its beauty.

They run for hours, it feels like. In those hours, he feels exhilaration, fear and an overwhelming joy to be in that endless world of frigid snow. When they fall from exhaustion, he doesn't think to care. It isn't until he sees the pink dyed edges around the person beside him, who is just out of sight, that he realizes something is wrong.

The joy fades away. All he feels is emptiness. Expansive, endless. He knows he is going to die here. But it doesn't scare him as much as he thinks it should. Above him is a sea of beautifully flickering stars. They seem to go on into eternity, and he isn't sure if he's in the snow or drifting in the bank of stars that seem to cluster around him.

The person beside him is wheezing. They are weak, small, and he can hear hushed sobs slipping from them. He isn't sure why, but he's happy they're there. To die with someone so dear to him, under the stars, was a comfort.

"G-Gauche...I-I'm scared..."

When he wakes up, he's covered in sweat and staring at the smooth white ceiling of his room. There are no stars, no snow and the person is gone. In its place, is the 8x6 room that he's called home since he'd arrived.

But now, as he writes down the words, he repeats that name out loud. It sounds...so familiar.

Is it his name?

He decides that it must be.

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	4. M1 Driving

Welcome to part one of the third au! This ones a bit different. But I think people will like it! Maybe.

The background information! Basically set in a world where Atlantis never sank and was a real place. It went like all countries, developing and changing, wars and such. That country was later named amberground. As its set in the real world, there was always a sun, but much of the world remains the same. This is set in the 1800s and the only real way to communicate remains mail. The capital is public, if you have a pass, and thats basically it! Nothing supernatural.

Inspiration: "love story" by taylor swift.

Warnings: "shota", ooc?, au, character death.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Onward!

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"Driving"

Lag held on tightly to his beat up old suitcase as the rickety truck bounced and shook. Next to him, a lanky white dog sat, seeming to mock the boy with how easily it stayed seated and steady on the cracked leather seat. He scrubbed at his still running nose with his frayed sleeve, watching the dirt road ruefully.

The silence stretched for a while, before Gauche finally broke. He glanced at the miserable little boy, uneasy. "Do you need a tissue?"

Lag kept his swollen gaze on the dusty old dashboard. "Mfine."

"Right..." well, he tried. Roda, his faithful companion cast a concerned glance at the boy and then to her master. The young man tried not to make eye contact. He wasn't good at this. Whatever "this" even was.

Over an hour ago, Gauche had been doing his routine deliveries. Dusty roads stretched for miles and the houses were still and silent. Just how he preferred his days. The appearance of a resident, however, had stopped this.

Lag was a regular sight for his route, often retrieving his mother's mail and sometimes playing with Roda, so the man wasn't surprised to see him sitting at the mailbox. He had been surprised, however, to see the boy sobbing to the point that Gauche had feared he might throw up.

When he approached the boy, he had been surprised to have a shaky little hand offer a crisp envelope (except where sticky snotty hands had touched) to him. On the front was Gauche's name written in fine handwriting. Inside had been an uncomfortable request from Lag's mother to take him to his aunt's house.

When Gauche asked to see the woman, Lag's sobs grew in intensity and the man quickly attempted to sooth the child. Grudgingly, he coaxed the boy into his delivery truck and carried on with the route. Gauche didn't try to talk to him. After the first ten minutes, Lag stopped crying. He snuffled noisily, the sound turning the man's stomach, but overall became relatively silent.

After that, they'd carried on until now. Gauche remained in much the same state he'd started as. Glancing at his map, he judged that the destination – one Sabrina Mary's house – would be another two hours away. His truck would need to be refueled...

"S-She's sick..."

Gauche blinked, startled from his thoughts of his boss yelling at him. Glancing at the boy, he assumed he meant his mother. He waited for the boy to continue.

Lag remained quiet for a long moment. Gauche assumed he wasn't going to continue talking and returned his focus to navigating the potholes and stray rubble in his path.

Seemingly annoyed, the boy mumbled, "Arencha gonna ask...?"

This was going to be a long day. "Ask what?"

"Where momma went..."

Gauche regarded Lag for a moment, turning the question in his head briefly. "Its none of my business."

Lag watched him with what the man could only assume was a sour expression. The boy turned his attention back to the endless prairie ahead of them. Gauche fought the urge to sigh when the boy began to sniff noisily. Roda looked between them in disappointment.

"Its none of my business." he repeated, "But if you really have to, you can talk..."

"Y-You don't care..." Lag replied sourly.

"You can talk if you want..." He wouldn't know what to ask regardless. This was already too surreal.

It was silent again. For a moment, Gauche hoped the boy would stay that way. True to his name, he wasn't equipped to be a socially adept human being. He'd prefer not to talk if he could. After a while however, he found the boy talking quietly.

"She got sick...but no one told me." he said quietly, voice raspy from crying so hard earlier. "S-she said she couldn't take care of me...S-so I gotta go live with Auntie..."

It occurred to Gauche that he'd never actually seen the boy's father. Only his fair haired, delicate mother who rarely left her porch. He supposed it made sense now. No parents meant that Lag would have to go to an orphanage or try to live alone, an impossible task for a little kid this far from town.

"I'm sure she'll get better...if she's in a hospital, then she's luckier than most." Gauche replied, a feeling of envy running through his veins briefly.

Lag rubbed his nose clumsily, glancing at Roda and petting her gently. "Y-You think so...?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

The boy seemed to relax. Roda might have had something to do with that, as she nuzzled the boy's sticky cheek. Gauche was relieved to have the situation pass, focusing fully on the road once again. It wasn't that he disliked the kid, but he'd never been particularly good with children. Least of all the sticky topic of sickly parents.

Glancing at his watch, the young man noted it was nearly lunch. He turned to tell Lag that they'd be stopping soon to eat, but paused when he saw that the boy was dozing off against Roda. He blinked, a small smile tugging his lips.

Truth be told, Lag looked very peaceful and cute when he slept. His eyelashes were long and his rosey (although sticky and icky now) cheeks made him look like a little doll. Albeit a big crybaby doll. Much better though than a crying little boy. Lag reminded him too much of Sylvette, from his wide smiles to his runny nosed crying fit just now.

Sighing, Gauche gave Roda a light pet, silently thanking her for comforting the boy. She nuzzled his hand and gave a yawn, closing her eyes a bit. Smiling faintly, he turned his focus back to the road. This daily, routine drive had turned out to be so strange.

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	5. C2 Rain

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"rain"

" _Why does it always rain, when we're together?"_

Lag turned the words over in his mind. Rose, a small girl with the world beyond her grasp it seemed, had said this the night prior. As he laid in front of the hearth, watching the fire lick at a log, he wondered how a stranger had something so profound. Something that Lag wasn't sure how to voice himself.

Why was it that he and Gauche were fated to only meet in adversity? Sometimes, it felt like a perpetual cloud followed the two. It hadn't been that long ago that Lag had to put to bed his dreams of meeting his idol.

Gauche didn't exist, at least not on the surface. It had been hard, crushing, to acknowledge. Harder still, was to admit that Noir wasn't the evil imposter who'd come to take away his hero. To realize he'd told the man he'd wipe him out and refused to consider that maybe Gauche and Noir had been the same person.

It felt like he was a tiny boat being tossed and turned on a stormy ocean. It didn't help that it was raining outside, Lag thought dismally. He wondered how people could put their hearts out so easily in words, when he struggled to just admit his belonged to someone he'd once called an enemy.

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	6. B2 Black

Part two! Its continuing, a bit more substance this time. We finally meet lag!

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"black"

It certainly _looked_ like a haunted house. Tall, two stories, rickety...Gauche half expected to see a crow or a skeleton poking from a gravestone. It didn't help that it was positioned on a tall hill that loomed high above the town, far from any of the street lamps. It was dark and barren, a decrepit fence marking its borders that seemed to stretch from the darkness behind the steep cliff behind the house.

Swallowing, he glanced at Roda. "It certainly has a view..." he joked, trying to relieve some of the discomfort he felt.

Roda gave an unamused huff, trotting to stand beside him. A faint smile formed on his lips. "Right...I suppose that wasn't very funny..."

The road terminated abruptly at the rickety old fence, no gate to prevent intruders. A flickering light warmed a few of the first floor windows, although it only served to make the gloomy house just that much more so.

Still, Gauche was a grown adult. Houses weren't cursed, he reasoned, kicking himself mentally. He was acting like Sylvette when she had been convinced there were monsters under her bed. As if to inspire courage, Roda trotted up the lonely walkway and waited patiently for her partner at the fence.

Laughing nervously, a bit ashamed of himself, the man followed after her.

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Luckily, the occupants didn't carry the same uncomfortable creepy vibe. Anne Seeing was a kind, gentle woman who'd ushered him in and offered him a cup of tea. He'd almost been pushed into a cozy armchair.

"You must be exhausted, its such a long way from Central." she said, offering him a cup.

Gauche felt distinctly out of place in such a warmly decorated home. The hearth crackled with a cozy fire, lace doilies tastefully placed on some of the furniture. A few toys scattered the floor, probably from her child, he mused. It felt like a home, rather than the creepy outward appearance.

Taking the cup, he attempted to salvage his professionalism. "Its all in a days work."

There was a touch of pride in that, the woman noted. "Still, we don't get many Bees so far out here."

"Its not a well mapped area." Gauche supplied.

A patch of silence followed. The man sipped his tea, fidgeting with the delicate cup. Anne watched him, a strange gleam to her gaze. She smiled softly, tilting her head. "I know that its a place people speak badly of. I hope you don't feel uncomfortable here."

"No, of course not ma'am." he said quickly.

"The people have little love for us...I suppose its because we keep to ourselves so much."

That didn't seem cause for the quiet fear the man had from earlier. Still, it was hardly his place to concern himself about a village's gossip. "That's unfortunate..."

Anne sipped her own cup of tea, gazing into it. "Yes. Its why I'd like to start over with my son. He deserves a home where he can actually live."

Her son..."So your son is the delivery in question...?"

"Yes. He's a good boy, you shouldn't have any trouble."

Smiling faintly, Gauche wondered how the woman could afford to send a child over a week's trip away. "I see. If I could-"

"I'll fetch him for you." she seemed to read his mind, standing gracefully from her chair and heading for a staircase just outside of the room.

Gauche sunk back a bit into his chair. Glancing at Roda, he murmured, "This is pretty unusual."

Roda flicked an ear, agreeing with a little huff. They didn't wait long, before soft footfalls and loud sniffling met their ears. Following miserably after his mother, a boy who must have been twelve followed with a heavy suitcase. Like a life size doll, Gauche mused.

Soft, downy white hair obscured part of the boy's chubby cheeked face. His nose was running as he clumsily scrubbed it with a black coat sleeve. The buttons grated against his nose, only causing more sniffles. His sepia eye, the one visible, was framed with doe-like eyelashes.

So this was "Lag". He seemed every bit the whiny child Gauche had expected, although he didn't argue much as his mother soothed him and murmured into his ear. Whatever she had said, it seemed to do the job.

Glancing at the man, the boy forced himself to offer a watery, nasal greeting. "I-I'm Lag...I hope we get along..."

Nodding, Gauche smiled awkwardly. "I'm Gauche. This is my Dingo, Roda."

Lag spared the silky white dog a glance. "I-Its good to meet you..."

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	7. K2 Systematic

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"systematic"

"How was your therapy?"

The young man turned, blinking. He'd just exited the office and had thought that he'd been alone. Sitting on the comfortable looking couch along the wall, sat a young boy with snowy hair and a big curious eye. He was watching Gauche as if he knew him, a thought that unnerved him.

"Who are you...?" Gauche asked apprehensively.

Blinking, the boy looked hurt. His little mouth twisted into a sour frown. "You don't remember me...?"

Something told the man he knew this child, but Gauche couldn't summon a name. "I'm sorry."

"That's mean..." the boy mumbled. "But the doctor said you wouldn't.."

Doctor? Thunderland Jr? Gauche felt distinctly uncomfortable. He made to walk past the boy, who blinked owlishly and grabbed his sleeve. Pausing, the man frowned and met the boy's gaze. He looked back at him, a frown on his chubby little face.

"Arencha gonna introduce yourself?" the boy asked. It sounded more like a demand.

Why would I do that? Despite his unease, the young man sighed. "I'm Gauche..."

The boy blinked, frown easing into a pleased little smile. "I'm Lag. Lag Seeing."

What a strange name. Glancing at the clock, the man gestured. "I need to get going."

Lag hopped off the couch, coming up to his waist at most. "For blood tests, right?"

"How did...?"

The snowy haired boy blinked, gesturing to his own matching bracelet. "I got the same tests."

Cheeky thing. Gauche noted just how observant, or perhaps prying, Lag was. He hadn't noticed the glossy paper around the child's wrist until now. Sufficiently creeped out, the man began to head down the hall. Lag followed, tiny legs keeping pace surprisingly well.

When Gauche glanced from the corner of his eye, he felt a shiver run up his spine to see the boy already watching him. His one, wide eye seemed to pierce through his flesh. And not in a good way. Swallowing, he forced himself to focus on the long hallway.

The Bee Hive had long, winding hallways and tall windows that lined them. The medical wing was a winding maze, but Gauche had memorized all of the shortcuts by now. Pausing at a door, he felt that ever present gaze on the back of his head.

Glancing over his shoulder, Gauche asked, "Why are you staring at me...?"

Lag blinked. "I'm not."

"You are!"

Huffing, the boy crossed his arms. "Maybe its cuz your heads so big!"

"Excuse me...?"

As if to cut the bickering males apart, the door opened and they were ushered into the lab. It was cold and smelled strongly of something neither could put a name of. Definitely not Gauche's favorite place.

Glancing across the room, he noted that Lag was sniffling, teary eyed despite the needle already being pulled out. What a baby, Gauche thought, although he himself hissed quietly as he was pricked by one as well.

Standard tests, he'd been told, to monitor the way the medicine interacted with his body. Lag seemed to be giving a bit more blood though, which seemed odd. Still, he was given a colorful looking candy, so it couldn't be so bad.

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	8. M2 Cake

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"cake"

Lag made a point to invite Gauche to every birthday party he could. At first, his aunt had been uncomfortable with a stranger visiting, no matter how kind Lag insisted that he was.

Of course, Gauche did his best to show up, even if he had a busy day. This was how the boy had met his friend's little sister, an energetic girl who was bound by a wheel chair. Despite this, she raced around Cambel Litus with the other children, a feat many thought impossible. Lag couldn't deny how impressed he was, or how his heart beat when she was around.

So when his birthday was coming up, his aunt Sabrina Mary naturally assumed she'd be cooking for two extra guests. She'd already approached Lag about this, who'd enthusiastically confirmed this.

It was a modest birthday, with a few friends and a sheet cake for the excited kids. There were balloons and bowls of candy and a banner tied across the room. Lag hadn't been able to quell his excitement, almost bounding out of his room in his boxers and undershirt.

Ten was a big age. Lag felt a wave of excitement rush over him when he thought about it. His aunt glanced at him, amused as he insisted on helping set up for the party. To burn off the energy, she assumed. It may also have to do with his budding thoughts of independence though.

"When do you think your friend will be here?" the woman asked, adjusting the banner's height as the boy's obnoxious pug attempted to dismantle it.

"Probably around noon." Lag responded happily.

It wasn't long before the first guests began to trickle in. A gruff little blond girl, Niche, was the first to show up and latch onto Lag. She was a sweet, although a bit too rough, girl. Even if she hadn't been invited, Sabrina mused, she'd probably have shown up anyway. After her were two boys about Lag's age. One was a thin cattish boy, the other a portly child who immediately went for the bowls of snacks.

"Wheres Sylvette?" the cattish boy, Zazie asked loudly.

"She's not going to bring that awful soup, is she...?" The chubby boy asked around a mouth full of chips.

From his side, the girl piped up, "Niche hates Sylvette's icky soup!"

"She's coming, around noon!" Lag said, a bright smile lighting up his face.

"He didn't say anything about the soup..."

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The stars were bright in the dying sunlight. They danced in the deeper blues of the sky as the sun sunk lower, casting the port town in shades of golds and black. Sabrina glanced out the window as she cleaned up the living room. Noon had come and gone, the children already gone home after the party had wound down.

Gauche hadn't shown up.

Lag sniffled a bit, shuffling a bit. The front step he was sitting on was chilly without the sun to warm it. He hugged himself, looking down the neatly paved street quietly. The man wasn't going to show up, he thought bitterly.

Still, he didn't want to go inside yet. Childish determination or not.

For a long time, he'd felt an uncomfortable burning in his chest when the thought of Gauche popped up. Lag wasn't sure what it was, but the thought of not seeing him made his chest ache. He saw the man so little, what with the distance and the man's busy job. He had to come, Lag thought absently.

Another hour had gone by and his aunt shook him gently. Rubbing his eye tiredly, the boy glanced up to her. "A-Ah, I must have dozed off..."

The woman tried not to frown. "Its getting late..."

His stomach sank. Late. A tired smile fought to keep its place on Lag's face. "J-Just a bit more..."

Sabrina regarded the boy in exasperation. Letting out a sigh, she replied. "Come in before your curfew..." It was his birthday, she thought, if he wanted to spend the remainder of his night waiting for a guest that wouldn't come, what could she say?

Lag smiled, nodding. "I will."

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The sound of quick foot steps woke the boy with a start. Blinking rapidly, Lag searched for the source. He was still on the front step, he thought in a daze, as he looked right and then left. It was dark and much of the street was bathed in shadows where the light posts didn't reach.

It took a moment, but Lag realized he wasn't hallucinating. From the left of the street was a familiar figure hurrying towards him. Lag recognized the uniform anywhere, before he even saw the messy white hair and sepia eyes that it belonged to.

Pausing in front of him, the man sighed heavily and leaned on his knees. "I-I'm sorry that I was so late!"

Lag, still in a daze, realized that his missing guest had finally showed up. Swallowing, boy stood and rushed the final few feet between them. Gauche let out a startled cry as Lag threw his weight into him, wrapping his arms around him tight.

Nuzzling into the worn uniform, Lag mumbled, "S'okay..."

Blinking quickly, the man's expression softened. Lag felt his heart skip a beat as a hand gently carded through his hair. Swallowing, he peered up through his bushy bangs. "I-I saved you a piece of cake..."

Gauche smiled. "Thank you..."

"A-And for Sylvette to..."

"I'm sure she'll be very happy."

The boy's watery smile was wide as he tugged his friend into the house. It may have been late, but his favorite part of his birthday had finally shown up. That was all he could ask for.

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	9. C3 Calendar

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"calendar"

It had been 200 days since Lag left home. 200 days since he got his pass for Bifrost. It had been 200 days since Lag had last seen his aunt but in turn met the people he only saw in memories and dreams. Dreams that now, he had thought in a daze, he could finally act on.

Dreams that had been crushed into dust, like the delicately falling heart from Gauche's gun.

Sometimes it didn't feel so long. When he was running across Yusari or laughing with his friends, when Niche would run circles around him trying to escape Sylvette, Lag honestly forgot about numbers.

But when he was alone, away from the soothing twilight of Yusari Central, it felt like it had been decades. When the barren and mountainous land stretched ahead of him and the towns were as cold and empty as the vast sky above him was. When Niche was asleep and the only sound he could hear was Steak's snores, 200 felt like 2,000. It felt immeasurable.

000

Noir held the flimsy paper, curious. As was common of sharing a room, he often ran into Lag's belongings. He hadn't meant to, honest, but Niche had caused a mess downstairs and Sylvette had asked him to fetch some of her clothes while Lag tried to coax the little Maka girl into a bath. He'd been rummaging through Lag's dresser drawers when he had felt the glossy paper under his fingertips.

Curiosity had gotten the better of him, he thought absently. But part of him was pleased to learn anything about the smaller boy. Lag was so skittish at times, Noir sometimes wondered if maybe the boy still held a grudge against him.

Nonsense, he thought, flipping through the calendar. It was dated for almost a year ago, and most of it had nondescript dates circled and notes written down. It was actually pretty sparse. Nothing too personal though, Noir noted in somewhat disappointment.

He was about to put the calendar back when he spotted some red ink under the normally bare paper. Blinking, Noir flipped the page up and was surprised to see so much writing that covered the paper, near to excess.

Upon closer inspection, the man noted that they were all plans. Plans about Gauche. About himself, he mused. While Noir had put to bed any thought that he'd truly get his memories back, or even want them back, he was immensely curious to see himself through the little Bee roommate he had.

Little phrases like "eat pizza!" and "talk about work!" popped out, along with some more intimate things. Noir raised an eyebrow. The words, more tiny than the others, "confess!" and "first date!" were squashed into the second row of the month's week.

Well, that was certainly an eye opener. Of course, he'd always had a feeling, but to see it written down was startling. And a bit rushed, what with the more...intimate goals that lined the third week. Noir had never pegged Lag to be someone impatient.

"Noir! Have you found Niche's pants yet?"

Startled, the man nearly dropped the incriminating packet. Swallowing, he reminded himself that Sylvette needed him. Carefully putting the calender back under the neatly folded stack of clothes, he grabbed Niche's small bundle of spare clothes and headed for the door.

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	10. B3 Supernatural

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"supernatural"

True to her word, Lag was more than easy to deal with. The boy was cooperative and didn't kick up a fuss. At the rate they were going, Gauche estimated that they might make it to Cambel Litus in a week, tops.

Yawning, the trio settled into their camp site. A day of walking was nothing for Gauche, but he was surprised how hearty Lag was. As Gauche attempted to pry open the cans of soup, he could hear Lag and Roda playing nearby.

"Don't play too close to the fire..." he warned.

The boy paused, blinking, before wisely stepping away from the ring of stones. They continued this way as Gauche heated the cans, humming in thought.

"I'm a bit surprised we haven't seen any Gaichu around..." he mused aloud.

Lag paused, glancing at him. "Do you normally see a lot?"

"More than none at all." Offering the can, the man glanced up. "But there have been reports of hybrids around here. So maybe that drove them away from their usual territories."

Taking the can, Lag looked into it for a long moment. "Have there been that many reports...?"

Maybe it was just because the boy lived so far out of town, Gauche mused. "Yeah. A few around Rengus town."

It wasn't hard to understand the boy's unease. Hybrids were creatures that looked like humans, but were a strange form of Gaichu. The capital had been investigating them for years and even captured one once.

Unlike Gaichu though, these creatures couldn't survive without regular feedings. They were especially terrifying. With the reports, he'd have to keep an eye on his human letter.

"Don't worry." the man said, sipping at his soup. "I'll keep us safe. There's no need to be afraid."

Lag laughed weakly. "I know..."

They quieted, as the boy tentatively sipped his own soup. The reaction was instantaneous as he covered his watering mouth.

"G-Gross..."

"H-Hey..."

Roda whined mournfully, her own can barely touched. Between the two, Gauche felt a headache forming. "Listen, just eat! We have a long trip and this is all we have."

The boy's expression darkened a bit. "Don't yell, you're scaring Roda..."

Roda, sensing the stormy conversation, promptly flopped over the boy's lap. Traitor! Rubbing his forehead, the man sighed heavily. "Just eat..."

The two went silent again, though Gauche had half a mind to swat the boy when he saw him stir the can without eating it. No, he thought, if the boy was going to starve himself then that was his problem. He wasn't a babysitter...

After a long moment, Lag spoke, quietly and a bit hard to hear. "What...What do you do to those creatures...?"

Pausing in his meal, the man glanced to the boy. "The hybrids...?"

A short nod. Sighing, Gauche tapped his can with the spoon in thought. "I've yet to encounter any. But the handbook states that we are to, without fail, execute them."

The boy was silent, a bit spooked looking. "E-Execute...?"

"It sounds harsh, I know." Gauche said, setting his can aside. "But they're no different than a Gaichu...if we don't, we'll end up a meal instead."

"I see..."

Sighing, the man took the still full can and set it aside. "Don't dwell on it. Odds are, we wont see any. Get some sleep."

Glancing up, Lag nodded and headed for his bag, tugging out a thick blanket. Neither spoke the rest of the night.

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	11. K3 Candles

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"candles"

His first memory is of flickering candles in the dark little room. Its cold, painfully cold, and he can barely feel his fingertips. Sometimes, when he is finished with work, the boy can still feel his extremities and wishes for the cold to steal away the pain.

The cold little room has no lights, no blankets to take the chill out of the hard stone floors. The sturdy wood door however, has a small slat with rusty bars over it. Through it, he can see the flickering of a candle in its holder.

When Gauche is home sick and wishing fervently to see his little sister, that candle reminds him that this little cell isn't everything he has left.

Sometimes, when everyone is asleep and the guards are careless, he can hear little pattering foot steps outside his door. The first time he heard them, Gauche thought he might have been hallucinating from hunger. There's a soft, nasal voice though, that whispers loudly in the silence.

"Momma says to give you dinner..."

Blinking sluggishly, he had thought he was going crazy for sure. Voices offering food...? But then there was a bundle stuffed through the lower slat, the one he often got bowls of sludge like food through. It drops when the holder grows tired of waiting for the exhausted fifteen year old to take it, falling open to reveal bread and a neatly wrapped canister of something liquid.

At first, Gauche expected it to be a cruel joke or maybe just another of his hallucinations. He's had many of those before now, it wouldn't be a surprise. Still, his hunger urges him forward and he grabs for the bread first.

The voice is silent, before a curious sepia colored eye peers through the slat. If Gauche still cared about how he looked, he'd probably be embarrassed. He's skin and bones, his flimsy clothing is tattered, his skin is smudged with dirt and his hair falls in greasy strips. Still, the curious onlooker doesn't seem too concerned.

Gauche supposes, although he isn't sure how he can be certain, that the little child on the other side of the door has seen worse. From beyond the door, he can see the faint light of a candle.

Later, when he's recounting this memory to Dr. Thunderland Jr, Gauche feels a strange warmth about that curious eye. He remembers how beautifully lit it was by that flickering light and how much he began to look forward to the child's presence every subsequent night.

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	12. M3 Vehicle

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"vehicle"

The old truck looked almost the same as it had when Lag was only seven. Dusty white metal sides, cracked leather seats, the same mud caked tires. Inside smelled the same, the boy mused as the truck rambled along the dusty road it had so long ago.

Glancing to the man, the boy smiled a bit. "Its been a while."

Gauche spared him a glance, "It has. I didn't think I'd be making a trip this long."

"I'm sorry..."

The man blinked, shaking his head. "No, its fine. I'm more than happy to."

Lag had his doubts. Leaning back into the seat, he glanced out the window. He hadn't left Cambel Litus in years. It was at the extreme opposite of the capital, a trip that would have taken probably a week at the least just to get halfway there by foot.

A week ago, a letter came from his mother. The news had become progressively dismal as the years had gone by. Her health only got worse by the year. She didn't have long now, a thought that Lag refused to acknowledge. Still, his mother had requested that he visit. Gauche had been kind enough to agree to take him to the city, the center of their continent.

At least by truck, it'd take only a week or so.

One good thing, Lag mused, was that he'd be spending an entire week or two with the man. A smile tugged at his lips.

000

At noon, they'd pulled into the familiar gas station that Gauche had stopped at all those years ago. Lag came prepared, hopping out of the truck with his wallet and following the man into the station. He wouldn't be duped into eating that nasty soup twice.

Gauche blinked as Lag looked for a long moment between the prepared meals and the single serve foods. The heated stove popped with grease and the food looked appetizing, if one overlooked the dubious quality.

"Why don't you just get the sandwich...?"

Lag glanced to the man, blinking. Something about the way he said it told him the food wasn't to be trusted. Lag promptly grabbed the cellophane wrapped sandwich

000

Gauche had warned the boy ahead of time that funds were tight. As they checked into the dusty old motel, Lag understood what he meant. Kyrie was a small, over priced place, with people that seemed to pass through the streets like ghosts.

Lag marveled at the massive church at the center though. Gauche glanced at the awed expression and smiled a bit. "If you want, we can stop and see it before we leave."

Lag nodded enthusiastically, a bright smile on his face. "I'd like that!"

Had it not been close to ten at night, they'd probably have visited then. As it were, they got to the hotel only to find that the prices were outrageous. Still, Gauche didn't trust the city and didn't think he could expect the boy to sleep in the truck.

It was a small room with cracked walls and a bed that looked like it had seen a murder or two in its time. Gauche felt his stomach turn. 7,000 rin for this...

Lag, for all his disappointment, said, "Its not so bad. Look, it even has a window!"

"I doubt it even opens...are those nails?"

It was a tight fit in the bed. Lag hadn't seemed to mind, and Gauche was thankful the boy was so small as they squirmed to find a comfortable position. An arm here, a leg there, but eventually they formed a comfortable ball of limbs and bodies.

Swallowing, Lag felt his heart pound in his chest. "I-Its a bit tight..."

"I know..."

Gauche didn't think it wise to dwell on how much of the boy's body he could feel. His stomach was rolling. "Its only for tonight..."

Lag felt a touch of disappointment. "I know."

000

"This is huge!"

Lag spun in a slow circle to see the entirety of the church, smiling wide. It genuinely was massive, with tall stained glass windows and a towering ceiling. At the highest point, Lag could see an enormous bell.

"Its the biggest church in AmberGround." Gauche supplied, following the boy as they walked further inside. "Another Bee commissioned it."

"A Bee did?" But that must have cost a fortune...!

"Yes. He's pretty famous for it to." and pretty cool, the man mused.

000

It didn't take long to climb back into the truck and cross the bridge. In the past, Gauche had explained, it was heavily monitored and restricted to all but a small portion of the population. Now, it was just a high toll to cross it.

Still, the glittering waves that licked at the ancient bridge were beautiful. Lag could have fallen asleep to the sound of the swelling water, had he not been so excited to look around. Bifrost had a special beauty, he mused, that other bodies of water didn't

000

Above them, the trees seemed to sigh as the wind rustled through their branches. They formed a graceful arch over the neatly cobbled road, casting the truck in soft shadows. It was gorgeous, a word Lag found himself attaching to much of the world he was just now seeing.

Central was a fascinating place, with so much to see and smell and hear. As Gauche's truck puttered down the streets, he paused to tell the boy about the places they saw. He listened eagerly, drinking up the details. The man felt a smile tug at his lips.

Lag's awe was hard not to catch, Gauche noted. There was something about the wide eyed, slack jawed expressions that made his chest feel light. But seeing a child light up about most anything had that effect, or so he'd been told before.

000

Sylvette was delighted to see not only her elusive brother but also her long distance friend. At the age of twelve, she was certainly more matured in many ways, Lag noted, doing his best not to stare. The moment she spotted the boy, Sylvette had insisted they sit at the table and talk.

The house was like a museum to the boy. It was a two story, narrow home with enough furniture to make it feel homey. Gauche had told him a long time ago, that the house was one of the older buildings in their neighborhood. Easily 90 years.

That said, the man had no idea about most of the architecture. Neither sibling had any idea about the bannister or the door frames, but then Lag didn't know about his house either.

Dinner was, of course, delicious. As he dug into his second helping of shepherds pie, Gauche had informed them that the two would be spending the night here. To save on costs and to actually rest, he had said, but Lag suspected the man just missed home. Lag hadn't been gone more than a few days and he already missed his aunt.

000

The bed, thankfully, was a bit bigger than the hotel one. Still, it was a tight fit. Not that Gauche hadn't offered to take the couch, but Lag had insisted on sharing. Both had a long trip ahead of them still.

Nestled next to his friend and near idol, surrounded by his scent and warm blankets, Lag fell asleep quickly. It was possibly the most comfortable place he'd ever slept. It was hard, however, for Gauche to find that same comfort.

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	13. C4 Art

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"art"

Noir regarded the crumpled up paper curiously. Turning it over, he'd found the clumsy writing "To: Gauche" scrawled over the back. On the front was a bizarrely awful drawing of who he could only assume was himself, although the Bee uniform gave him the impression it was meant to be Gauche.

It sent an odd pang through his chest, and he wasn't sure if it was a pleasant feeling or not. He'd been looking for his clothes (all of his boxers had gone missing mysteriously) through the drawers and had stumbled upon the odd drawing. According to Sylvette, Lag had been renting the room. Although the boy often wasn't home lately, they still shared a room and sometimes Noir found himself in awkward scenarios or found proof of the boy's existence all over.

Truth be told, it felt a bit like excavating a lost city at times. He'd found Lag's worn out and abandoned calendar some time ago and the other day he'd stumbled across a number of crumbled up and abandoned letters. Most of the things Noir found were little odd nick nacks. He'd always put them back neatly, not wanting the boy to know his secret trove of treasures weren't so secret these days.

From the looks of it, the deformed portrait of himself was some sort of letter. Noir could sense a warmth in it, a bubbling of heart.

000

"W-What is that...?" Lag stammered as he stepped into the upstairs hallway.

Perched neatly in a frame on the wall was his picture letter to Gauche. Behind him, he heard the soft footfalls of Roda, who glanced at the source of the boy's mortification.

"Noir found it." she said simply.

"W-Why is it framed though?" Lag sputtered, face warming as he spoke.

Roda regarded him in amusement. "He liked it, I assume."

That didn't explain a thing! Lag fought back a groan, rubbing his forehead. It didn't occur to him to ask why the man had framed a picture that was of himself as Gauche, which perhaps would have lead to a number of more puzzling questions.

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	14. B4 Night

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"night"

It was hard, almost unbearable, to resist the pangs of hunger that racked his slight body. Leaving home, the safety of his hunting grounds, had been a harsh blow. Crippling. He couldn't go on like this. A week was one thing but two...?

Swallowing, Lag felt a familiar _something_ coil in his chest. The town was crawling with people, no one would suspect anything as long as he made it look like a human attack.

He'd crept out of bed, soundlessly, and went to the door.

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	15. K4 Walk

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"walk"

The hallways were long, dark and miserably cold. The hardest part, Gauche reasoned, was traveling to and from the building sites in the underground maze of stone. At only ten years old, he was a thin child, wiry even. It made keeping warm a hard task.

Still, it meant he could earn money. Money, he had found upon being kicked out of his home, meant life.

And it seemed there was no shortage of money in the tall, ancient fortress. There were at least a dozen other people who crawled the walls, making repairs where the foremen directed. It wasn't particularly challenging work, but it was hard.

Another thing he'd found, was that Blue Notes Blues was not only extremely out of the way, but covered in snow. Sub zero, biting, skin peeling, snow.

These memories, Gauche could summon with ease. Even when other memories were only blurry, vague thoughts, these weren't Much like how he knew his name. Knew his little sister Sylvette's name, even knew the name of the place he'd worked in as a child.

Lag however, remained a constant mystery to him.

The boy followed him like a puppy, talking about this and that, never letting the man relax long enough to enjoy the peaceful silence that came with a trip down the halls of the Bee Hive. It felt a bit like Lag went out of his way to be so insistent with his demands to be near him.

It also hurt to see the boy. His head pounded when he spent time near him. Not only due to how loud the boy was, but also because he made something cry out in Gauche's memory. When brought up to Thunderland Jr, the man had been fascinated.

"Interesting..." he'd mutter and write in his notes. What he wrote, Gauche had no idea.

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	16. M4 Never A Time

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"there is never a time or place"

Lag matured in strange ways, Gauche thought. The boy had shot up a few inches, but his baby fat hadn't left his cheeks or his middle. He cried far less, although he still bawled with the right prompt.

The boy was still just that. A child. The way he moved and spoke still conveyed that endless innocence that only children seemed to possessed.

I'm sick, he thought.

The hospital was bright and smelled of bleach. It made Gauche's head ache. Next to him, Lag dozed against his side. From his vantage point, the boy's long lashes looked especially lovely splayed over his round cheeks. Like puffy snow flakes.

His stomach rolled.

No, this wasn't the time, he thought. They were here to see Lag's mother. The woman's health had waned over the years and only seemed to worsen these days. She was asleep in the bed they sat next to in their stiff chairs.

Lag had asked with those big, desperate sepia eyes for a ride to the hospital in Akatsuki. It was far, excessively so. Gauche was dumbfounded when the boy had produced two passes to enter the city, a city he'd been working tirelessly for years to enter. The boy was near tears, his voice watery as he rattled off a thousand promises to make up for the trip.

Gauche had stopped him midway and agreed.

It had been a long trip. In many ways. Gauche felt sick. The boy beside him had done something over the years to his heart. Gauche didn't want to acknowledge it. Admitting to these feelings meant that he'd have to accept them.

Lag mumbled in his light sleep, shifting against the man. After a moment, his visible eye fluttered open in a way that decidedly raised Gauche's blood pressure. When the boy met his gaze, he smiled faintly, the stress of the trip showing through.

"I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep..."

Gauche waved a hand. "Its fine. You needed it."

Lag's smile grew a bit. His heart beat faster. Glancing at the still sleeping woman, the man tried to remind himself why he was here. It wasn't to form inappropriate feelings for a twelve year old, he chided himself.

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	17. C5 Bed

Thank you so much to the person who reviewed! I was glowing, it really brightened my day! C:

this was a fic i've batted around a bit before now, but I decided to just get out. It tiptoes slightly into adult territory. As much as hinted puberty based effects can be called adult anyway. If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip!

Warning: implied wetdreams, liberal interpretation of heart, possible oocness!  
Inspiration: "heart beat" by scouting for girls  
disclaimer: I own nothing!

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"bed"

That first night had been so many things, Lag thinks as he looks back. Gauche's room was...sparse. Few pieces of furniture adorned the room and outside of a photograph of Sylvette, there was nothing that stuck out.

When Lag opened the door, he thought he saw a spider or three dart back to their webs in the shadowy recesses of the room. Taking a breath choked him, the dust thick. Gauche's room was a time capsule, a place that hadn't been cracked open in years.

Everything in the Suede sibling's home cried out with memories and heart. Lag could hardly touch a chair without the warmth of heart bubbling through him, making something inside of him ache. This room was no different. If anything, it held so much more.

That first breath of stagnant air shook him. To his head to toes, Lag was overwhelmed by the amount of sheer _heart_ in the room. He didn't need to call out any frames. The bubbling, fluffy puffs of his idol's very soul freely swirled in the recently disturbed air. It landed on Lag's nose like a snowflake, warm and soft.

Niche was startled by her new partner and friend's choked sob, hurrying around him to peer into Lag's eye. "Whats wrong Lag? Should Niche lick it?"

Lag gave her a watery smile, rubbing at his eye with the heel of his palm. "I-Its nothing, Niche..."

The girl frowned, eyebrows knitting together. "But Lag cried."

Laughing weakly, Lag struggled to find an adequate way to express himself. It wasn't that he was sad, not necessarily, but that the now fading flakes of heart had overwhelmed his tiny body. It was too much, in too small a space, from someone much too close to Lag's heart. Perhaps that was why he was so strongly touched?

"I-Its nothing, I'm just...really happy."

And he was. Gauche may not be here, he may be gone. But Lag's dreams were slowly coming true. He was a Bee, he was able to meet all the people he'd seen all those years ago in Gauche's memories. And now, he thought, he was about to sleep in the very same bed his idol had.

Muscling past all of that stagnant, overpowering heart was a chore in and of itself. What was once weightless and soft,was like a snow bank that hadn't been cleared in a while. Perhaps to anyone else, the heart wouldn't even be detectable. Lag wasn't anyone else though. By the time he got to the bed, he didn't even mind that it was stiff and cold and dusty.

That night, Lag had been too exhausted to really take in his surroundings. The next, he had the chance to actually breathe in the faded scent of the pillow and sheets. To say they smelled good would be laughable, Lag thinks, but the way he had buried his face in the down pillow, you'd have thought it smelled like flowers.

Dusty, sweaty, earthy, but all _Gauche_.

Lag was embarrassed to say that he'd woken up with quite a mess on the sheets that next night. His face was beet red as he fumbled to try to clean them before Sylvette caught him, desperate to erase the evidence.

Part of him, he remembers, was just terrified of what that had meant.

And, just like that, his budding teenage hormones had taken away that wondrously _Gauche_ from the sheets. He'd be honest, Lag was disappointed to lay in a bed that no longer smelled like his long lost friend and idol. In its place was lavender, a scent that Lag knew was at the base of those years old scents in the sheets, but still lacking in the idol part.

000

Noir, Lag decided, was just barely like Gauche. And he smelled almost the same. A thought that, when cramped into a bed between the man and Niche, caused its own fair share of problems. Lag felt the heat crawl up his neck at the memory of sticky shorts and sticky sheets.

"Having trouble?" a soft voice mumbled, too close to his ear.

 _Bastard_ , he thought miserably, shuddering. "I-I don't know what you're talking about..."

A light snicker followed that response, as the three squirmed to get comfortable. The room wasn't big enough for another bed and neither could afford a bad night's sleep. Niche, of course, refused to part from her precious friend. Lag was just happy that Roda hadn't tried to cram herself between the three as well.

Noir, for his part, was trying not to pick on the boy. He could tell that being so close to another human was giving the boy problems. The man had his theories on how much it had to do with that person being his former personality, versus just hormones.

Still, he couldn't lie and say this was at all comfortable. But Noir was certain they'd get into a more comfortable routine eventually. For now, all teasing aside, they really did need to sleep.

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	18. B5 Mentalist

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"mentalist"

"You should toss that child away, while you can."

Pausing, Gauche glanced at the speaker. She was a tired, heavily made up woman who looked like she had been through one too many tragedy. Her dark eyes were watching the boy at his side as if he were a monster.

Lag felt his heart quicken, swallowing. "Where did that come from?"

The woman ignored him, her dark eyed gaze already focused on Gauche. "All that will come of being near him, is chaos."

The man blinked, confused. "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. But regardless, he's part of my job."

Lag glanced between the two, chewing his lip. Gauche gently tugged at his hand. He didn't have time for old crystal ball scryers. I'm already behind schedule! He thought in dismay.

Following his guardian, Lag cast one last glance at the hunched old woman. He felt a distinct sense of unease run through his slight frame. The woman watched him with the same expression as before, making a quick little prayer sign. Lag thought it was ironic.

Still, he was thankful that the woman hadn't truly confronted him. As he settled into the motel room's bed, the boy let out a sigh of relief. Gauche had insisted on taking shelter after the last town's recent Gaichu attack. The creatures were roaming outside of their territories, so he hadn't felt particularly safe sleeping in the open. After sleeping so long on the cold ground, Lag was delighted to sleep in a warm bed.

Sighing, the man tugged off his boots, sitting next to the boy. Lag felt his heart jump, swallowing. Glancing over his shoulder, the man asked, "Is everything alright?"

Lag nodded, chewing his lip. "Y-Yeah..."

Deciding against asking too many questions, the man yawned and laid down heavily on the flimsy old mattress. The ceiling was cracked and it smelled strongly of cleaning fluid, but a bed was a bed. Lag rolled to his side, facing the wall. Sharing a bed was decidedly uncomfortable. Lag's entire body buzzed near him.

Roda stretched and slept neatly over the over stuffed armchair in the corner. It was quiet in short time. Lag felt hyper aware, hunger keeping him awake. He'd always had trouble fighting off the aches in his chest. Still, the other night had clearly not gone unnoticed.

Lag felt relief bubble in his chest. Thank the Empress that no one trusted crazy old women. They wouldn't suspect him. Still...it was too close. He couldn't slip up again.

I'll just have to wait until we arrive at Cambel Litus, he thought.

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	19. K5 Winter

So we're starting to see where things actually began for the two, and why lag seems so familiar. Hopefully it goes better for them in the future! Maybe

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"winter"

Winter was always his least favorite season. It was especially harsh in Blue Note Blues, he remembers. Not that Lag had ever left the crumbling old fortress. Still, the cold sapped away the warmth and the wind howled through the cracks in the stone walls.

Trotting down the hallway, he wondered if his friend had ever seen the snow up close. He wondered if it was as puffy and soft as it looked, or if it was cutting and painful like the cold was. Guards and the routine workers regarded him respectfully although the boy ignored them as he passed.

At the end of the long, dark corridor in the bowels of the fortress, his friend's door peered out of the grimy wall. Lag side stepped the dark sticky puddles that seeped from a few doors, humming quietly as he approached his destination.

Peering inside of the slat in the lowest part of the door, the boy blinked. He couldn't see the man at all. Had he been taken out? That didn't seem quite right. No one ever left this place. Rubbing his hands together and tugging his sweater over them, the boy looked around and frowned.

Lag headed back up the narrow stone staircase, ignoring the cries from beyond the doors. He used to be afraid of this place. Guards told him monsters and bad people were here. His mother though, had told him not to believe everything he heard.

His mother...

She hadn't been well lately. She coughed hard and slept for hours at a time, and shivered no matter how many blankets Lag brought her. Sighing, he watched his breath puff around his hands as he blew into them. His friend hadn't been well either.

Lag was only seven. His birthday was coming up to. The thought that his friend, like so many others, would die was a thought that weighed heavily on his mind. Would his mother die to...?

Shaking his head fast, the boy furiously dispelled the thought. Only the people in the basement died!

Passing by the window, Lag blinked. A procession of dark cloaked people were crossing the courtyard, an eerie sight in all of the white snow. Frowning, he wondered why these strange guests were here.

Hurrying down the hall, the boy opened the door and called, "Mommy! We got visitors!"

Silence met his call. Blinking, the boy looked around the lushly decorated room quickly. No one was there. Actually, now that he looked, there were some things overturned and one of his toys was broken. A strange feeling shot through his chest.

What was going on...?

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	20. M5 Hospital

Sad times ahead...

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"hospital"

Anne passed away peacefully. There was no drama, no frantic battle to resurrect her. She'd simply fallen asleep, her precious son in the chair next to her, and hadn't woken back up. A soft expression had graced her youthful face.

Lag wondered how she could look so happy, when he felt so utterly _wretched_.

Letting out a weak sigh, the boy rubbed his sore eyes with the back of his hand. Gauche had went ahead earlier that day, before Lag had awoken to his mother's untimely demise, to get breakfast for them. He'd yet to return.

What if he left to...?

A crippling ache attacked Lag's chest. Sucking in a breath, he held his shirt tight. Gauche would never do something like that. The man could be sorely forgetful, sure, and sometimes made him cry, but abandoning him was far from a possibility.

Right?

Then why did it feel like he had?

It was noon. His mother had been gone for hours. Gauche had been gone for hours. He was alone. Swallowing, Lag forced himself to take deep breaths.

He wasn't alone. Gauche would come back.

A fresh wave of nausea crashed over him.

And then what? He'd leave the hospital, leave his mother? Go back home and pretend that his situation was temporary? That he'd see his home again, see his friend's car make its daily drive up that musty old road again, or catch the fluff from the blooming desert flowers with his mother again?

Where was Gauche...?

000

By the time Gauche returned, it was at least two in the afternoon. He'd gotten lost trying to find a gas station and a place to get breakfast. By the time he had, it was already lunch. Sighing, the man stepped into the small room Lag's mother occupied.

It was empty.

Frowning, the man looked around before hailing down a passing nurse.

"Excuse me, but where is the woman who was here...?"

The woman looked exhausted, but replied politely. "The patient passed away this morning. Her son..."

He didn't hear past that. Anne had died while he was away? Lag was alone...? Anxiety engulfed him. Oh god, he'd left the boy to cope alone.

"W-Where is her son, where is Lag Seeing?" he interrupted.

"H-Her son is..."

There was a gentle tug on the end of his long scarf. Turning, Gauche felt the short lived nausea abate. Lag looked up to him, eyes swollen, but a small smile on his lips.

"I-Its okay...I'm r-right here..."

The man didn't stop to think if it was appropriate as he scooped the boy up into a tight hug, dropping the bag of lunch somewhere in the process. He heard Lag's startled gasp and felt two small hands grasp onto his coat. Those hands shook weakly, he noted.

"I'm here, I'm sorry..."

He felt a watery smile against his cheek. "I-I know..."

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	21. C6 Need You Now

Oh boy, now things begin! And also, whose this? a zazie/lag hint? oh no, i've done it now...

warning: oocness, outright gayness  
inspiration: "this aint a love song" by scouting for girls

disclaimer: I dont own nothin!

Also yes I fully believe zazie is a crazy cat person. "i'll just get cats, and they can eat me when I die alone!"

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"need you now"

"Lag, you don't look so well..."

Startling from his daze, the boy blinked a few times, turning his dazed gaze to Sylvette. The rhythmic sound of her knife chopping had stopped, he noted. She watched him with concerned eyes, a frown tugging at her lips.

"I'm fine..." he mumbled, yawning and moving to the table to coax Niche out from under. The girl was brushing her teeth, but hiding stubbornly from the wheeled devil that was Sylvette, glowering from under the table.

"You don't look so fine..."

Lag suspected that had something to do with sharing a bed with Noir for the last few days. The man left a lot to be desired as a bedmate. Shaking his head, the boy sighed. Niche trotted out from under the table, eying the boy appraising

Yes, the little Maka decided, something was definitely wrong with her partner.

000

A hand settled in Lag's hair roughly, ruffling the mess into a tangle. Lag whined, ducking out of reach of the offending appendage. Glancing over his shoulder, the boy frowned up at the familiar crazy cat boy.

"Niche and Sylvette say you're not doing so well." the older boy said, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

Ahah. "I'm fine, Zazie..."

Zazie gave him a top to bottom glance, raising an eyebrow. "Lag, your shoes aren't even tied."

The boy bristled. "What does that have to do with anything...?"

"You cant fight Gaichu with untied shoes." the older boy said, sighing. "C'mon, whats the problem? Noir giving you trouble?"

As usual, the cat boy could read him like a book. Worrying his bottom lip, Lag sighed heavily. Zazie, while he often teased him, could always be relied on. He'd done more for Lag than the boy could honestly admit to.

"I..."

Zazie frowned, leaning his weight on one foot. "Yeah?"

Closing his eye tight, the boy blurted out, "I-I think I'm in love and I don't know how to feel about it! O-Or even what to do!"

There was a stunned silence between the two boys, broken only by Lag's quiet sniffling. Zazie opened his mouth, then closed it. He blinked a few times. Well, this wasn't exactly what he had expected, at all. But love was better than what he'd expected.

Still...

"Just to be clear," The older boy said slowly, tilting his head. "You're...with Noir?"

A subdued nod, followed by a pathetic hiccup, was his answer. Sighing heavily, Zazie scratched under his hat, closing his eyes. "I was worried you were being abused or something..."

Blinking, Lag scrubbed at his face clumsily. "W-What? No...he isn't"

"Well, this is much less awful than I expected."

The boy began to walk towards the BeeHive, his crying friend following after with a small whine. "I-Its really awful! I don't know anything about this sort of thing!"

Zazie raised an eyebrow, and Lag swallowed back an apology "I-Its not the same..."

A scoff. "Right. Whatever, it doesn't matter."

"Zazie..."

Coming to a stop near the stairs that lead to the building, the raven haired boy turned to face his friend. "Listen, if its something you want, you should just ask him out. Who knows how long we've all got left? There's no room for regrets."

Chewing his lip, Lag didn't miss the way his friend's voice shook ever so slightly. It didn't escape him how cruel the irony was in that statement. Sighing, the boy looked down.

"How do I even begin to do that...?"

The hard look in Zazie's eyes softened and the boy ruffled his little friend's hair. "I think you'll figure that out."

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	22. B6 Pebbles

Oh man the drama really starts...oh dear

warning: violence!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

onwards!

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"pebble"

They say, when a pebble is dropped into water, the resulting waves spread far far from the center. Gauche supposed, that he should have seen the impacts his decision would have. From the start, all the evidence was there, all the proof.

He looked between the boy he was delivering and the body that was still convulsing on the ground. The life was ebbing away, although he was fairly certain all the heart inside was already gone. It was hard not to focus on the mess of tattered skin and missing bits of flesh.

Gauche couldn't bring himself to look at Lag. The boy's face was covered in gore and what looked like sticky ropes of...something. He knew what it was, but his mind was too erratic to summon the name.

The boy stared at him, mouth still open a bit. His lip quivered. "G-Gauche I..."

But he stopped abruptly. There wasn't much to say. What _could_ he say? How could he explain away the truth that the man had seen? His eye welled with fat tears. Terror wracked his slight form.

He didn't want to die.

Lag bolted.

Gauche held up a hand, as if to stop him. "Lag!"

The boy rounded a corner, but didn't look back. Gauche stood rooted to the spot. Roda took off after Lag, but he found his legs wouldn't budge.

What would he do if he chased him? The employee handbook, in no uncertain terms, said that these hybrid children were to be executed. Gauche had yet to actually encounter these humanoid Gaichu before, but to him, Lag wasn't some monster. He was a person, if not a letter right this moment.

Swallowing, the man forced himself to chase after the boy. He'd decide what to do when he caught up to him.

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	23. K6 Magic

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"magic"

"Momma said I was magic, y'know."

He hadn't asked, either. Gauche paused in his lunch, glancing at the boy across the table. Lag ate like any kid his age would. Messy. Spooning his cafeteria lunch into his chubby cheeks, the boy glanced up.

"Really now..."

"M'tellin the truth. See," he lifted a hand and pulled back the fringe that covered his left eye. Gauche stared, a mixture of horror and awe filling him. Nestled in his eye, surrounded by scars, was a deep red piece of amber. The eyelid was completely missing and it looked like the stone was too big for the socket.

Years ago, the stones had been magic, used to combat massive robot bugs. Or so books had said. Now the pieces of amber were little more than props or occult collections. But Lag's eye was clearly not a naturally occurring specimen.

Who had done that...?

Taking his expression to mean he believed him, the seven year old let go of his hair and grinned. "See? Momma says they put it in when I was a baby, but that it makes me magic. Says the bugs like me."

Bugs...? Gauche didn't try to guess. Of the many things he couldn't recall, some things caused intense reactions. Thunderland Jr theorized that the kidnappers may have used these stimuli to cause this.

The man didn't have the heart to tell the boy that his mother had let mad men cut out his eye and stuff a piece of rock in the socket. He probably wouldn't believe Gauche anyway.

Lag continued happily, eating while he spoke. "Momma says that I was born cuz of the sun, that's why its gone. That I'm the last hope." he seemed proud, glancing up. "Arencha jealous?" he teased.

"Not really..."

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	24. M6 Dance

Oh boy, more tiptoeing into the five foot end of the pool! I'm trying super hard to do it slowly so when it just drops into 9 feet no one is like "holy balls when did that happen!?" ehehe...

once again, if adult situations make you uncomfortable, feel free to skip! Also I crammed two prompts into one, since neither was big enough to warrant separate chapters since I need the room. So two for one! Like a bogo 8D

warning: adult situations, oocness, gayness

inspiration: "sledge hammer" by fifth harmony and the major inspiration, "love story" by taylor swift

disclaimer: I own nothing!

Onward!

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"sledgehammer"

The bed was small, but a welcomed luxury after the last week of sleeping in a chair or the back of Gauche's delivery truck. Sighing, Lag felt like his head felt like a thousand pounds as it hit the downy pillow. Mental, emotional and physical exhaustion was catching up to him.

Sighing, the boy, rolled to his side. He was full and content for the moment. He wouldn't say he was happy, but the comforting warmth at his back brought him as close to happiness as he could get right then.

Sylvette's cooking and Gauche's warm body were magic, Lag decided. Still, the proximity brought its own round of sleep depriving thoughts. Was that arm around his belly necessary? Why did the soft puffs of breath against his neck make his entire body tingle? Why did he want Gauche to pull him so he turned around, what was he expecting?

Swallowing, Lag fought the urge to just ask. Gauche knew a lot, so the boy was certain he'd know these answers. Still, it felt like something he shouldn't ask.

"Whats the matter?" came a soft murmur.

Too close, Lag thought, ear tingling. "H-Huh?"

The arm around his slight torso tightened reflexively. "You're breathing fast...'

That sounded serious. "I-I'm fine..."

As the boy attempted to slow his breathing, Gauche peered over his shoulder. "Are you sure?"

No, he thought, he wasn't His heart was hammering against his rib cage, his mind was a blur and in the center of it all seemed to be the man next to him. Ever since his tenth birthday, nothing made sense when he thought of the man.

Swallowing, Lag nodded. "Y-Yeah..."

000

"dance"

Gauche hadn't visited in a long time. Months had gone by. Lag felt like his entire world had stopped in just a few short weeks. His mother was gone, his friend had stopped coming and his heart was behaving strangely these days.

He took to reading, when studying wasn't enough to keep the loneliness at bay. Sure, he had his friends. Zazie and his cat parade still visited and Connor showed up almost daily. Niche still clung to him like a shadow and his aunt Sabrina was always there to talk.

But something was still missing...

Shaking his head, Lag sighed and turned a page. Classes still rambled on, the homework never ending. His literature teacher was a man with great passion for old works, giving them a book every few months to study and write about.

This month, was more of a play. Lag always had trouble understanding old English, even though his own language was rooted in Latin and Germanic languages. He should, by all accounts, be able to understand this perfectly.

Should, but couldn't, he mourned as he stared at the cheat sheet he kept by his bed. Another thing, he noted, was that this particular author was obsessed with killing off lovers. How did people get into these scenarios?

Furthermore, he didn't understand how two families could fight like cats and dogs. Although, despite the unbelievable parts, Lag found himself enjoying Romeo And Juliet more than he'd expected.

A story of two people, separated by so much, finding love and happiness... it sounded too good to be true for a Shakespeare play, he thought. He wasn't finished though.

Still...he wondered how it felt, to be loved so much and to love so much, that he could risk his life for that person.

And to meet in such a romantic way, how lucky could these two get...

Sighing, Lag attempted to decipher the next page. Meeting at a huge ball and climbing up a balcony...he wondered if any of his friends had ever felt something so strong to make them do something so crazy.

Lag wondered, briefly, if Gauche ever felt that way about someone. Closing his eyes, the boy let himself imagine such a thing.

The memory of sleeping so close to Gauche, feeling his heart beat soothingly against his back came to mind. Swallowing, Lag felt his entire face heat up.

For months now, that last night in Gauche's room haunted him. In his dreams, things escalated. Lag didn't know what they were doing, but he knew they were embarrassing, private sort of dreams. He'd gleaned as much from Zazie and Connor anyway.

Squeezing his eyes closed, Lag told himself not to think about it. Weird things happened with friends, it didn't mean anything. Rolling onto his side, he ignored how his body reacted to the memory.

His aunt had explained that puberty could be cruel. He wasn't sure what to think of that yet. Lately, he wasn't sure what to think at all.

He wanted his friend back. He wanted to have more of those nights. He wanted so many things that contradicted themselves.

If Gauche was here, he could have asked him if he thought about nights like that. If he still remembered how warm and soft he was. Or maybe just begged him for answers to his strange thoughts.

Why wasn't he here?

This stupid play wasn't helping.

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	25. C7 Dinner

Now things get to where they ought to be~ its goofy and happy and downright sickeningly cute imo but thats a good thing! Or so I hope...

warning: ooc, crackiness, fluffy stuff, zazie and connor trying too hard  
inspiration: ?

disclaimer: I own nothing!

Onward! I really dont like the ending but I do at the same time...

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"dinner"

Noir lowered the paper in his hands, blinking as he processed what he'd just heard. Lag's face was beet red, his shoulders drawn up as if he were reporting in to his superiors. It was a day off, a rare thing for a Bee, and the boy was dressed in a comfortable sweater and oversized pants.

Somehow, he looked a bit more groomed than usual, the man noted.

"You want to go to dinner with me...?"

Putting words to the requests seemed to intensify Lag's embarressment. "Y-Yeah. T-Theres a r-really good p-pizza place that C-Connor suggested!"

Niche glanced from her bowl of soup, blinking owlishly. "Where Connor took Sunny?"

"Y-Yeah, Niche." Lag stammered, feeling as if she'd outed him somehow.

Noir tilted his head, resisting the urge to snicker at the boy's discomfort. "Should I ask Sylvette then?"

"O-Oh um..."

Ever the helpful one, Niche piped up, "Sylvette says she's busy with orders!"

"Well then," Noir hummed, an amused grin curving his lips. "I guess that settles that."

Smiling nervously, Lag wiped his clammy hands on the inside of his sleeves. "Y-Yeah, it does."

000

The restaurant was cozy, tucked neatly between older establishments. It was charming, really, and it brought in a lot of couples on the weekends. This was not lost on Noir, ever the observant one. As they approached the building, he thought back to Lag's discarded calendar.

Was this his first date idea? How cute.

Lag gulped, heading to the door, holding it for his friend with a smile. "Y-You can choose where we sit."

"Me? But shouldnt that be the girl's choice?" Noir teased, snickering when the boy fumed.

They did find a seat, a small table by a window. Lag sighed happily, the smell of bread a heavenly scent. Noir refrained from picking on the boy, watching him fidget with the menu absently.

"W-What kind did you want? Connor said the pepperoni was really good." Lag supplied, smiling.

It was hard to tease someone so cute, Noir mused. "We can try that."

The boy seemed pleased. A waitress came to the table, a scratchy voice asking, "How can I help you?"

Lag almost dropped his menu, staring at the "woman". That chubby, definitely not a cute girl, that was definitely Connor, wasnt it!? Dressed in an ill fitting dress and apron, with a curly wig, Connor was pretending as if this was a routine thing.

Noir eyed the chubby boy, then Lag. "The pepperoni, please."

Not-a-girl Connor wrote the order down, smiling. "Anything else?"

"Lag, did you want anything else?"

The boy looked between the two, as if he were in a nightmare. "A-Ah um...j-juice..."

"Two juices then!"

Lag watched his fellow Bee waddle off to the kitchen. How did this happen...? Why did it...? Shaking his head, the boy looked to Noir, gaping. Noir smiled back, amused.

"Whats the matter?"

Did no one else see that...?

"Ah...nothing..."

Sighing, the boy cast another glance to the kitchen. That was definitely strange... But he'd just make the best of this, he decided!

Turning his attention back to Noir, he smiled and asked, "So how are things going with Dr. Thunderland Jr? Are you finding anything out?"

The man leaned back in his chair, sighing. "Not really, but its going well enough. We found a frame the other day that didnt seem to fit."

"A frame?"

Nodding, Noir began, "Yeah. Of-"

"Here are your drinks!"

Lag winced, trying not to openly stare as his friend set down the drinks. Connor stood back, clapping like a cute waitress would, smiling. "Are you two out for something special?"

What...?

"A date." Noir supplied, sipping at his juice.

Lag whipped his head around to gape at the man, face beet red. What?!

Not-a-girl Connor cooed, a sound that Lag was sure would haunt him. "Thats cute! Should I get you a shake?"

"Lag, would you like a shake?" came the amused response. That bastard wasnt even trying to hide his amused grin.

"W-Wait one second!" the boy yelped, confused and mortified. "W-What was that just now!"

Connor tutted. "Aww, he's embarrassed~ Maybe you shouldnt tease him so much."

He was going to flip the table, he swore it. What the hell was this! But, just to make sure that his not-a-date strayed even further, another familiar voiced called from the kitchen.

"Connor, get your ass back in here! The pizza is gonna burn!"

What fresh hell was this...? Was that...that couldnt possibly be...

"One minute Zazie, Lag's turning a weird shade of purple!"

000

So the dinner didnt go quite as planned. Noir, merciful for the first time that day, had escorted his friend away from the restaurant when Lag began to foam at the mouth. Lag, to put it lightly, had never been more humiliated before in his entire life.

They'd decided to take a walk instead, feeling that the fresh air might stop Lag's bawling. Noir almost felt bad. "I'm sorry...I didnt think you'd get so upset."

Lag kept his head down, kicking at a stray pebble. "Why'd they do that..."

"I suppose for moral support."

"They failed." Lag muttered, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

Noir fought the urge to snicker. "Connor said he'd give you free pizza for a week."

That was nice of him, Lag thought. He knew it must be killing his friend inside to not eat it himself. Still, Lag was going to eat it all in front of him now. And maybe even drop it when he went to offer some.

Sighing, the boy whined quietly. "That couldnt have gone worse..."

Noir hummed a bit, "I dont think so. It was a fun first date."

There was that word again. Breathing hitching, Lag paused in their walk through the park, staring up at the man. "D-Date...?"

Stopping as well, Noir turned to see the boy who he'd walked by. "Well, wasnt that what it was?"

"B-But how did you...?"

The man blinked. "In your calendar. It said you wanted to go on a pizza date."

Calendar. Calendar. Pizza...date...

"So thats why it wasnt in the sock drawer!" Lag cried, face turning beet red. "You looked through it!"

If Noir was ashamed of himself or embarrassed, he certainly didnt show it. He itched his cheek. "It was by Niche's pants. You asked me to get her a pair and I just found it." taking note of how his little friend's face was turning that shade of purple again, he continued, "But its fine, really. I thought it was...cute."

"C-Cute?"

"Isnt this the part where you ask me for the second date?" the man teased.

"I-Its not funny!" Lag sputtered, covering his face with his hands.

"Did I say it was a joke?"

Peeking between his fingers, the boy searched the man's face for any sign of teasing. The biggest difference, Lag decided, was that Noir teased mercilessly while Gauche was painfully straightforward. It was like a child with a bandaid, Noir just grabbed a thread and tugged until Lag came undone most of the time.

For once though, it didnt seem to be the case. Noir kept a steady, serious gaze on him. Swallowing, Lag felt his heart beat painfully against his ribs. "Y-You...you really want to?"

A smile tugged at the man's lips. "I really do."

Dont cry, dont cry! Sniffling the boy felt a laugh bubble up. "T-Thats really great...!"

Sighing, Noir ruffled his hair. "You cry so much."

"I-I cant help it, I'm just...really happy."

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	26. B7 Yelling

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"yelling"

Chaos truly did follow him. From his exodus from Akatsuki to his mother's attempts to have him delivered to his aunt, nothing good had come of him. Even now, he had ruined everything. His mother had spent her lifes savings on him, Gauche had risked his life during the journey.

And now he was alone. Hiccuping, Lag held himself as he ran. The crowds of people flew by, a blur of color and a collective cacophony. Someone, in the din, called that there was a body in the alley. Another shouted that a Bee was chasing a monster.

Lag felt like he might throw up all the heart he'd just eaten. Gauche was chasing him? He...he was really...

Suddenly, he was airborne. It took a moment for the pain to sear through his stomach and chin as he collided with the rough cobbled road hard. Wheezing, Lag attempted to rise, dazed. Something, it felt like a foot, pressed him down hard.

"We've got it! Hold it down!"

"Careful, it could eat you!"

Quivering, the boy felt blessedly numb. Something had gone through his chest. Fingers shaking, he felt the sticky warmth of blood spread over his loose night shirt. The cotton became heavy, pulling him closer to the cold stone that seemed to suck away his life greedily.

Tears began to track down his cheeks. This was everything his mother had warned him about. Breathing was becoming difficult.

"Let go of him!"

The weight on his back was taken away abruptly. There were shouts of indignation but Lag could barely understand them. The only voice that cleared the fog over his mind, was a familiar one.

"What are you doing? That's a monster!"

"Are you gonna let this thing go?!"

"This is official government business!" the crowds hushed for a moment. "Only authorized persons are allowed to hunt these creatures!"

Murmurs, unsettled grumbling. Lag rolled to his side a bit, feeling sick but wanting to be sure. Gauche, still in his undershirt and lacking socks, stood over him. Roda moved to cover him, and Lag thought she might actually eat someone.

"What are you gonna do?! It killed someone!"

"Yeah! It cant be allowed to go free!"

Fighting to keep his stomach down, Lag wondered if he had enough energy to fight back. The object wedged in his back was carefully removed without warning. Yelping, he fought to stay awake through the pain.

"I'll take care of this. Go back to your business."

000

Gauche let out a long breath, winding a bandage around Lag's upper back. Thank the Empress, that man had no sense of aim. Although, given Lag's physiology, Gauche thought it would take more than a dull knife to kill him.

Lag...

Swallowing, Gauche reminded himself that what he was doing could, if found out, result in termination from work and a lengthy prison sentence. Still, if nothing else, Lag was still a letter. A letter marked "fragile". This was his job.

The boy let out a weak sound, chewing anxiously at his lip. From this angle, Gauche could now clearly see the stone in his eye. A clear sign that he had missed. It cast a soft glow that could be faintly seen through his snowy locks.

"It will be over soon." he soothed, tucking the boy into the bed.

Lag watched him, eye hazy with pain and medicine. "Y-You're not going to...?"

Gauche paused, frowning. "No."

Reaching down, the man began to put away the supplies. He was aware of the ever present gaze on him. As he moved to stand, a light tug on his hand caught him. Glancing over, Gauche felt his heart jump a bit.

Lag's eye, the human one, was startlingly expressive. Confusion and fear fought just below the surface. It was no wonder people feared these creatures so much, Gauche thought. How could someone kill what looked, right then, like a frightened child?

"W-Why...?"

Mulling it over, the man wondered the same. Was it that sweet, frightened child coating that caused him so much conflict? The way Lag smiled or how soft and warm he was? He wasn't sure. He'd always expected something much more monstrous.

"Because you're a letter. Its my job to deliver you safely to your destination."

Chewing his lip, Lag seemed to ponder this. It made no sense. But who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Casting his gaze down, he murmured, "I-I'm sorry...I-I didn't mean for this to..."

Gauche ruffled his hair gently, sighing. "It puts us back a day. But it will be fine."

If Lag was confused, he didn't voice it. Gauche just wanted to get through the delivery. If that meant denying past events right then, that was fine to. Truthfully, Gauche still had no idea what to do. So for now, he'd deal with things as they came.

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	27. K7 Radio

Dun dun dun! The plot not only thickens, but its basically a stew of confusion! I bet you'll all be so happy when things finally get explained C: soon enough~

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"radio"

"Ah, excuse me..."

Gauche watched the man stand, hurrying from the room. He could hear, faintly, the sound of some sort of chaos down the hall. The way Thunderland Jr rushed out, it must have been serious. The door closed hard behind him.

Frowning, Gauche felt a tinge of unease bubble up. He wondered what happened...

From the man's desk, a new looking radio crackled with static. It was smooth and rounded, ornate for something for a doctor, he thought. It buzzed a bit, before a scratchy voice began to echo from it.

"The BeeHive has issued a warning for Central and its surrounding areas to stay indoors!"

An emergency? Confused, Gauche stood and took a step closer. It was cutting out now and then, but he could just understand it.

"...-tack on...thought to be...anti-government group,..."

It suddenly blasted with sound, as if the microphone had been knocked over. There were sounds of gun fire. Chills shot up his spine.

His head ached...

Holding a hand to his head, Gauche sucked in a breath through his teeth. Whether it was the still blaring radio or the just out of reach memory, he wasn't sure. He didn't have to wonder for long though.

The door burst open, startling the man as he turned to see the source. A frantic, wild eyed Lag stood there, panting hard. The boy took one look at him and swallowed, hurrying to him and grabbing his arm, hard.

"W-We have to go!"

Confused, Gauche moved to pull his arm away. "W-What...?"

"We gotta go!" the boy cried, yanking at his sleeve. "M-Momma...momma is out there!"

Gauche didn't know what was going on. The way the boy was staring at him, like he was capable of something frightening, made his stomach lurch. It didn't occur to Gauche that Lag was only 7, what harm could he actually do?

Footsteps pounding on the floor shook him from his thoughts. Lag stiffened and desperately pulled, crying for him to follow. He'd been on the brink of giving in, when Thunderland Jr and several men in long coats stormed in.

Lag turned to look, swallowing hard and hid behind Gauche. "S-Stay away! I-I'll hurt you!"

The men, doctors Gauche thought, paid that warning little mind. Thunderland Jr stepped forward, gesturing gently for the boy to calm down. "Lag, we're not here to hurt you."

"Liars!" the boy shouted, closing his good eye tight. He buried his face in the small of Gauche's back, shaking his head. "You're lying!"

Gauche had never felt so confused in his entire life. Something told him to protect Lag. But from what? These men had never harmed him. This kid was crazy, hadn't he thought that the day he met him?

Against his better judgment, the man took a step back, nudging the boy along with him. The doctor in front of him frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Whats going on?" Gauche countered, swallowing.

"Nothing is going on." Thunderland Jr said, sighing as if this was becoming a chore. "Lag heard about the attacks. He's in a delusional state."

Something told him that Lag really was crazy. The talking about magic, following him, talking as if they were friends, it was all out of control. Who was to say this was any different?

Who was to say Lag was crazy though...? Could he live with himself if he let this unbalanced child be harmed...?

"Wherever he's going, I'm going." Gauche said, firm and without any room for debate.

A silence hung between the two men, broken only by Lag's watery sniffling. Gauche thought, for a wild moment, that they'd just open fire on the two of them. The doctor sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead tiredly.

"If that's what you want."

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	28. M7 Giftwrap

Sylvette is one of my favorite characters Xwx It shows, I think...

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"gift wrap"

The sun was beginning to set and Gauche was still searching for a gift. The shops were starting to close up, merchants pulling the shutters to the windows down and wiping down displays. Sighing as the last shop closed up, the man hung his head.

Lag's birthday was in a day. He'd been invited to the party, with an invitation that seemed to plead that he come.

Anxiety flooded his chest. It wasn't that Gauche didn't _want_ to go, really...it was just that...

Inappropriate feelings arose around the boy. The urge to grab him up and hug him tight, to kiss him, more... they terrified Gauche. And not much actually scared the world weary man. He'd faced bandits in the Blue Pumpkin Mountains, been near the brink of starvation with no gas reserves, even been bitten by poisonous insects in the White Desert.

And yet, falling in love was by far the most terrifying thing he'd ever encountered.

Was it love...?

Not that Gauche was any expert or anything, but loving someone so young seemed...well, out of the ordinary. Maybe Aria or Thunderland Jr might now...but asking something so conspicuous was...

Shaking his head, the man frowned. He was ruining a friendship with a broken child over his insecurities and unhealthy affections. This was wrong. He absolutely could not do this to Lag. Lag needed him to be his friend, who kept his well being in mind and took care of him. He absolutely did not need a creep stepping to him.

000

Sylvette glanced up at her brother as he entered the house, frowning. He'd returned a bit late, not unusual for him, but concerning as of late. Gauche hadn't been himself these last months. Sylvette wasn't a genius, but she had noticed that it coincided with the last time he'd seen Lag.

"Welcome home brother!" she called, putting aside her worries.

Gauche glanced up from undoing his uniform, smiling warmly. "Sorry I'm late..."

Shaking her head, Sylvette rolled her chair to him, smiling. "Its fine. I have dinner warming in the oven, are you hungry?"

She could see the exhaustion shed from her brother's frame at the mention of food. "I'd like that."

000

The fire crackled softly in the hearth. Sylvette hummed to herself quietly as she did the finishing touches on the set of dolls she was making. Gauche had long since gone to bed, exhaustion from the day winning the battle. Still, she had things to do before the party tomorrow.

She hadn't seen Lag or their friends since that summer and she wanted to spend as much time with her friends as possible tomorrow. She'd told her brother that they'd share their gift, since he _had_ let her use his photo of the group as a reference.

It sat neatly in her lap, a glossy photo of the last time they'd met. Sylvette and Lag in the forefront, Gauche behind with the two holding his hands. On either side of them stood Zazie and Connor, Niche clinging to Lag's arm possessively. Bright toothy smiles sat on the children's faces, a warm memory even now.

Sylvette hadn't seen her brother smile quite that way in a long time. It was no secret that something had blossomed between her brother and Lag, she thought. It seemed the only people unaware were the two themselves.

It was almost comical, the girl thought, watching them fumble around each other these days. But whatever had happened, it hadn't ended for the better. And Sylvette _missed_ her friends and the way her brother always seemed so happy.

She was just relieved that, for better or worse, Lag had tried to remedy the distance.

Laying the finished dolls in a box, the girl smiled to herself. At least now, things might go back to normal. Tying a thick ribbon around the box, she hummed to herself. Things could only go up from here, right?

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	29. C8 Family

So I was having thoughts and now its ridiculously off canon timeline wise, but shhhhh it'll be fun. Maybe.

Thank you so much to everyone whose reviewed and followed and fav'ed this! its really wonderful to wake up to alerts like that~

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"family"

"You'll really like Auntie, really!" Lag insisted, walking down the familiar cobble stone road.

Noir had a feeling that it wasn't so much much himself that Lag was worried about liking this mysterious aunt. Still, it was interesting to see the boy's home town. It was...quaint. A welcome from the crowded streets of Yusari Central.

Lag had a delivery to the town, a convenient excuse for Noir to tag along and spend more time with his little boyfriend. The word made his heart speed up just a bit. As they closed in on the small two story house, a dog began to bark frantically in the window.

The boy winced, wondering if the dog would still steal his shoes...

Sabrina was at the door before they'd even knocked, sweeping Lag into a bone crushing hug. It looked painful, Noir mused, but the boy was laughing happily and hugging her back tight.

"Auntie..."

"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon!" the woman said, tightening the hold. "What brings you here? Have you eaten? You're still so thin..."

Lag's smile never wavered, letting the woman fuss over him. "I'm here on a delivery. But I wanted to introduce you to someone!"

For the first time in the entire encounter, the woman seemed to notice Noir. Turning her gaze on him, the woman blinked a few times before recognition lit her face. She stepped closer to see the man, as if he were a ghost.

"Is this the same Bee who delivered you?" she asked, turning to see Lag.

The boy stepped around them, smiling. "Yeah. This is..." he faltered, realizing that Sabrina didn't know about Noir.

Noir glanced between the two, coughing into his hand. "My name is Noir."

Sabrina raised an eyebrow, realizing that something was off. This was definitely her adopted son's idol, but Noir hadn't been the name she'd heard the boy babble on and on about. The man resisted the urge to squirm under the scrutiny.

"Well, Noir, its good to have you." the woman said, face breaking into a friendly grin.

Lag relaxed visibly, before Noir followed him with a quiet sigh of relief. Sabrina stepped aside, ushering the two into the house. "You two must be exhausted, c'mon in! I was just making lunch."

Noir felt distinctly out of place in such a warm and homey place. Photographs of Lag and his aunt were placed here and there, as well as a few with his mother. There was a delicious scent from the kitchen and a tug at his shoe.

Looking down, he locked eyes with a chubby pug. The dog was tugging stubbornly at his boot laces and the man had the urge to kick it. An exasperated sigh left Lag, who shooed the dog away.

"You're still a trouble maker..." he mutter, as the dog promptly sneezed at him.

Sabrina laughed, heading for the kitchen. The two kicked off their shoes and shrugged off their jackets and bags. After a long trip, it felt good to relax. Lag didn't need to be told to go wash up, tugging Noir's hand gently towards the bathroom.

It was definitely fascinating to be physically present in the house he'd only seen in Lag's memories. Although he could do without the way Sabrina eyed him from across the table, as if he were some strange creature that she hadn't yet decided if he was dangerous or not. Lag chattered happily to his aunt, eating like he'd never had a meal before.

Swallowing down his mouthful of soup, the boy glanced between the two of them, before smiling with just a touch of anxiety. "I had some news."

Sabrina blinked, lifting her head from her hand. "News?"

Oh no. Noir felt his stomach sink, and nearly choked on his bread as Lag happily announced, "Noir and I are a c-couple."

A silence hung over the table. Noir felt like he was watching the woman's face fall in slow motion, as she looked between them in a confused daze. Had she really heard right? Lag's smile stayed firmly put but Noir felt like he might throw up his lunch. This definitely wasn't going well.

Instead of the fury he expected, the woman seemed to approach the topic gingerly. "Lag...aren't you a bit, ah...young to be dating?"

The boy blinked owlishly, as if he had just now considered that maybe 12 really wasn't the age to be engaging in passionate love affairs. Itching his cheek, the boy responded, "Well...a bit...but I love him." he said with more courage and conviction than Noir thought possible. "And I don't want to wait, not when the future is so unsure..."

Hearing the words always made the man's heart beat a bit faster. Hearing Lag admit this, proudly at that, to his aunt, was a surreal and wonderfully touching feeling. Admittedly, he'd really rather not be the target of the woman's ire, but he'd go through it a dozen times just to hear that statement again.

Sighing, Sabrina rubbed her forehead tiredly. Noir suspected that she'd had more frustrating discussions with the boy before. "Well, when you put it that way, I'm the one that sounds crazy..."

Lag let out a little laugh, a nervous smile forming. "B-But I wanted you to meet him, since we were passing through..."

Sabrina leveled the man with an imposing look, appraising him more seriously than before. He struggled not to swallow back the lump in his throat. "Well, he doesn't seem like a bad person. I guess... I can try to see it."

Noir felt the breath escape him, relief nearly crushing. The woman couldn't help letting out a laugh at his obvious anxiety. Lag was amazed Sabrina hadn't actually outright rejected the relationship. Memories of the last time he'd visited with Roda returned to him, and Lag felt a smile form.

Of course she wouldn't, he thought.

000

The remainder of the visit was fairly relaxed, the three finishing lunch before being drilled on their relationship. When she was sufficiently sure that her precious child wasn't being corrupted and that Noir wasn't some crazy rapist, they moved onto other things.

Once she'd passed along a few recipes for Sylvette and they'd sufficiently caught up, she allowed the two to take their leave. With many teary farewells, the two made their way to their original destination.

All in all, Noir supposed there had definitely been worse ways that could have gone. He was glad though, that he got to meet part of Lag's family. He hoped Anne wouldn't be nearly as intimidating.

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	30. B8 Bandaids

Wooooaaaah so this was a giant leap? 8D;;; but! It'll be fun, i'm sure!

Warning: ideologically sensitive themes

rating: T?

Hopefully its worth the wait?

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"bandaids"

Putting as much distance between the town and themselves was Gauche's number one goal right then. It was a short term solution, sure, but it was the best bet if they wanted to stay alive. Sighing, the man paused on an outcrop of stone, looking to the bright star in the distance.

How had this happened...?

It made sense now why Anne Seeing had wanted her son to be taken away from Rengus, and it made sense now why no one wanted to go near the house. Even without proof, the villagers had been aware that something wasn't right about the family. Maybe he should have taken that distrust to heart...

Roda barked, catching Gauche's attention. Glancing to her, he felt his stomach flip flop. Lag was having trouble climbing the steep hill, clutching his shoulder weakly. Even from up above him, Lag's heavy breathing was audible.

"Whats wrong? Is your wound hurting you?" the man called, already on his way down to make sure his charge wasn't dying.

Glancing up, the boy smiled weakly. "I-Its nothing...I'm sorry to slow you down."

Gauche carefully peeled back the sticky fabric of Lag's shirt, wincing as the hot sticky blood seeped through his thick gloves. "You're bleeding. Let me see."

Lag gulped, shifting so that the man could access the wound. No matter what they did, the wound refused to heal even minutely. While this puzzled Gauche, it was obvious to Lag why this happened. He was almost empty of heart. No heart, no healing. He'd used most of it just to stay alive after that encounter a night ago.

As strong and thick as his armor was, it had gaps. The man who'd stabbed him had, by chance, pierced that gap. Now, unable to stop the flow of blood, Lag was forced to use up the stored heart he'd eaten to try to stay alive long enough to make it to his aunt. She'd know what to do.

Wincing as Gauche tied a new set of bandages around him, Lag prayed he lasted that long. Sighing, he tried to stand, clenching his teeth as pain knocked him nearly on his ass. Watching the boy, Gauche frowned. They'd never get to Cambel Litus at this rate.

"Here, get on..." the man said, turning so his back was to Lag.

Blinking owlishly, the boy nodded dumbly. He climbed onto the man's back, tightening his grip on the worn fabric of Gauche's uniform as the man stood and adjusted his hold on him carefully. He began to climb the steep hill, surprisingly without much trouble.

The constant movement made Lag's back and chest ache, but this beat struggling on the ground. Beside them, Roda darted up the hill easily and waited at the top for them, a burst of white in the darkness.

"Thank you..." the boy murmured, resting his forehead against the fabric of Gauche's shoulder.

Gauche didn't reply for a moment, pausing only when they reached the crest of the hill. All around them were bright stars in the expansive night sky. All alone in the darkness, Lag felt his heart constrict, the wide open emptiness seeming to suck away his breath.

"Its nothing. Its my job. I'll make sure you get to Cambel Litus, no matter what."

Something about the way he'd said that, told Lag that he really meant it. It was a job, but that didn't make the promise mean any less to the boy. No one had ever been so kind, so accepting after seeing his wretched nature, save for his mother and aunt.

Lag could smell the heart wafting from the man, a dizzying scent. He could tell it was the heart of a warm, kind hearted person. The same scent that sent his mind buzzing when he slept or stood too near the man.

000

Lag's condition was worsening by the night. The wound no longer clotted, the boy's breathing was becoming labored and rattled in his chest. Even on Gauche's back, Lag struggled to stay conscious, much less securely situated.

They'd stopped in a narrow little cave, partly to wait out the storm and partly because Gauche feared that the boy wouldn't make it through the next leg of their journey. He'd set the boy on the ground, wrapped in his coat with his scarf as a pillow, but his shivering hadn't subsided.

Gauche was scouring the thick copy of his Gaichu manual, searching for anything to figure out how to save his little letter. The section on Lag's kind was abnormally small. But he did, however, find one solution.

Swallowing, the man glanced at Lag. His face was beaded with sweat and he was barely conscious. Gauche could just see a sliver of hazel beneath the boy's thick lashes. A lovely sight under normal circumstances, but frightening now. He didn't have the luxury to wait.

Gently, he shook the boy. Lag groaned, eye opening with a few dazed blinks. Glancing at the man, he fought to think past the pain and exhaustion. "W-What is it...?"

"Can you control yourself?" Gauche asked quietly.

"W-What...?" Control? What?

Swallowing, the man gathered his courage. "If I let you feed off of me. Can you control yourself?"

Food. Hunger wracked his slight frame, his entire body shrieking to him to just eat the man whole. No, Lag thought, swimming through his thoughts, no he was offering out of the goodness of his heart. Swallowing thickly, the boy considered the offer.

He couldn't He'd never been able to. It had lead to their current situation. But...but he didn't want to hurt Gauche. He didn't want to kill him.

"I-I can t-try..." he murmured, voice raspy.

That wasn't comforting. But...what else did he have to try? Closing his eyes, Gauche rolled his sleeve up, the cotton feeling scratchy on his exposed skin suddenly. The cold bit at him, reminding him that he was offering a meal to a starving, dying creature.

Lag took one look at the man's thick forearm and felt his stomach flip flop. Glancing to the man, suddenly hyper aware, he nodded.

Gauche closed his eyes, not wanting to see the process. Just reading about it turned his stomach. The sounds were hard to ignore though. As the feelers emerged, Gauche felt his skin crawl. He could hear the way they snaked out of the boy's mouth, dripping with a viscous fluid that had some form of evolutionary advantage or another.

It was almost possible to stay completely calm, until he felt the feelers wrap around his arm. They were _cold_ , he thought, wincing as he felt the tiny teeth that lined the underside begin to saw at his skin. At first there was a sharp pain, before the area they touched became uncomfortably numb. Still, it was impossible to ignore the weight and the way the slick feelers tightened around his arm.

Reading about something rarely was the same as experiencing it. Gauche was expecting to feel exhausted, to feel dazed and dizzy. He didn't expect to _feel_ the heart drain from his body. The fast paced flow as the fluid raced through his veins was more than dizzying.

Wheezing, the man felt like something was crushing his chest. Small, chilly hands grasped at his shirt and tugged at him, powerful and easily forcing him to move against his will. Opening his eyes, startled, the man felt his heart clench.

The boy who'd been a docile as a sheep earlier looked terrifying now. Blood dripped freely from Gauche's arm, much of it coating Lag's chubby cheeks. Diagrams didn't give justice to the way the feelers poured from his wide open mouth, or how they pulsed with each suck at his heart. Gauche thought he could see the heart as it flowed through him. The crowning feature, he thought, was the unnatural glow behind Lag's snowy bangs.

Suddenly, it felt impossible to breathe. Somewhere, distantly, Gauche could hear Roda barking loudly. Why wasn't Lag stopping? Hadn't he had enough yet? Fumbling with his tired and aching free hand, Gauche shook the boy. A hand easily pushed his away, pinning it.

"L-Lag...Y-You're going to...!" he tried to call.

Words suddenly began to leave his memory. So did motor function, really. It took more energy to just keep thinking than he'd ever expended in his life, it felt like. Lag wasn't going to stop, he thought dimly.

He heard a sharp cry, and suddenly the feelers retracted rapidly from his arm. Panting hard, Gauche struggled to focus on the source of the cry. Roda had bitten Lag's arm, he realized distantly. The boy was startled into reality with the sudden pain, seeming to just now understand what had nearly happened.

"G-Gauche!"

Gauche had enough time to see the look of horror blossom over Lag's face, before pitching forward. Everything went black.

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	31. K8 Presence

So this ones a bit gruesome if you knew the background to how this fic even became a thing. Which you'll start to understand as the story continues, but to give a hint, it was partially based on a recent-ish kidnapping.

Warnings: ideologically sensitive themes!

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"presence"

Money, Gauche mused, was an amazing thing. This fortress looked like it was a palace, once upon a time. Tall french windows lined the hall that he was currently walking along. A heavy stack of boxes teetered in his hands as he fought to keep them from tumbling down.

So far, it'd been a good choice to come to Blue Notes Blues. They'd promised room, board and ample pay, and Gauche was pleased to say they'd delivered. At only ten, he was doing pretty good for an orphan.

I can definitely go home soon, he thought happily.

It was frigid, but worth the cold and pain. This part of the fortress though, was a toasty warm. Must be where the owner lives, he thought. It _looked_ like a palace. Surely it belonged to someone powerful, someone rich.

Suddenly, there was a startled gasp as he stumbled into someone. The boxes pitched forward, clattering noisily to the ground. A few spilled open, the contents tumbling to rest at a pair of dainty feet. Gauche stared down at the mess, panic swelling in his chest, before a gentle voice called to him.

"Are you okay?"

Looking up quickly, Gauche found himself awe struck. The woman before him looked like a goddess. Long, silky cornflower hair fell in graceful ribbons down her back and shoulders, framing a thin, lovely face. A delicate hand rested lightly over her swelling stomach.

She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Pounding foot steps echoed around them and, suddenly, Gauche was grabbed up by powerful hands. Startled, he looked around frantically, the awe shattered. The woman gasped and raised a hand to stop them, as a slim man stepped ahead of her.

"What happened?" the man, a slim, snake like person, asked.

Swallowing, Gauche fought to find the words. "I-I..."

The man took one look around the hall, at the scattered valuables, and sighed. Without a word, the guards began to haul the boy away. Looking between them, then to the woman, Gauche found his voice.

"W-Wait! I-I didn't mean anything!"

No one listened. The last time he saw that beautiful woman, she was watching him in open horror.

000

A chain connected the two by the ankle, preventing either from moving. Not that Gauche could see Lag. They were separated by a thin wall, the chain snaked through the baseboard. It was frigid. The metal burned where it rested against his ankle.

Sighing, the man let his head thunk against the chilly wall. Through the wall, he could hear Lag's quiet sniffling, could feel every tug of the chain. Even when the boy wasn't in the room, he could feel his presence in some way or another.

How had this happened?

Memories, like snow flurries, drifted slowly through his mind. Memories of frigid winters, the cell, Lag's vibrant sepia eye watching him through the slot in a door. Ever present, was that painful cold that seeped into his bones.

Thunderland Jr had locked them up, promising to let them out when things calmed down. That had been hours ago, and the sounds of sirens outside hadn't faded yet. Gauche wondered if they'd ever leave.

"G-Gauche...?"

Blinking, the man glanced at the wall. Lag's voice was scratchy and weak. "Yes?"

It was quiet for a moment. "I-I'm scared..."

His heart ached. Closing his eyes, the man sighed to himself. "Don't be. We'll be out soon."

"I-I wanna go home...I w-wanna see my mom..."

He didn't know what to say. The silence hung between them for a long time. There was a gentle tug at the chain and he blinked. The tug came again. Gauche tugged back. The tugging stopped. It didn't take but a moment to realize that Lag had been trying to get his attention. To make sure Gauche was still there, still aware of him.

Swallowing, the man said, quietly, "We'll find her."

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	32. M8 Heart Beat

Oh boy finally! The cute stuff you all thought would never happen! I had both a lot of fun and was really uncomfortable writing this, primarily cuz i've never really written gauche/lag before Xwx but it was fun!

Warnings: ideologically sensitive themes! Shota, possibly ooc

onward!

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"heart beat"

"You'll be fine, brother. Relax." Sylvette soothed, glancing at her brother.

Gauche had been parked down the road from Lag's house for aproximately fifteen minutes, finding any number of reasons to postpone the party. It wasnt hard to see that the man was nervous, although he snapped from his thoughts at Sylvette's prompt.

"I'm fine..."he mumbled, embarrassed to be read so easily.

A smile tugged at the girl's lips. "Then why dont we get going? Connor is going to eat everything if we wait much longer."

Gauche smiled and set about getting his sister out of the beat up old mail truck. Even though he was smiling, Sylvette could see his unease a mile away. She supposed she didnt blame him. The two made their way to the house at a slow pace, even still.

Even from outside, the two could hear Connor's frantic cries of, "Zazie no! Tell your cats to get away from my pizza!"

Glancing up at her brother, the girl smiled. "Looks like things are already started."

Gauche swallowed, drying his hands against the insides of his shirt cuffs. "Yeah."

The girl eyed the man for a long moment, waiting to see if he was going to knock or if she should. She was about to just do it herself when the door flung open, a frantic Connor darting out and around them with a plate of pizza.

"No! No go away you awful things!"

A trail of cats gave chase. Zazie was cackling inside, a few cats sitting on his shoulders. The absurdity of the situation was overshadowed by a worried Lag, who came barreling out after his fleeing friend.

"Connor wait! You can have more pizza!" he cried.

Unlike Connor, a natural born escapist, Lag ran full on into his newest guests, yelping and stumbling. Gauche reacted on instinct, reaching out to steady the boy. That brief contact was enough to stun him, a burst of butterflies infesting his belly. Startled, the boy turned his gaze upwards and froze. Their eyes met, a flurry of emotions surging through them.

Swallowing hard, Gauche forced himself to speak. "Are you okay?"

The spell broken, Lag felt his breath catch in his throat. So many thoughts raced through his mind, so many needs warring with each other. Frustration and relief pooled in his stomach, hot tears stinging his eyes.

"Y-You really showed up...!" he wailed, hugging the man tight.

Gauche gasped quietly as the boy buried his face in his stomach, sobbing as if he'd been told his dog had died. Hesitantly, he gently carded his fingers through the boy's hair.

"Y-Yeah...I did."

He wasnt privy to the knowing smile that tugged at the edges of Sylvette's lips.

000

Tension melted away as if there hadnt been months of no communication. The three of them talked and joked as if they had never skipped a beat, playing with their friends. Even though Lag's aunt was watching him like some sort of criminal, Gauche had to say that he missed these warm parties.

Lag was thrilled by Sylvette's gift, marveling at the small details and jeweled eyes. Zazie's cats especially liked them, stealing them constantly. It resulted in goofy chases around the house, and eventually became a game between Zazie and Lag.

Dusk fell over the town and the party had to end however, prompting the children to head home. Lag bid them farewell at the door, smiling wide as he waved at the slowly shrinking backs of his friends. He turned back to the livingroom, smiling wide at his remaining two guests.

His aunt was teaching Sylvette how to cook a new dish, their voices drifting lazily through the kitchen. Gauche remained in the livingroom, looking out of place in the warm and comfortable room. The boy took a seat next to his friend, his bright smile never fading.

Blinking, the man turned to look at his little friend. Lag looked adorable when he beamed like that, he mused. "Its been a while since I saw a cat outwit Connor."

"He lost half a pizza, thats impressive!"

"I wonder how they know how to target him." Gauche mused aloud, tapping his chin in thought.

Lag shrugged, "I think Zazie trains them."

From inside the kitchen, they heard laughter float through the air. Pausing to listen, Lag felt his mind calm. Turning his gaze to the man next to him, he felt the familiar burst of butterflies fill his belly. It felt so out of place to be this down right giddy.

Gauche, noticing the soft gaze, felt his stomach turn. "Is there something on my face...?"

"Ah? No..." Lag laughed nervously, itching his cheek. "I was just...wondering, why you vanished for so long..."

The drop in mood was almost a physical chill in the room. Of course he wants to know, Gauche thought, he had every right to wonder. Turning his attention to the kitchen, he debated telling the truth. It would be too hard to lie to Lag's face.

"I...was having problems." Gauche admitted, attempting to skirt the issue. "I didnt think it was smart to involve you."

Lag's face fell, worry clouding his vibrant sepia eyes. "What happened? Was it..." was it _my_ fault?

Gauche heard the unspoken words, cringing. Lag deserved honesty. But...this wasnt something he knew how to say. Sabrina's voice drifted from the kitchen, making his stomach turn. No, talking about this here wouldnt be wise.

"Can...we talk about this elsewhere?"

000

Lag climbed the steep hill easily, pausing at the crest to admire the view of the ports. From the hills the surrounded the town, he could see for miles. The setting sun cast the exposed red rocks in shades of gold and rust. It shone in his hair like glitter, catching the individual strands.

He was far more beautiful than any ocean view, Gauche thought, breathless. Swallowing back the pressure in his throat, the man made his way up the steep incline to stand next to the boy. Lag chewed his lip anxiously, glancing to him.

"This is the most private place I can think of." Lag said, a small smile on his face. "So we can talk here easy."

Easy. Easy for him to say, Gauche mourned. Taking a seat on a boulder, the man heaved a sigh. How to begin...

Lag sat next to him, hopping up with a huff. "Its okay...if you just say it." he offered, smile nervous. "If its...its my f-fault..."

The telltale signs of a soon to be crying boy caused the man to sigh, ruffling his hair gently. "Its not your fault."

"Then...why...?"

The ache in Lag's voice tore at him. Honesty, he reminded himself. "Its...because of me. I've been...having thoughts lately."

He could almost hear the gears spinning in Lag's head as the boy fought to understand. He really was precious...

Running a hand through his bangs, Gauche searched for a diplomatic way to say it. "Thoughts about...y-you."

This time, Lag caught on faster than expected. "M-Me? L-Like...?"

A nod.

There was a heavy silence. The sounds of the nearby ocean waves lapping at the jagged rocks of the coast line echoed in what Gauche thought must have been eternity. He hates me. He's disgusted. _I'm_ disgusting. He'll never speak to me again-

"I-Is that really it?" a nervous chuckle escaped the boy, before it became a giddy laugh.

Blinking owlishly, Gauche turned to look at the boy quizzically. "W-Wha...?"

Lag's face was beet red, big dewy tears threatening to fall. But he looked like he'd been relieved of something that weighed heavily on his shoulders. It was Gauche's turn to be confused beyond belief.

"I-I thought...I-I thought I did something really bad...!" Lag hiccuped, his laughter quickly turning into little sobs. "I-I thought y-you h-hated me!"

Guilt drenched the man. "What could you have done? Dont be silly." he said, gathering the boy up and pulling him into a gentle hug.

Burrying his face in his friend's chest, Lag felt for the first time in those long months, that everything would be okay. "I-I just..." he had been so afraid. The more time that had passed, the more he began to worry that somehow Gauche had seen those deep, strange feelings he brought out in him and rejected them.

"You're the only person who'd cry over a confession..." Gauche teased, a small smile forming.

Lag sniffled pathetically, turning his head up to see the man. "I-I'm not a crybaby!"

Snickering, he pressed a kiss to the sniveling boy's forehead. "I never said you were."

If at all possible, Lag's face heated even further. The sun's last rays caught the boy's messy face, reminding him of that crybaby he'd picked up all those years ago. Snotty and sticky or not, the man pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

The sniffles stopped briefly and Gauche reveled in the way the boy's hands tightened in his shirt. He hoped they never let go.

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	33. C9 Mug

Ohoho pre-cabernet oneshots about zazie and lag, what're the odds! ….actually fairly high considering what the background is, but!

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"mug"

There were days when it felt hard to get out of bed. Everyone had those days. Lag had those days a bit more often than most these days, though. Still, he had to push himself to get through his tasks, or what he'd worked so hard for would be for nothing.

There were a few different kinds of hard days. The days when he was exhausted from work, such as after a particularly taxing delivery. On those days, he just went right to sleep. There were days when he didn't feel like braving the chilly night air, no matter how snugly he was wrapped in a scarf. And there were days when hunting for Gauche drained everything Lag had.

On these particular days, Zazie did his best to distract his friend. If they were paired for the delivery, he'd talk about his cats and which ones were new. Or about how Thunderland Jr had found a cure for some feline disease. Anything really. Lag usually listened with a patient smile, but it was better than that quiet, dead stare at the ground.

If they weren't at work, Zazie enlisted Connor or Niche or anyone around to help him. Comforting people wasn't the cat boy's strong suit, but for Lag, he'd do his best. Usually by the time they all went home, the exhausted and melancholy look would be gone from the boy's eye.

And for the days when the look didn't abate, Zazie stayed late. Today was one such day. Sitting in front of the hearth, the boy looked oddly more melancholy in the warm glow of the fire. Approaching the boy, Zazie pondered how such a tiny kid could look so old. Maybe it was the lighting.

"Here, milk tea."

Blinking out of his stupor, Lag took the cup with a smile. "Thanks Zazie. You didn't have to..."

He waved a hand, plopping down next to his friend. "Its nothing."

They sat in the quietness of the night, sipping at their warm mugs of tea slowly. A log cracked in the fire. Glancing at his friend from the corner of his eye, Zazie felt particularly uneasy. Honey Waters had been hard on Lag.

"You should probably sleep." he ventured.

Lag offered him a tired smile. "I'm fine."

It occurred to the cat boy that his friend might be avoiding his bed. It was no secret why he did, Zazie wasn't sure he could have the strength to sleep in the bed of his lost idol. Although, something told him there was more to Gauche and Lag than just idol worship. But that was something he hadn't asked Lag about. Some things were just better not to ask about.

Sighing, the raven haired youth got more comfortable in his spot on the couch. He'd be there for a while it seemed. Time was inconsequential on these sorts of nights. A gentle weight settled against his shoulder, startling the boy from his thoughts.

Turning his attention to his side, he found a tuft of silvery hair obscuring his view. Lag kept his gaze on the fire, the dark rings around his eye far too pronounced at this angle. Zazie couldn't help but notice the way he flushed.

"Hey..."

"J-Just for right now." the boy mumbled.

Blinking, the cat boy felt an easy grin form. This, he could do. Wrapping an arm around his friend's smaller form, Zazie pulled him closer. Lag was a comfortable weight and warmth against his side. A warmth that he found himself craving these days, ever since the boy had first turned to him for comfort.

They stayed that way for a long time, neatly folded against one another. At some point, Lag had dozed off and forgotten his tea. Zazie pried it away gently from his hand, setting it on the table. As he moved to settle back down, the boy nuzzled into his neck and mumbled quietly in his sleep.

A surge of jealousy raced through his chest, as his friend breathed out a soft "Gauche". His arm tightened around Lag. Chewing his lip, Zazie reminded himself of why exactly his friend sought comfort in friendly cuddling.

He could never truly forgive Gauche. The man was a monster, to leave behind such a precious person. Zazie just wished Lag saw the man for what he was.

Sighing quietly, the boy closed his eyes and counted to ten. It didn't matter. He was going to be here for Lag, regardless of his desire for more than platonic cuddling and hand holding. And maybe someday, if the boy ever became sick of chasing after the phantom of a man long gone, he might be able to bring himself to tell Lag how he actually felt.

But tonight was not that night, Zazie thought, glancing at the clock. Lag needed to be woken up to go to his bed, but the cat boy couldn't bring himself to wake the boy just yet. Just a bit more, he promised himself.

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	34. B9 Human

This took ridiculously long, primarily because I didnt know how the fuck to even begin to continue. But! Its not so bad 8D;;; maybe. eh.

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"human"

The world swam into view the way that sunlight filtered through deep water. At first, Gauche couldn't put words to the world that he'd awoken in. Everything felt absent, like the words didn't exist and neither did the memories attached to them.

Soft hiccups and sobs met his ears, but he couldn't find the energy to turn his head to see where they came from. A warm weight was settled against his side, soft and fluffy feeling where it touched his skin.

He blinked and the world became dark again. When next he opened his eyes, the ceiling was bright with shades of orange, the crackling of a fire soothing him into a state of wakefulness. This time, the words came to him. He could put a name to the things he saw and smelled.

Pressing the heel of his palm to his eyes, Gauche fought to remember what happened. There was...blood. Someone was bleeding. And they were sick, they needed him. Panic began to build in his chest. Were they okay?

"Y-You're awake!" a nasal voice called, the relief nearly palpable.

Whatever the owner of the voice had been holding, it fell to the ground with a hearty plop as the sound of frantic foot steps came closer and closer. A boy skidded to his knees to Gauche's side, small and heaving for breath, as if he'd run a mile. He was filthy.

"Y-You're r-really okay..." the boy stammered, his eye welling up.

A name came to mind, as did the memories attached to that name. Gauche felt his stomach turn and he might have run away, if he hadn't noticed how exhausted and relieved the boy looked. As if he hadn't slept a bit since he'd fed off of him.

As if just now noticing how the man was watching him, Lag swallowed thickly. "I-I brought you food! R-Roda helped me catch it, to. I-I'll cook it for you, don't you worry! And you'll get better in no time!"

Gauche watched Lag stand and hurry back to grab whatever he'd dropped, surprised. A small part of him had expected the boy to eat him and be done. But he supposed that didn't really fit who Lag was as a person.

Letting his head fall back to the ground, the man wondered how long he'd been out. Must have been at least a day. Sitting up slowly, he groaned as his bones creaked and his muscles complained loudly. Sleeping on the stone seemed particularly punishing this time around.

A soft whine caught his attention, before a tongue met his cheek. Blinking, Gauche smiled tiredly, lifting a hand to pet Roda gently. "Hey there, girl."

Roda gave a content huff, tail wagging as she supported her front paws on his leg. She looked particularly exhausted, he noted sadly. His faithful Dingo laid in his lap, closing her eyes in contentment. She must have been a wreck when he'd passed out.

The scent of cooking meat stirred Gauche from his thoughts, turning his attention to Lag and the little fire he'd made. The boy had caught a decent sized lizard and had it cooking in the flames, the skin charring. It sent pangs of hunger through the man's stomach and he struggled to keep back the groan that accompanied it.

Glancing over, Lag gave a weak smile. "I-It'll be done soon."

Brushing back his bangs, Gauche eyed the sky. "How long have I been out...?"

At first, it seemed like Lag wasn't going to answer him. Worrying his lip, the boy shrugged weakly. "A day or two?"

That was to be expected, he supposed. Sighing, Gauche turned his attention to his arm. It was wrapped neatly and blessedly numb. This, he knew was a side effect of the boy's saliva. A hybrid Gaichu wasn't meant to strike so openly, stealth was important for survival. One couldn't very well feed off the vulnerable if they caused pain.

And, saliva or no, that had been hellish. It wasn't a sensation Gauche ever wanted to experience again. It brought back the memory though, of the boy's wound.

"Hows your wound doing...?" he questioned, debating laying back down.

Lag seemed surprised, glancing back at his stained and tattered jacket. "Oh...its healed. Y-Your Heart was just what I needed." the boy gave a small, grateful smile.

It occurred to Gauche that maybe Lag really did appreciate the sacrifice. If a hybrid could experience anything to begin with. He still wasn't sure what to believe. Sighed, he pushed himself to lean against the rough stone wall, closing his eyes.

"That's good...I wasn't sure if that would work."

He could feel the boy's trained on him, could sense that there was more to be said. Whatever was going on in the child's mind, he couldn't seem to voice it. Looking back to the slowly cooking lizard, Lag let a tired smile tug at his lips.

"I really appreciate it...I-I'm really glad you took that chance."

The man closed his eyes, drained of energy despite just waking up. "Its nothing. You're someone's important letter, its the least I could do."

Lag didn't respond. He turned the lizard over in the flames, worrying his lip. Even though he'd just eaten, the boy felt hunger rise as the scent of Gauche's kind, warm heart drifted across the room. It was hard to be around him, when he was so kind.

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	35. K9 Promise

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"promise"

Panting, Gauche turned a corner and swore quietly when he came to another locked door. Behind him, Lag was trembling, little legs having a difficult time keeping up with their harried pace. Muttering, the man tugged at the boy's hand and headed down another hallway.

The BeeHive was alight with chaos, sounds of footsteps pounding on the linoleum and voices echoing off of the walls. They didn't have much time to make their escape. They'd find the unconscious doctors soon.

"G-Gauche..." Lag called, stumbling as they hurried along. "W-Where are we going...?"

Glancing over his shoulder, the man did his best to sound confident. "We're looking for a stair well. You remember the one, where they let us go to the garden?"

The boy nodded, worrying his lip. Gauche smiled, or tried to. "That's where we're heading."

Or they would be, if every door they'd come across hadn't been locked or guarded. A couple of unsuspecting doctors was one thing, but there was no way they could get past armed guards. As it was, Lag was a wreck from their initial escape attempt.

It hadn't taken more than a few well placed hits to take down the two doctors who'd come to his side of the cell, but saving Lag had been...rough. His hands still ached from holding the chain so tight around the man's neck.

Shaking his head, he reminded himself to be vigilant. Keeping to the wall, Gauche glanced around a corner. The door was unguarded, a small miracle. It should, if he remembered right, lead to the examination floor and there should be an employee only stairwell that lead out and to the back of the building.

Sucking in a breath, he glanced at Lag. The boy was worse for wear. Not physically, because he'd made sure that the boy was unharmed before they fled, but mentally he wasn't doing well. If they had to run or hide, or Empress forbid, be separated, he feared that Lag wouldn't make it.

Still, what could he do?

Making his way towards the door, Gauche pressed an ear to the cool metal. Hearing nothing, he fished for the ring of keys in his pocket. Somewhere a few rooms down, he heard a shout. Swallowing, he jammed the key in the door, opened it and yanked Lag after him as he hastily closed it behind them.

Not much time at all, apparently.

Gauche barely remembered most of their exodus from the building. He knew that Lag had been spectacularly cooperative for such a tiny crybaby, but from that stairwell to the cool night air of the garden, he didn't remember much at all.

It was exhilarating to be out of the stifling building. The stones beneath his bare feet were cool and grounding in what felt more like a dream than reality. A breeze rustled the trees gently, the only sound in the silent night.

Lag's little hand tightened around his own. Glancing down, Gauche felt something well in his chest as the boy looked around anxiously, as if at any moment someone might jump out at them. His wide sepia eye was dazed, cheeks tracked with tears and snot.

Kids shouldn't look that scared, he thought as he dug in his pajama pants for a handkerchief. Kneeling down, the man scrubbed gently at Lag's face. The boy whined but allowed the cleaning.

"We're almost out..." Gauche said quietly.

Lag snuffled pathetically, worrying his lip. "W-Where are we gonna go...?"

Gauche paused, frowning. The only place he could think to go was to Blue Notes Blues. It was the only other place he could remember before the hospital. Still, the fear in his heart reminded him that that place had nothing good to return to.

"C-Can...can we find momma?"

Blinking, the man glanced up. Lag shuffled a bit, watching him with a hopeful expression. What could he say to that? Definitely not no, not to that face.

Sighing, Gauche felt a tired smile tug at his lips. "Sure. But lets get out of this place, first."

Lag's face positively lit up, a wide smile splitting his dirty face. He nodded fast. "Y-Yeah!"

It was hard not to catch the excitement as the man tugged the boy after him. Climbing the fence, the two vanished into the shadows around the building.

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	36. M9 Letter

Heeeey you thought it was awkward before? The mic drop of awkward is about to happen. Be forewarned. Also, partly plot and filler dump. Enjoy!

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"letter"

Lag was used to distance. From the time he was 7, he'd been carrying on a long distance relationship with his mother, a woman whose face had begun to fade in his memory over the years. What was a few hundred miles? Letters could cross it easily.

Amberground was a massive place. In the past, it'd take weeks just to cross one ring of it. Specialized mail men were the only real hope of communication for most of the public. But time and advancements had bridged the literal gaps in the world, bringing vehicles to those who could afford them and speeding up commerce and communication by leaps and bounds.

Still, it was hard to keep connected over long distances. Even in the 1920s, most people didn't own a vehicle hardy enough to traverse the split continent. The postal service did, of course, but with the rate of crime between towns even they weren't always consistent.

During those long gaps between letters from Gauche, Lag often laid awake at night. Was he safe? Was he attacked? Did he already respond or had it been lost with another worker?

Gauche's route wasn't anywhere near Lag's little coastal town. There was no way of really knowing. It made his stomach turn.

Still, the man did his best even before that awkward first kiss to show up at his doorstep at least once a month. Friends made time, he had said. Now was no different, although Lag felt his anxiety swell up every day past the scheduled dates.

But when Gauche did show up on time, tired and a bit dusty, it was as if the fear and anxiety of those many days had just melted away. His aunt, who he'd often talked the ear off of as a child, would sigh while she listened to him blubber and carry on.

Gauche would laugh and pet the boy gently, letting him vent his worries before he gently moved him aside to kick off his boots and tug off his heavy coat. They'd sit in the living room and talk for hours, although it was mostly Lag doing the talking.

By the time lunch rolled around, Sabrina was surprised that Gauche's ears weren't bleeding. When the day began to draw to a close, Lag would tug him to the spare room, insisting that he stay rather than chance a dangerous trip home or spend money at an inn.

Glancing at a photo of Anne, Sabrina would thank the woman for raising such a considerate and sweet child.

000

Gauche had a stack of letters in his desk drawer at home, and some in his dash board for the times when things were hard. Rereading the clumsy words raised his spirits after a hard week of long distance deliveries.

Lag's writing was often cramped, with the attempts to fit as much as he could in a page or two. It was endearing, if not a bit hard to read. Although at this point, just seeing the worn and aged envelopes often was enough to inspire a sense of comfort in the man.

Most of them were from years ago, when Lag was 7 or 10. On the backs of the sheets of paper, when there wasn't more writing, there often be drawings. Gauche would be honest, Lag wasn't a particularly good artist. But still, the thought was what counted.

In the past, Aria had been curious about who mailed her friend so often and Gauche had wondered if it was strange to get mail from a kid. Now, he was just thankful that no one read them.

Most of the letters were the same as they'd always been, stuffed to the edges with writing about how Lag's day had been. Zazie had raised at least ten cats, Connor could fit two whole pizza slices in his mouth at once and Niche had found her way into his room again despite frequent lectures from his aunt. The words warmed his heart. The only difference were the tell tale signs of erased little hearts at the bottom of the page.

Sometimes though, things strayed from the routine. Not often, but when thered been a particularly long gap in the visits or a hard week, Gauche would find an extra page full of "I miss you"s and awkward confessions that left the man thankful that his door had a lock on it.

Which brought up another issue that he'd never really had before. Longing was new. A different kind of longing, different than when he'd miss Sylvette or Aria after a long trip away from home. It kept him awake long after he'd laid down to sleep.

Even though it'd been a few months since that awkward first kiss, Gauche still found himself terrified of how his heart and body reacted to that memory.

000

Sylvette was a wonderful buffer, Lag found himself thinking. When she came with Gauche, she took much of the scrutiny off of the two by distracting his aunt. The two would trade recipes and talk, giving them enough time to slip away.

Not that they did anything particularly risque, Lag mused, but even just cuddling was something they had to hide. It was nice to be out of the spot light. Surreptitiously the two snuck out of the house and headed for the cliffs.

Lag sighed, relief spreading through his bones as he sat on the warm stone. "I'm so glad that Sylvette is such good friends with auntie..."

Laughing a bit, the man sat next to him. "They do get along very well, don't they?"

And just like that, a weight slipped off of their shoulders. It was easy to talk again, easier still to relax into the man's side. Gauche felt a smile tug at his lips, pulling the boy closer. Warm and small, he mused, like a cat. Though he thought the boy would fume if he said that aloud. Nuzzling into his side, the boy let his eyes close in contentment.

"I missed you..." he mumbled.

Gauche rubbed his back gently, pressing a kiss to his head. "I missed you to."

Cheeks warming, the boy peeked up through his bangs. "I-I thought you might get mad...cuz of what I wrote last time."

Laughing nervously, the man tilted his head. "I'm not mad. I'm...surprised."

"A bad kind...?"

Sensing the oncoming of tears, Gauche lowered his head to kiss Lag's nose. "No, not a bad kind."

Blinking, Lag resisted the urge to rub at his nose. "If you're sure..."

"I am." the man said, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

It was hard not to laugh as the boy's face turned beet red. He could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. How could such a shy kid write the things he did? Maybe it was just easier to write it than to say or do it.

"To be honest?" Gauche began, feeling self conscious suddenly. "It was really...nice."

Glancing up at him, Lag blinked owlishly. "Nice?"

"Nice." the man replied, nodding. "I thought...that I was the only one who thought about that."

If it were at all possible, Lag looked ready to burst. If he gets any redder, he'll pop, Gauche mused. "Lag, breathe..."

The boy wheezed a bit, sucking in a breath sharply. He looked like he wanted to say something, but found that thinking was difficult just then. Motor functions flew out the window when his friend-now-more was so close and admitted to base urges.

Running his fingers through the boy's hair gently, Gauche fought the urge to tease him. Lag was just too cute when he got like this. "We don't need to talk about it, if you want."

Swallowing hard, the boy leaned closer and mumbled, "I-Its fine..."

Turning the topic elsewhere, Gauche said, "Sylvette was pretty excited for the summer. She wanted to have a picnic with everyone."

Lag glanced up, blinking. "A picnic?"

"Mhm." the man hummed, petting Lag's downy hair gently. "She wanted to come back with me next week. Is that okay?"

Lag broke out into a bright smile, nodding fast. "Of course! That sounds really great!"

"I'll tell her you said so." Gauche replied, smiling.

Settling back into a comfortable silence, the boy waved his legs a bit. As hard as it was to wait for his friend-now-more, it definitely was worth it.

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	37. C10 Heart Attack

Cute interspersed domestic things to battle the oncoming sexual and angsty stuff! Ahahahahaha.

Warning: referenced sexual activities. Thats really it.

Inspiration: "heart attack" by demi lovato (aahhhh my recent fav)

enjoy! Maybe! I hope!

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"heart attack"

Lag found himself putting more effort into his appearance than he thought necessary most days. It wasn't that his sudden need to run a brush more thoroughly through his tangled locks was a bad thing, or that washing his face or cutting his nails more often was any real harm. But it struck him suddenly, mid brush stroke, that this was all too out of the ordinary.

Staring at his reflection, still the round cheeked, big eyed boy he'd always been, the boy thought something was off. Leaning in close, Lag frowned pensively. What was it? 

"Lag's got a bite mark!" came a sudden call from behind him.

Startled from his search, the boy felt himself be gently moved away as Niche climbed onto the stool to begin her own morning rituals. He clamped a hand over his neck frantically, gulping.

"N-Niche, don't say that so loud..." he pleaded.

The little blond girl glanced at him from the corner of her eye, tooth brush pausing in her mouth. "Does it make you mad that you got bitten when you were fighting last night?"

Fighting. Lag's face lit up. Was that what Roda had told his little Dingo? Swallowing the lump in his throat, the boy dug through the medicine cabinet for something to cover the mark with.

"I-I'm not mad." he stated, deciding not to correct Niche.

Niche eyed him, tilting her head, but chose not to comment. As the boy hastily applied a bandage over the mark, she hummed in thought. Lag mumbled to himself, cleaning up the mess at the sink before hurrying to finish dressing for work.

As he tugged his shirt on, the topic prior to Niche's comment crept back to him. He'd never put this much effort into his appearance before, he mused. Lag wasn't a gross kid, no, as his aunt and mother had been adamant about cleanliness and hygiene. Still, he simply hadn't cared this much about how he'd looked before.

Sighing to himself, Lag wondered if he was becoming vain. Truth be told, he wasn't 100% comfortable with what his body was doing as it aged. Maybe he was just overcompensating for that reason.

A hand settled in his neat hair and ruffled it out of place, causing the boy to whine and attempt to disengage from it. Lag didn't need to look up to know who had mussed up his hair, huffing.

"I just brushed it..." he said sourly.

Noir chuckled, fingers deftly pulling his tie together. "I saw."

Glancing up, Lag felt his irritation melt. It was hard to feel annoyed when he saw that easy smile. Swallowing back the complaint on his lips, the boy looked down. It occurred to him, in a briliant burst of realization, that his new found attention to his looks coincided with the man's return.

Feeling just a tad silly, Lag hung his head. Zazie and Connor had already been making their fair share of teasing comments about his grooming. While Zazie's teasing had been fairly muted as of late, Connor had picked up right where the cat boy had left off.

Adjusting his shirt collar, the boy's fingertip brushed against the coarse material of the bandaid. Cheeks flushing, Lag mused that perhaps it was worth the extra attention to detail after all.

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	38. B10 Pulse

More exposition! Hoopla!

I cranked out the majority of these a while back and just put them out in bulk when I had the bare minimum chapter numbers, in case anyone is wondering why suddenly theres silence. I'm trash like that (snickers)

also, thank you to my reviewer! I'm really glad you enjoyed this particular au! I was so worried that people would be super put off by it, or think it was ridiculous. But i'm really glad at least you like it!

Warning: ideologically sensitive themes, vaguely hinted sexual abuse.

Onward!

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"pulse"

It took an entire day to regain the strength to move more than a few steps again. In that day, Gauche had done his best to think about what to do next. Word would have gotten back to the BeeHive by now, about Lag. About him.

On one hand, was the life of a scared child. There was no way he could kill him. Gauche had been faced with the choice countless times in the last three days, with no results. One look at Lag's hopeful face, his soft curves that reminded him of the boy's age, and Gauche couldn't bring himself to even acknowledge that he'd considered it.

One the other, was hard labor at the least and prison at the worst. Sylvette, his little sister, would be left to her own devices. Possibly for the remainder of his life. He might never see her again.

Closing his eyes, the main chewed his lip. He couldn't do this. There had to be something, _anything_ that he could do to salvage this situation.

Lag, for his part, was an immense help. The boy frequently went out to find food, tended to anything Gauche couldn't The smile he'd offer, when thanked, was heart breaking.

The final night, in the warmth of the cave and his blankets, Gauche made his decision. It happened while sitting close to the boy, who had offered to share his blankets against the chill of the rain outside.

Lag had been speaking, softly, when Gauche realized he'd been talking. Even as exhausted as he felt, Gauche paid special attention to the boy's gentle voice.

"I was made in the capital." he began, looking beyond the walls of the cave. "There were two of us, and mother. She'd been asked to help with an experiment."

Roda laid beside them, yawning widely. Gauche pet her slowly, listening patiently. Lag had paused, gathering his thoughts. "She didn't want to, she said. But she did it anyway. I had a sister, but I didn't know her. Mother said that...she was the one they used the most. That most of us were because of her."

The implications filled the man with nausea. Lag's lips twitched, like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words to. Glancing up, he let a small frown tug at his lips. "Mother took me and left, when they used up my sister. But they chased us around a lot. We were safe, happy even, in Rengus before..."

The shadows cast by the fire gave the boy's one human eye an odd glimmer. Glancing at Gauche's arm, Lag chewed his lip. "I-I was never really good at controlling it. My stomach I mean. I ruined a lot for mother...I'll ruin things for you to." he stammered, voice catching. "Y-You should have let them..."

Gauche refused to listen at that point, pulling the boy close to his side. "I'm not going to let anyone harm you." he said firmly, a conviction behind his words that felt misplaced.

Blinking, the boy looked up, eye locking with Gauche's. Chewing his lip, Lag turned his gaze down. "E-Even though I hurt you?"

He's testing me, Gauche thought. "Even then."

"W-What if I eat you? W-What if y-you never see your s-sister again?"

Using the edge of the blanket to dab away the fat tears from Lag's cheeks, Gauche said softly, "You wont. But even then, I wont let anything happen to you."

If Lag needed a reason, he didn't ask. A hiccup escaped his mouth, followed by a choked sob. Gauche tugged him closer, rubbing his back gently. Everything about Lag felt like a real child, he thought wearily. It drove a stake through his heart. Too much had happened to this child, before he'd been old enough to understand any of it.

He wouldn't let anything happen to Lag. That much, regardless of the risks, was a certainty.

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	39. K10 Regret

Ohoho! Back story! A bit short, because I cant write too much before it gets spoiled. But! It'll be soon.

Warning: ideologically sensitive themes, hinted rape.

Onward!

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"regret"

It was cold and dark in the dungeon, something perhaps Anne should have expected. Sighing, the woman tugged up her skirts as she made her way through the damp and narrow hallway. Her stomach was swollen and it made it difficult to walk now.

She came to stop at a sturdy wooden door, raising her hand to knock. She paused, heart aching when she heard a soft sob escape the occupant. Taking a breath, the woman knocked gently. All at once, the sobs stopped.

A raspy, nervous voiced murmured, "W-Whose there...?"

Chewing her lip, Anne responded, "Its...Anne. I was the woman you bumped into."

The silence that hung between them was suffocating. Unspoken bitterness radiate from the child. She sighed, brushing back her hair. "I wanted to...appologize. You met such an unfortunate fate because of me..."

Silence met her words. If the occupant felt anything, if they accepted her apology, they gave no indication. Closing her eyes, the woman let out a slow breath. "I also wanted to let you know that... I asked for you to be one of my servants. So that, at least until your service here is up, you can leave that cell."

This, the boy seemed to react to. There was the soft noises of cloth scraping against the stone floor, before two thin and worn little hands grasped the bars in the window. Anne was startled to see a pair of vivid sepia eyes peer out at her, distrust darkening the lovely color.

Taking in the young woman, the boy appeared satisfied with whatever he saw. "W-When do I start...?"

Letting go of the bated breath she'd been holding, Anne let a small smile form. "Tomorrow."

000

Life as a servant was significantly different than that of a menial laborer. Gauche wasnt sure if it was any better or worse, given that the change of tasks all had their own downsides. He was relieved though, that Anne was such an easy person to care for.

Although she looked so far along in her pregnancy, the woman informed him that she was only 5 months in. Gauche paused in his task, finding it hard not to stare at the massive belly. The woman laughed softly.

"I'm sure its nothing serious. At least, the doctors tell me I'm doing fine."

Gauche circled around the bed to help her settle against the pillows more comfortably. She was such a thin woman, aside from her enormous belly. "Why do they call you the Empress...?"

Glancing at the boy, her smile faded a touch. "I was the Empress's daughter. Well, before all this, I was." Anne gestured to the grand bedroom.

Perhaps to her, this wasnt grand at all. Or maybe it looked grand, but hid an ugly underbelly. Gauche could definitely see how such a beautiful home could hide something dark and unpleasant. Blinking, he eyed her face.

"But I thought... that she went missing?"

Anne gave a soft sigh, closing her eyes. "In a manner of speaking. I was young and afraid, so I thought this place was the right choice for me."

How alike they were, the boy mused.

"And...it wasnt?" Gauche ventured, sitting on the bed.

A tired smile tugged at the woman's lips. "No. I became a figurehead for a cult. I became pregnant. And now, I cant go back even if I want to."

The ache in her voice drove a stake through the boy's heart. Something told him that this belly was filled with nothing but disapointment. It wasnt something he had the luxury of being unaware of.

Opening her eyes a bit, Anne frowned. "Oh, dear, dont you worry. I'm sure everything will be fine. My child and I will be happy, one way or another."

Gauche blinked, smiling just a bit. He didnt need to worry about Anne. She was a strong woman, despite how frail she looked.

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	40. M10 Moonlight

Oh boy. Here it is. The chapter. I think we all know what that means. No? Well thats good then! I-it may get more intense in the next chapter, but I promise nothing graphic. Or at least not graphically written.

Warnings: underage sex being hinted at. Thats really it.

Inspiration: "love story" by taylor swift

o-onward?

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"moonlight"

Lag yawned wide, watching Gauche carry Sylvette up the stairs. She had a content little smile, her head tucked against his neck as she slept. It had been a long day, Lag mused, stretching a bit.

The picnic turned out to be more involved than the girl had expected, with much of the meal being either eaten by Connor or stolen by Zazie's cats. The cat hoarding boy was pleased to show the new set of kittens his favorite cat had given birth to, who in turn seemed bent on targetting Connor.

It couldnt have been a better day. Warm, sunny and surrounded by friends in the park. Even if Sylvette had insisted that they all at least _try_ the soup she'd brought ("Its a different recipe! Really!" "I-Its so gross...") it had still been a lot of fun.

But, as dictated by the powers that be, everything had to come to a close eventually. Their friends had left and only the sleepy trio was left. His aunt had okay'd the boy's plea for the siblings to sleep over and no sooner than that had been said, Sylvette was fast asleep on the couch.

Glancing at the old grandfather clock, Lag noted it had to be at least 9 at night. His curfew was in an hour, although he rarely had to follow it in the summer. Making his way up the stairs, the boy did his best to step over the creaky steps and floor boards. His aunt should be asleep and he didnt want to wake her up.

The boy fumbled for the switch to his light, mumbling quietly as he stumbled through to room trying to find his bed side table. Finding it, the boy flicked the knob. Nothing. Frowning, he mumbled to himself. The bulb must be dead.

Well, he wasnt here to do any work so he supposed it could wait until morning. At least the moon that spilled through his open window was enough to see with. A quiet knock sounded off on the door frame. Starting, the boy turned and felt a sigh escape. Just Gauche. Wait.

"Can I come in...?"

Blinking, Lag nodded. The man looked like he felt out of place in the doorway, even though he'd slipped into Lag's room plenty of times in the night. Night time cuddles were important, Lag had told him, even though they'd gone most of their lives without them before now.

Gauche stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself, blinking in the darkness. Lag gestured to the lamp. "The bulb died..."

"Ah."

Sitting on the bed, Lag yawned wide before patting it. Gauche snickered, moving to sit beside the boy, not needing to be told twice that it was the designated cuddle time. He gathered the boy up into his arms and promptly flopped over, burying his face in the snowy locks. Squirming to get comfortable, Lag let out a sigh of contentment.

It was stifling in the room, Lag thought sleepily. He hadnt had time to undress before Gauche got in, although clothes or not, two bodies squashed together rarely helped abate the heat. Still, cuddle time.

Nuzzling under his chin, the boy listened for the familiar heart beat. It felt a bit elevated tonight. Blinking his eyes open, he peered up at the man. The moonlight spilled over their forms, catching Gauche's hair and making it glow. His eyes were closed, though Lag knew he was still awake. Over the months, he'd grown to recognize the subtle gestures that told him the man's mental states.

The hand on his back twitched a bit. It was just low enough to catch his hormone's attention. Gulping, Lag told himself to relax. It was just a twitch, nothing purposeful. Still, everything jumped in his body around the man.

He heard a light chuckle and lips moving against his head. "Are you okay? You're breathing like you ran a mile."

Stupid hormones. Lag nodded, stammering. "Y-Yeah, just...um..."

Gauche didnt need to be told what had happened. Sometimes he forgot what it was like to be young and a stranger in a body that was changing constantly. Kissing the boy's forehead, he smiled. "Do you need me to leave?"

Lag's face was beet red as he let out a whine and hid his face. "N-No...u-um..."

A thought occurred. The hand on the boy's back settled on his side lightly, thumb drawing lazy circles on the exposed skin where his shirt rode up. The reaction was instantaneous, a soft gasp escaping. Lag's hands tightened in his shirt.

"Do you want me to help...?"

Lag was quiet for a moment, before nodding gently.

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	41. C11 Dress

Yaaaay the last truly happy and ungloomy chapter! But thats not to say the rest are sad, just not so purely joy covered. Worry not!

Warnings: spoilers (if you are reading this far, you've already doomed yourself)

inspiration: "ready or not" by bridgit mendler (all the songs I have for her inspire basically all the fics A)

onward!

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"dress"

Sharing a room meant sharing space. That space filled up quickly, even if Noir had little to put away to begin with. And so, when the drawers to the dresser no longer closed, Lag decided they would clean and organize.

Or, that would have been the case had his new roommate not been a cruel monster who didn't know how to let things go.

Groaning, the boy hid his face in his hands. "J-Just throw that thing away...!"

In Noir's hands, in all of its daintily frilled glory, was the dress Lag had used to infiltrate the Abbey. When he'd gotten back from that mission, the boy had just tossed his entire bag of clothes into the dresser drawer, not bothering to sort it at the time. He'd been exhausted and excited to see how his idol was doing and over the last few weeks, he'd just forgotten all about the stupid dress.

Of course, that's not how it looked to Noir. He took one look at the garment and smirked. "I didn't know you liked these kinds of things, Lag."

"I-I don't!" he wailed, face red. "I forgot to get rid of it!"

Noir held it up in front of himself, closing an eye. It occurred to Lag that he was picturing the boy in it. Fuming, the smaller male lunged for the offending article. "S-Stop that right now! Get rid of it!"

The man easily held it out of his reach, holding him back with a finger to the forehead. "No, I don't think I will."

"Why!"

"You don't need to be ashamed." Noir said, that damnable smirk growing. "I'm sure there's lots of kids like you."

"There's nothing that I'm like!" the boy cried, struggling to grab at the dress.

From the hallway, he heard Roda chuckle to herself. "So you still have that?"

If possible, his face burned even brighter. Groaning, Lag covered his face. "N-Not you to..."

Noir glanced at his faithful companion, amusement clear in his eyes. "Didn't you say you caught him in this?"

"We fought in it." Roda confirmed, setting the stack of clean laundry she'd been holding on the bed. "He was very cute, but so unlady-like, never crossing his legs or minding when it hiked up."

Lag took one look at the man and saw the gears turning in his head. Giving a long whine of humiliation, he cried, "Roda, no!"

The laugh that escaped the two could have drove him to drinking, if not for the lack of malice in it. Noir ruffled his hair and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his head. "I'm sure he makes an awful girl." the man teased.

Roda snickered, folding some clothing that had been deemed worthy of keeping. "I hear there's a betting pool surrounding that."

"Oh?"

Lag let out a cry of horror, "No! Y-You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!"

Sharing a room wasn't so bad, when he could cuddle and kiss Noir. It wasn't so bad when it meant that they could all form a comfy tangle on the bed on the colder nights. But this was definitely not one of those highlights.

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	42. B11 Perception

Short short short. Lots of short fics. But thats fine, we have a bit to go! And so i'm not too worried about keeping to drabbles for now. Soon to be more light hearted!...ish!

Inspiration: "human" by christina perri

onward!

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"perception"

When at last Gauche emerged from the cave, he felt like he was seeing the world for the first time. The stars seemed brighter, less like pinpricks in the sky and more like a comforting night light. Roda trotted to his side, shaking herself free of dust and dirt. Glancing down, the man felt a smile tug at his lips.

It had been nearly a week since he'd fed Lag. His knees ached from sitting too long, his back ached from the hard ground. It felt good to leave the muggy, unpleasant cave.

"We've lost a week of time, but the rest of the way should go more smoothly." Gauche murmured to himself, looking at his worn out map.

Lag stepped out of the cavern, glancing around warily. "There's no more towns..."

No towns was a good thing, Gauche was tempted to say. But the reality was grim. Lag had to be hungry and there wasn't any prey around for him. That left Gauche was the primary meal of the day and that wasn't a memory he wanted to revisit.

"Its fine. We'll move quickly."

000

The world outside of his little town was as vast as the starry sky he was so used to seeing. Even with the exhausting work to keep up with Gauche through the crumbly mountain roads, Lag couldn't help the awe he felt.

Roda trotted ahead of them at times, her fur standing out in the dark like a lamp. Pausing at the crest of the incline he was climbing, the boy sucked in a deep breath. His shoulder throbbed with a dull pain and his stomach was turning. He was looking forward to the end of this hike.

Gauche stopped beside him, taking a moment to catch his breath. Digging in his coat, he tugged out his map and scanned it briefly.

"I'm kind of surprised." he said, "We haven't run into any Gaichu."

Glancing over at the map, Lag chewed his lip. "Is it that strange?"

"Well...this is their territory." Gauche explained, glancing around for the tell tale glow of the creatures.

Lag adjusted his suitcase and his backpack, glancing around as well. "Mother said they don't like to cross our paths."

Glancing at the boy, the man raised an eyebrow. "That seems like a pretty useful detail."

It wasn't something Lag could say with 100% certainty, but it seemed to be the case. It wasn't as if he and his mother had lived near the safety of people, Gaichu had been a very real threat.

Itching his cheek, the boy glanced down. "I guess it is."

"I wonder why they avoid you." the man mused, continuing their trek. "Do they view you as one of them or...?"

Lag shrugged, unsure of how to respond. "I think so. I don't have any Heart of my own."

Now that, Gauche found unlikely. For all intents and purposes, the boy was extraordinarily human-like. He was consistently his own person, the same person every day. There had to be some Heart that was purely, uniquely Lag inside his armor.

"I think you do." Gauche said.

Glancing at the man oddly, the boy felt his chest constrict a bit. That familiar scent was coming from him again. Chewing his lip, he let a small smile tug at his lips. "Thank you..."

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	43. K11 Window

Aaaand now we get just a bit further into the mythos of the world lag and gauche inhabit. Due to various things, the fics will last more than 12 chapters! Probably something like 15. now i'm wishing I could go back and add to fics... agh

warning: spoilers!

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"window"

Beyond the sterile walls of the BeeHive, the world wasn't the shimmering place Lag expected. Of course, he hadn't expected to leave the way he did either. His mother was supposed to sweep him into her slender arms, kiss his cheeks and settle into the carriage she'd ridden in to get here.

Instead, he and Gauche had hid for hours wherever they could, avoiding the sound of pounding footsteps when they came near. The town's warning bell was banging away, echoing far into the expanses around Yusari Central.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Swallowing, the boy looked up at the dusty ceiling, counting until the sounds of the police faded away. Gauche knelt by his side, a stolen gun clenched in his white knuckled hand. His eyes had taken on a strange sharpness that Lag had only seen one other time before this night.

He didn't want to think of his protector and best friend as someone capable of awful things. Swallowing, Lag rubbed his eye lightly. He was exhausted, hungry and the cold bit through the thin pajamas they wore in the medical wing. But right then, he was just scared.

Gently, Gauche took the boy's hand and murmured, "We're going to move to the next building. Ready?"

Lag felt his stomach sink, nodding shakily. His heart rate ramped up as the man lead him, kneeling down beneath the window sils, towards the door. They'd managed to make it to the outskirts of the city, near the old and crumbling buildings that no one used anymore.

000

The ground rumbled beneath the carriage wheels, making sleep difficult to come by. No matter what he did, Lag found sleep to be elusive. Rubbing his eye sluggishly, he peered around the small interior. There were a few benches, a few other travelers. Nothing particularly exciting.

Besides him, Gauche dozed off peacefully. The man practically collapsed once he was certain that they were safe, leaning into the hard seat and tugging his worn coat closer. He looked so peaceful, Lag thought enviously.

It had been days since their escape from Yusari Central, days since either had fully rested. It was hard to imagine life before the sudden exodus. Lag almost missed the gross cafeteria food and stiff cot. He definitely didn't miss getting prodded and poked though. Stretching, he eyed the inky darkness outside of the window.

Once upon a time, this dark world had a sun. It had gone away, only to be replaced by a new one. His mother used to tell him stories about the world 200 years ago, about the savior Chico who had protected them from a corrupt government. She told him that he'd come from a long line of powerful women, magical ones.

Lag honestly wasn't sure about all that. What he did know, was that the world had bent to cater to any whim he'd had back in Blue Notes Blues. He'd been praised as a messiah.

But outside of his frigid home town, his powers didn't mean anything. They couldn't save him or Gauche from prowling guards or wanted posters. They didn't bring food or warm clothes.

Swallowing hard, Lag glanced up at his sleeping friend. Gauche would protect him, he knew. Ever since Lag could remember, the man had been his friend and protector. He'd taken Lag away from that horrible place, and now from Central.

Yes, Gauche was here, he reminded himself. There was no reason to worry.

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	44. M11 Store

Wooaaaah this was far more tame than I expected. Mostly because i'm a coward and I couldnt commit to full blown detailed sex. Well, thats a good thing since this needs to stay under the T rating! Good things, all good things.

Longer than the other chapters due to ~dramaaaa~

warnings: non-detailed handjobs, super cliché, shota

inspiration: "love story" by taylor swift

onward!

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"store"

"Lag, I'm going to go shopping for dinner." Sabrina called, slipping her foot into a shoe.

The boy poked his head from the doorway of the living room, smiling. "Alright aunty! Do you need any help?"

Glancing into the room, the woman spotted Gauche sitting on the couch. The two had been busy with a card game, from the looks of it. "No, that's alright. You stay and have fun with your friend."

Lag nodded, heading back to the game. "Be safe aunty!" he called.

Basket in hand, Sabrina cast one last glance at the two before heading out. Lag listened for the click of the door closing behind his aunt, before setting down the cards he'd been holding. Gauche blinked, glancing at the boy.

The giddy smile on his face told him all he needed to know. Over the last month, they had developed their own silent way of asking without asking. As much as Gauche loved hearing the boy stumble over his words, he knew it stressed Lag out to ask for intimacy. It was just easier to go along with it.

Smiling back softly, the man set down the cards he'd been holding. Lag stood, tugging his hand and he followed the gentle pull out of the room and up the stairs. They had at least an hour, more than enough time for whatever the boy had planned.

Even now, his heart raced.

000

It would be a lie to say that Sabrina liked Gauche, per se. The man had settled into their lives the way that dust settled over shelves. There was simply no helping it, she mused, and the most one could do was to keep it in check.

Of course he made her uncomfortable being around Lag. A grown man that seemed much too close to her charge would make anyone uncomfortable. And it wasn't just the way he smiled at Lag just a bit too long, or how his eyes softened when they fell on the boy. It was his entire existence.

Still, she couldn't very well banish him from the house without causing Lag a great deal of pain. Besides, he hadn't truly given her a reason to dislike him, not really. Just existing wasn't an excuse.

Sighing, Sabrina picked an apple from the tidy pile before her, inspecting it. Lag could eat her out of house and home on a good day, and today Gauche was visiting. While she was out, she might as well shop for the boy's lunch tomorrow to...

It was a warm day, possibly one of the last before autumn came around. Sabrina wasn't looking forward to the chilly air and the rainy season. Still, it brought its own joys. The changing leaves, the festivities of Christmas. All things that reminded the woman that it was worth the chill.

It wasn't until Sabrina went to reach for her wallet that she'd realized she'd left it at home. Mumbling, she set the apple back down and headed back.

000

Lag was a comforting warmth against his chest, his hair tickling the man's nose as he squirmed closer to him. A hand clenched his forearm hard, blunt nails digging into his skin. Gauche held him closer, nuzzling his cheek and pressing a kiss to it.

This was his favorite part, he'd found, of his new found intimacy with the boy. The way he wriggled in Gauche's arms, the sound of his breathy cries, the way he jerked his hips into the man's hand with a desperation he couldn't put words to. When he caught a glimpse of Lag's face, he felt a bit dizzy.

Burying his face in the boy's soft hair, Gauche felt his heart race. After this, he knew he'd feel strange, as if he didn't fit in his body quite right. But right now, he couldn't have found a more comfortable place in the world than right here.

000

Stepping into the house, the woman paused. Something immediately felt amiss. It occurred to Sabrina that she couldn't hear any talking. It next occurred to her that there were sounds that were all too familiar, and yet, foreign.

It took a moment for Sabrina to realize that she was hearing moans.

Following the sound to the staircase, the woman stared up at the just out of sight bedroom door. In the time it took her to realize what was happening, she'd already been halfway up the staircase. She pushed the door open hard enough that it slammed.

What she saw, she couldn't have been prepared for.

Her little nephew was in Gauche's lap, pants shoved down to his knees. A hand was loosely wrapped around his erection, its motion continuing for a moment as if the reaction to her appearance had been delayed.

Lag, for his part, snapped from the daze he'd been in the moment he comprehended who was in his door. The dawning horror on the two's face told Sabrina that they were both fully back to reality.

Hand shaking on the doorknob, the woman shouted, "What the _hell_ is going on here?!"

Gauche's hand was off the boy in a fraction of a heart beat. Lag was frozen in horror up until the warmth of his hand left. He fumbled to pull up his pants. The next few minutes were a blur of action. Lag found himself wrenched from Gauche's warm, safe hold and clutched to his aunt's side like a rag doll. He watched, lost for words, as the woman shouted at his friend-now-more at the top of her lungs.

The look on Gauche's face was crushing.

Squirming in his aunt's hold, Lag cried, "A-Aunt Sabrina, i-its not l-like that! H-He wasn't hurting me-!"

"Quiet!" the woman snapped, ignoring the boy's protests.

It hadn't taken much to get Gauche out of the house. He stumbled out the door with a hard push from Sabrina, his coat and boots tossed at him as he regained his balance. Reality seemed stunted, the scenario seeming like something from a novel or a love song, rather than real life.

Attempting to hold the items that had been thrown, the man felt a cold chill run up his spine. He felt eyes on him. The entire block was watching him. Swallowing hard, he turned his focus to Sabrina, who was still shouting.

"-gusting! Get the hell out of here, don't you dare come back!"

Lag struggled to get by the woman, panic alight on his face. "N-No, you don't understand!" he cried.

The woman easily pushed him aside, ignoring his cries. "You heard me!"

The crowd was growing. A man called, "Whats going on here, Sabrina?"

All three of them went stiff. It seemed to occur just then to Sabrina and to Lag, that they weren't alone. Gauche could see the warring emotions and thoughts in the woman's eyes.

Casting a glance at her nephew, the woman swallowed hard. The boy looked terrified and not for himself. His vivid eyes darted around, wide and dewy, before landing on his aunt. He chewed his lip hard, trying not to cry. The hand she'd used to hold Lag began to quiver. 

Lag tugged at Sabrina's arm, pleading, "P-Please, a-at least let him go without trouble...!"

To say no to that face would be like crushing a child's dreams, she thought. It didn't seem quite right. Chewing her lip hard, the woman turned her face away, sighing heavily.

"Just get going, before I change my mind." she said.

Gauche stared at her for a long moment, not quite comprehending what was going on for a moment. Swallowing, he cast one last glance at Lag, his heart breaking. The boy's eyes were wide, fat tears freely falling down his cheeks. The boy nodded fast, his mouth opening as if he wanted to speak. He couldn't seem to will himself to, though.

If he could rewind time, Gauche would have done anything to take away those tears.

Turning on his heel, the man hurried down the street. Ever conscious of the crowd at his back, murmuring and asking the woman loudly what had happened. He made it to his truck, closing the door hard and gripping the steering wheel.

For a long while, that's all Gauche did. The full weight of the last 10 minutes of his life crashed down over him. Sucking in a shaking breath, the man brought a hand up to rub his eyes roughly. Things had gone so badly, so quickly. It still didn't feel real. His stomach was rolling and his whole body felt as if he had fallen and hadn't hit the ground yet. The man squeezed his eyes shut tight and took a deep, shuddering breath.

A long time must have passed, because by the time he looked up again, the street was empty.

Word would spread fast. He had to go now, before someone took justice into their own hands. Digging in his coat pocket, he tugged out his key ring. Missing the first few times, he managed to get the key into the ignition. The beat up old truck came to life with a clunking sound.

He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave Lag alone. Closing his eyes tight, Gauche reminded himself that his own life was at risk right now, not Lag's. With a heavy heart, he steered the truck out of the small town.

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	45. C12 Man To Man

I've wanted to write this one for so long, I was so excited 8D;; but i'm super not good at drama so i'm sure I messed up anyway.

Inspiration: "man to man" by gary allen

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"man to man"

It was raining steadily, the drops pattering noisily against the window pane. Lag watched the dreary weather from his desk, head resting in his hand. It had been raining for a few days now and he hadn't had any deliveries for the day. Whats more, his friends were all busy and he felt the bordem and loneliness sink into his bones like the chilly air.

Sighing, he wondered why at least Connor hadn't shown up. He loved Sylvette's end of the week meals, where she used up whatever was left to make dinner. But he'd seen neither hide nor hair of the pudgy boy. More alarming, was the lack of Zazie in his daily life. The boy seemed to evade contact with him after deliveries and hadn't shown up in a week for breakfast or dinner.

As he went to heave another long sigh, the boy heard the door open quietly. Lag knew from the way his foot fell over the floor boards who it was, before Noir even spoke. Casting a glance over the sullen child, the man frowned.

"Whats the matter?"

"I'm worried about Zazie..." Lag mumbled, frowning. "He hasn't been himself lately...and he didn't come for breakfast at all this week."

Noir set down the basket of laundry Sylvette had sent him up with, blinking. "That is strange. Did he say why?"

Lag shook his head gloomily. "No...but I think he's avoiding me."

The words struck a cord in Noir. "Is that so..."

Sighing heavily, probably for the third time since Noir had come in, the boy replied, "I wonder what I did wrong...He sees Connor still."

Turning his attention back to the laundry, the man began to fold it and put it away. "I'm sure its not you. He might just be anxious about the news of the Head Bee."

Lag wanted to believe that. Zazie had never cared about the title before. But maybe the governmental turmoil had caused some stress on the boy. Maybe Lag's big reveal had been too much. Sighing again, Lag mumbled, "Maybe..."

Pausing in his chores, Noir stepped over to the boy, ruffling his hair gently. He smiled a bit when Lag whined in dismay, attempting to fix the tangle of hair. "I'm sure its nothing big. Don't worry so much."

Glancing up through his messy hair, the boy felt a smile tug at his lips momentarily. "I hope so..."

000

The rain had let up just in time for his return, as luck would have it. Zazie's mood soured as he attempted to side step the deeper puddles of murky rain water, holding his empty bag closer to avoid the still emptying rooftop drains. He hated rain.

The sight of Sylvette's door caught his attention, and a sigh of relief escaped him. He was eager to tug off his soaked uniform and warm up with his friends. He'd been so busy this week that even if he was forced to endure Noir and Lag's gushy displays, Zazie was more than happy to just relax with Lag and Connor.

Pausing in the road, the boy felt a frown tug at his lips. Speak of the devil. Noir had just stepped out of the house, a paper in his hand. Probably a grocery list. If he wasn't mistaken, Sylvette's famous end of the week dinner had passed the other night.

He was hoping that the man would just continue down the street, but he glanced up from the paper and spotted Zazie just as the boy had begun to step away. Noir regarded the boy as if he'd known he was there the entire time, blinking. Zazie felt his hair stand on end.

"Hello, Zazie. Did you come to see Lag?" Zazie nodded curtly, and the man continued, "He isn't here, I'm afraid. He just left a bit ago."

Scowling, the boy let out a quiet "tch..." and began to turn around to leave. It figured. He'd come to see the boy, but it was just as well. He didn't think he come stomach Lag and Noir tonight anyway.

Noir watched him turn, frowning. "Is there something on your mind?"

Pausing, Zazie glanced back and raised an eyebrow. "Whats it to you?"

For a moment, Noir felt around for the right words. "Lag's been worried about you. He thinks you've been avoiding him."

Zazie winced. Lowering his gaze, he muttered, "Figures he'd think that..."

"So," the man ventured, tucking the paper he'd forgotten he'd been holding into his pocket. "It isn't true?"

"..." Zazie was silent.

"Does it have to do with me?"

He could practically see the fur stand on end, as the cat boy's disposition soured. If he were a cat, his haunches would be raised. Struck a nerve then.

Zazie's face scrunched into a scowl. "Why the hell would it?"

Noir felt like he was cornering an animal. One wrong word, and he was fairly certain the boy would lash out. "You've been avoiding Lag since he announced we were together."

In an effort to reel in his irritation, Zazie took a slow and steadying breath. "Listen, its not my business what he does. I don't care."

His voice shook, just a bit, Noir noted. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, "that's so"." Zazie snapped.

"So," the man began, knowing he was about to step on the boy's tail. "this doesn't have anything to do with jealousy? Or your past affair?"

Caught off guard, the boy shot him a disbelieving look. "E-Excuse me?"

Bingo. Noir said nothing, watching Lag's precious friend crumple from the inside. The expressions flashing over the boy's face were like a broken record, the notes lost in translation. Finally, he settled on a cold, narrow eyed scowl.

"Listen." Zazie hissed, "You're stepping on some thin fuckin' ice here."

"So it isn't true?"

"Yeah, we went out." he snapped, voice quivering with the attempt to stay calm. "But that's not your business. If he wants to date someone who abandoned him and broke his heart, that's his choice. I've got nothing to say about it." he spat, fists clenching at his side.

Raising an eyebrow, Noir almost felt insulted. But this was just built up emotion, he reminded himself. Zazie knew the truth, he just wasn't thinking straight in his anger. "That's a rather serious accusation."

Realizing what he had said, the boy looked spooked for a moment. Zazie hadn't meant to say that. Swallowing hard, he pushed aside his momentary guilt. "Its the truth." he said bitterly, meeting the man's gaze straight forward. "You're gonna hurt him again. He's gonna cry and I'm gonna have to pick up the pieces again."

And I cant do it again. The unspoken words reminded Noir just how those predictions had come true, when he'd first arrived. Zazie had every right to make accusations, he mused, because he'd yet to prove he wouldn't do it again.

Still, he wasn't going to. Noir was certain in this at least, that he'd do anything to never hurt Lag that way again. "I can assure you, I wont."

Zazie snorted, "Yeah, sure. Lag might be fooled, but I'm not."

Words didn't mean much, the man had learned. It was actions that spoke louder, and he knew that he'd sent the wrong message. Sighing, he closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "Whether you're fooled or not, its you whose abandoning him right now."

Zazie couldn't hold back a flinch. He hated the idea of what Noir had just said, rejected it wholly. But was he wrong? Had Noir been wrong about anything just now? Biting his lip, the boy fought the urge to lash out.

"Whether you like me or trust me, Lag is who you're letting down." Noir continued, the memory of the sullen boy's figure coming to mind. "You're still important to him."

Casting his gaze to the slick cobble stone road, Zazie muttered, "Like I don't know that already..."

Watching him a moment longer, Noir sighed and moved to leave. "Well then, do something."

Zazie watched him go, the urge to throw something at the man growing with each step that carried him away. He hated him. He hated even more that he was right. Sighing hard, the raven haired boy tugged his cap down over his eyes, turning on his heel.

He absolutely did not like that guy whatsoever!

000

The scent of breakfast pulled Lag from his exhausted slumber. He'd gotten home late and had passed out, barely out of his uniform, onto the bed. He hadn't even bothered trying to squirm in the tangle of people, content to lay half on Noir and half buried under Niche. It wasn't until he smelled eggs cooking that he finally pulled himself from the comfy mound of blankets.

Surprisingly, Niche was up already and he could hear Sylvette's voice demanding that she brush her teeth. A lazy smile tugged at his lips as the boy tugged on his sweater and a pair of baggy pants, shivering in the chilly room.

As predicted, Noir and Roda were already seated at the table. Underneath was an irritated Niche, her hair holding her tooth brush as she did her chore miserably.

Glancing up from the pan of bacon she'd been frying, Sylvette smiled. "Hey sleepy head."

"Hello..." Lag greeted, holding a hand up to smother a yawn.

"Hey, Lag!"

Blinking sluggishly, the boy spotted Connor, his plate already full with whatever he'd brought, plus Sylvette's cooking. Next to him sat a disgruntled Zazie, pointedly ignoring Noir as he ate his eggs. A bubble of relief welled in Lag's chest to see the two after so much time had passed.

"H-Hey...!"

Zazie glanced over, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, don't cry. There's still lots to eat."

A laugh escaped the boy as he trotted over to the table. "I-I'm not crying!"

Sylvette set down their plates and joined them soon after with her own, a bright, pleased smile on her face. She was more than relieved to see the mangy cat kid had shown up, although she imagined Connor had probably dragged him here. Still, she was glad. No one enjoyed seeing Lag drift about like he was about to be executed.

Somewhere, in the middle of reaching for bread across the table, Lag caught Zazie's eye. He paused, before a warm smile graced his features. The boy felt his cheeks warm a bit and glanced away, mumbling about needing more milk.

"I'm really glad you came today, Zazie." Lag said, oblivious to the way his quiet words impacted the boy before him.

Zazie rolled his eyes, stuffing a piece of ham into his mouth. "Shuddup..."

At last, Noir thought, all was right with Lag and his friends. In the coming weeks, they'd need that warmth and that precious happiness to get them through the day. But mostly, he was just happy to see Lag smile again.

Zazie's words rang in his head, but he was confident that he wouldn't meet those prophecies this time. Lag wouldn't be crying over him ever again. And he wouldn't cry over Zazie either.

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	46. B12 Roses

Tadaaa! Mildly happy! It didn't spike into angst quite the way I expected, thankfully. This is more happy filler than real plot. Although the end does touch on some stuff that'll come up soon.

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"roses"

They came to a shallow stream, pausing to catch their breath and eat their lunches. Lag sat on a small boulder, peering up as the shadows of some great creatures passed over them. Besides him, Gauche cast a glance at the boy, a small smile tugging at his lips.

It had been a day since they left the cave and things had been going smoothly. No Gaichu to speak of, no angry people and Lag seemed to be staving off his hunger well. The boy watched the creatures until they were gone from the sky, a weightless feeling in his chest.

He hadn't imagined that he could see the world and find beauty in it. Ever since he'd been released from the capital and sequestered away, the world outside of the rooms around him had seemed so far away.

A tin of soup was pressed into his hand. Blinking, Lag took the can and smiled. Gauche returned the smile, settling down to his own can. Roda yawned lazily, trotting up to the stream to take a drink.

"Its so peaceful." Lag murmured, stirring his soup.

Gauche hummed in agreement, eating his food at his own pace. "We should be to the desert in another day or so."

The thought weighed heavily in their minds. Once they reached the desert, there was no turning back. Letting go of his spoon, Lag swallowed hard. "What...what do you think will happen...?"

Pausing, Gauche felt a sigh building. "I'm honestly not sure. Word has gotten back to Yusari by now..."

Lag went back to stirring his soup, anxiety beginning to make him queasy. "If you deliver me... you'll get into a lot of trouble."

The man's lips formed a thin line. Sighing, he glanced at Lag tiredly. "I will. But I'm not going to leave you in the middle of nowhere. Don't worry. We'll figure this out."

Staring into the soup, Lag worried his lip. "Right..."

Glancing at Roda, who was looking between the two in concern, Gauche searched for something to detract from the gloomy topic. "So...Tell me about yourself."

Lag blinked owlishly, looking up from his soup. "Myself...? Like what?"

"Well..." Gauche itched his cheek, "like, what do you like to do? What was your home like?"

Lag blinked, tilting his head. "Ah...um...my home was mostly helping my mother with her sewing business. We traveled to the town next to us a lot."

Sewing? Well, he had noticed a lot of ornate pieces of decorative cloth around the house. "That seems interesting."

A nervous laugh escaped the boy. "Its not, really. I read a lot, I guess. I wasn't really allowed out on my own."

Probably to protect the citizens, more than Lag. Gauche nodded, piecing together the boy's life. A shut in. That explained why he was so fascinated by the world around him still. Taking a sip of his soup, Lag felt nausea race through him immediately.

Setting the can aside, the boy asked, "What about you? Whats your home like?"

That was easy enough to answer, Gauche mused. "Quiet. I live in Yusari with my little sister." setting his can aside, he tugged his wallet from his breast pocket, opening it up and tugging out a worn photograph. The girl in the picture was small, delicate looking with the same expressive eyes as himself, Lag mused. She was like a little doll.

"She's really cute." Lag said, smiling.

Gauche returned the easy smile, tucking the photo and wallet away. "She is. She's a crybaby though, like you."

The boy pouted, puffing out his cheeks. "Am not."

"Right." the man said, snickering.

Huffing, the boy noticed the lack of an inclusion of parents. Perhaps they were orphans? It certainly seemed that way. Gauche returned to his soup, humming a bit in thought. "We don't have parents. Our mother died during childbirth and I don't really remember anything about her."

That was tragic, Lag thought. A frown tugged at his lips. "That's really sad..."

Gauche shrugged a bit. "Its fine. It was a long time ago."

"I cant imagine life without my mother." Lag said, leaning back to look at the sea of stars above them. "I wouldn't know what to do without her."

Watching him for a moment, the man had the distinct feeling that Lag would soon learn what it was like to live without a mother. Looking into his own soup, Gauche felt his heart ache a bit. Now that was tragic. Alone in the world, and such a unique creature on top of it.

000

Lag was growing weary. Gauche could see the way the boy held his stomach, how weak he was no matter how often they stopped to rest. Roda trotted beside the boy, worried and making sure he didn't collapse.

It struck Gauche that Lag was probably hungry. It had been a week almost since he'd last eaten. The soup they ate had the impact of feeding bread to a bird. It filled him up, but it didn't provide what he needed.

Swallowing, the man wondered if there was a way to feed the boy. The Gaichu manual he carried didn't explain much, but there was no word about eating animals. If that were an option, surely Lag would have just eaten a lizard by now.

They sat down to rest at the crest of a hill, the view of the desert before them a beautiful one had either been looking. Lag dropped his suitcase and rucksack heavily, nearly collapsing to the ground. His breathing was labored, not a comforting sign.

Kneeling beside the boy, Gauche frowned. "Are you alright?"

Lag cast a glance to the man, smiling tiredly. "I-I'm alright."

From this angle, he could see the soft glow of the boy's amber eye. According to the book, it pulsated most strongly before the hybrids would begin to turn fully into Gaichu. The thought was even less comforting than the sweaty boy's harsh breathing.

Swallowing back his discomfort, he willed himself to speak. "Are...you hungry?"

The way the boy's eye flashed told him enough. Lag looked away quickly, chewing his lip hard. "I-I cant do that to you again. I'll be fine."

A shudder ran down the man's back. If possible, Gauche would love to never repeat that memory. But Lag wasn't as strong willed as he tried to be. Hunger would overwhelm him if they waited.

Sighing, the man shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve. Lag watched him in muted dread, understanding what was going to happen. Gauche presented the arm to him, still covered in scabs from the last time the boy ate.

"Go ahead."

Looking between Gauche and his arm, tears sprung to the boy's eye. "B-But...W-What if I...?"

"You wont." Gauche replied, offering a small smile. Even if he didn't feel at all safe or comfortable, he needed Lag to survive. And if this was how it had to be, he wouldn't run from it.

Swallowing hard, the boy felt his chest ache. That familiar scent was coming from the man again. He didn't want to admit how much his heart beat when he smelled it, or how much his heart sang that this man trusted him not once, but twice to be strong enough to stop.

Nodding weakly, the boy murmured, "O-Okay..."

Gauche closed his eyes, waiting for the familiar sounds of feelers emerging. Surprisingly enough, this time wasn't nearly as awful. Lag was careful, clearly aware and in control of his facilities.

More than that, there was a warm and comforting feeling welling up inside of him as Lag drank. He couldn't describe it. Only that it was like a warm hug or a thick blanket on a cold night.

When he opened his eyes again, Lag was sitting back on his heels. He wore a look of contentment, peaceful as if he'd just woken from a long nap. Even as his lips dripped with bloody saliva, he looked rather beautiful.

Snapping from his daze, the boy began to carefully clean the man's arm. He had a dazed look, as if he wasn't really seeing Gauche. When the wound was clean, he brought the limb to his mouth and gave the patches of torn skin a long lick.

A shiver ran up his spine. Eying Lag oddly, the boy glanced up, cheeks red. "T-To numb it. It'll hurt otherwise." he mumbled.

Gauche nodded, having trouble seeing what the boy was doing. His memories remained intact, miraculously enough, but his eye sight and motor skills seemed to have taken the fall this time. Once he was patched up, they sat for a long moment. Aside from how weak his legs felt, Gauche was relieved to note that he didn't feel at all as bad as he had the first time.

"Full?" he asked, reaching for his bag to dig for something to eat quickly.

Lag nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Y-Yeah."

Finding an apple, the man took a bite. He could already feel the life returning to his exhausted body. Sighing, he leaned back a bit. "That wasn't so bad, this time..."

The boy offered a nervous laugh, fidgeting with his sleeve. "I'm glad."

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	47. K12 Train

Rewrote this twice, because I was trying to catch the right mood and events. Pretty plot relevant, yay!more awkward bonding.

Also pay attention to ages now, cuz time is about to start jumping around. For plot reasons.

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"train"

The world around them was a harsh one. Lag was certain that, if magic had existed, it didn't any longer. Drifting from town to town, the pair sought shelter from the elements however they could. Most times, they couldn't afford a hotel room. They'd hole up in an abandoned building or a cave near a town.

They'd made it as far as Lamento town, dirty and exhausted after months of traveling. Sighing heavily, Gauche dug in his pocket for their small bag of money. Besides him, Lag glanced around anxiously.

The town was strangely quiet, most shops closed for the night. The few people in the inn's reception room seemed to be on their way out, heavy bags slung over their shoulders. Gauche passed the crinkled rin over the counter and the receptionist took the money eagerly.

"Lag, come on..."

Startled from his wary observations, the boy blinked and nodded. He slipped his hand into Gauche's, an unspoken gesture of anxiety. The man squeezed his hand back and they headed up the narrow flight of stairs to the left of the desk.

The room was small, one bed and a cramped bathroom. A narrow, drafty window faced the road. Over all, a luxurious room compared to the cave they'd slept in the other night. Lag headed for the bathroom, dropping his clothes by the door as he went.

Gauche couldn't find the energy to laugh at the boy's clumsy attempts to pull his socks off. He gathered the clothes up and dug in his bag for the supplies to wash them.

It had been nearly a year of hiding wherever they could, avoiding the government and the wanted posters. Gauche was fairly certain they'd be safe here, even if it was only for a night.

They both washed up, their clothes scrubbed clean and hung over the tub's curtain rod to dry. Lag had burrowed into the bed, snuggled into the scratchy blankets like a mole. Gauche envied his ability to fall asleep so easily, as he sat on the edge of the bed. The fabric was an assault on his chilly skin, and he felt distinctly uncomfortable sleeping naked, but exhaustion was winning out.

Back aching, the man squirmed to find a comfortable position, his bones creaking as they set back into place after nearly three months of sleeping on the cold hard ground. Finally though, he found a position that seemed to do the trick. Sleep found him quickly and he accepted its embrace gladly.

000

A clattering of metal and the roar of an engine woke the man early that morning. Blinking sluggishly, Gauche sat up slowly and winced as his back protested. Glancing to his side to see if Lag had heard the ruckus, he was surprised to find the bed empty.

Looking around the small room quickly, he spotted his friend at the window. He was standing on tiptoes and peering out over the window sill to see the road. Frowning, Gauche called quietly.

"Whats the matter...?"

Lag didn't turn to face him, peering fixatedly at the road. "There's trucks. They got the Bee Hive's mark on 'em."

Frowning, Gauche stood and made his way to the window. Peering out, he found that Lag had been telling the truth. A long line of heavy trucks were rumbling down the road, soldiers sitting in the back of the open ended beds. A number of people were crowding around the sidewalks, murmuring to one another.

Whatever was going on, it didn't look good. Gauche left the window and went to gather up their clothes. Blinking, Lag broke himself away from the procession of vehicles to watch his friend curiously.

Gauche tossed Lag's now dry clothes to him, before beginning to tug on his own. "We should get ready to leave."

Lag frowned, but did as he said, tugging on his boxers and undershirt clumsily. Gauche wasn't someone to overreact. They gathered up their belongings and left quickly. Making their way out of the inn, they slipped between the crowds.

At once, Gauche could tell something big was happening. The murmurs of the townsfolk were unsettling at best. Pausing behind a small trio of women, he listened.

"I hear they're going north, for that group's stronghold..."

"They're going to wipe them out, I hope..."

"That's what I heard. There's even a barricade outside of town."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you can see it from behind the Abbey!"

A barricade? That didn't sound promising. Frowning, Gauche glanced to Lag. The boy was just as involved in listening in as he'd been, and met his gaze. His one vivid eye shone with fright. Gauche could tell he was thinking about his mother.

"We need to go." the man said quietly.

Lag opened his mouth to argue, but the shadow of a truck fell over them. Inside, he could see a familiar shock of white hair and a starched lab coat. Swallowing back his complaints, Lag nodded. They left as quickly as they'd come.

000

Lag dug his heels into the recently tread earth, looking at the tire tracks with deep concentration. Gauche paused, glancing back at the boy. His face was the picture of seriousness, which would normally be adorable on an eight year old if Gauche didn't already know what his friend was thinking.

"Lag...?" he called, voice soft.

The boy kept his gaze down. "W-We have to go back."

Sighing quietly, the man felt his shoulders sink. "Lag, we cant. There's a barricade. The army is passing through."

The boy looked up, lips tugged downward. "But...But what about my mom!"

Turning to face the boy fully, the man felt exhaustion creep up his spine. "She's fine, Lag. She's behind a castle wall in an impenetrable fortress."

He wasn't deterred. "We got out."

"With keys and deception." Gauche supplied.

"But we did." Lag insisted, balling his fists at his side. "So they could get in, to."

Stepping to the boy, Gauche knelt so he could look directly into Lag's clear, sepia eye. From this angle he could more clearly see the layers of fear and worry. Bringing a hand up, the man pet him gently. Startled, the boy's lips formed a thin line.

"She'll be fine." the man said softly. "But you are the one who wont be if we go that way. You're a wanted person. They'll haul you back to Yusari and use you to barter for your mothers life. That's if they don't kill you first, because they might not recognize you."

Stiffening under the man's hand, Lag's face turned white. Sighing, Gauche drew him into a loose hug. Lag clung to him like the world might end. Nuzzling the boy's soft, clean hair, he murmured, "I promise, we'll see your mother again soon. But tonight is not the night. I promised her I'd keep you safe, Lag. So please don't make me a liar."

The boy bowed his head, sniffling loudly. "O-Okay..."

000

The doors to his mother's throne room were open, Lag noted warily. No one but the priests were allowed inside, not even himself. Peering in, he could see one of the hooded men from the procession he'd witnessed earlier. They held a long mop and were sloshing it across the floor in precise ways. Something tangy and metallic was in the air.

A great well of terror swelled up in his chest. Something was very wrong. Of course, Lag had always known his mother and himself were special. They shared a special link with their own god, one who'd seen the world at the worst part of their histories.

But something about this awful smelling room with men and their mops, didn't seem to fit in right. Swallowing hard, Lag stepped back from the door. His back hit a pair of knobby knees. Whirling around, the boy held back a sob as he peered up at familiar sepia eyes, like his own.

They didn't speak. He took their hand and let them pull him away from the door, away from that room and the murmurs inside of it.

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	48. M12 Fall

Oh boy angst city. I warned you it'd be coming. The next few chapters will have seasonal themes! So thats exciting.

I feel so bad for sabrina in this fic. She gets the crappy jobs.

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"fall"

The leaves crunched noisily underfoot as the boy raced down the street. People gasped and moved out of Lag's way, turning to look as he passed. Unsurprisingly, they were out of the loop. Word hadn't quite moved through the town the way the three had expected.

Pausing at the edge of the harbor, the boy sucked in a sharp breath. Before him was the familiar steep pathway that lead to the secluded bluff he and Gauche had often sat and talked on. Chewing his lip hard, the boy forced his tired legs to move.

He'd seen a mail truck. The first one since Gauche had been driven out by his aunt.

Heart hammering, Lag climbed the narrow little path as fast as he could. They'd promised to meet here, should anything happen. Gauche had promised. He'd never break a promise.

The view remained unchanging, gorgeous in the setting sun. Waves glittered, the stone was warm and painted in golds and russets. But there was no sign of Gauche. No sign that anyone had been here.

Shoulders slumping, Lag felt his stomach sink. Chewing his lip hard, he thought his legs might give out. Sucking in a shuddering breath, the boy tugged his coat closed. Looking down, he noticed his hands were shaking.

It had been two weeks, and he felt like it had been two years. Everything had changed abruptly and it wasn't going to switch back to normal no matter what.

Tears stung his eyes and Lag rubbed them away roughly. No, he wasn't going to think like that. It didn't matter if his aunt looked at him differently, if she didn't trust him, if she refused to believe what he said.

Two weeks didn't matter. Gauche was just waiting for things to cool down. He'd be back soon. And when he was, he and Lag could talk to his aunt and explain things. They'd go back to normal.

That's what would happen. He was sure of it.

000

"Lag, what are you doing?"

Flinching, the boy's hand froze. His feather had been scrawling across the paper quickly when his aunt had spoken. Turning to glance at the woman, he swallowed.

She looked so tired. It didn't escape him that he'd put an enormous stress on her. It didn't help that she'd had to help with a particularly troubling delivery for a couple this morning either. Her eyes landed on the paper on his desk, narrowing.

"Lag..."

Swallowing hard, Lag instinctively made to cover the letter. "I-Its just homework."

Sabrina sighed, walking over to the desk and peering over his shoulder. A deep frown tugged at her lips. "I didn't know homework went out of the city." she said.

Lag felt like his stomach might drop. "I-Its not..."

The paper was yanked out from under his hand and crumpled up. "I thought we discussed this."

Staring at the paper ball, the boy felt his eyes sting. "W-We did, b-but-"

"There's no buts." the woman snapped, frustration etched into her face. "This isn't continuing. This is your last warning."

Turning on her heel, Sabrina left the room as fast as she'd entered. Her heart ached from the look on the boy's face, but she couldn't allow him to further hurt himself. This was for his own good, she assured herself, ignoring the quiet sobs as she made her way down the stairs.

000

Aria adjusted her hold on the bag of apples she'd been carrying, raising a hand to knock on the Suede sibling's door. A few moments went by before the door opened, Sylvette's tired face peering out from the gloom of the foyer.

"Yes...? Oh, Aria!" immediately the gloom vanished from her face, replaced with a cheerful smile.

Smiling back, the woman gestured to the bag she was holding. "I stopped by the market."

Wheeling herself away from the door, the girl cooed, "Oh, apples in the fall are the best!"

Aria stepped inside, glancing around the hall. It wasn't just her imagination, things genuinely seemed gloomy. Although she couldn't truly point out what gave that aura. Sylvette guided her to the kitchen, humming.

Inside, dinner was cooking away and the table had been set for one. Blinking, Aria glanced at the girl. "No Gauche?"

Tensing minutely, the girl busied herself with checking on a pot on the stove. "No, he's away on a delivery."

A delivery. That seemed unlikely, given that she'd seen him just this afternoon. "That's too bad. Well, his loss." she teased.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Sylvette asked, turning to face her with a smile.

I cant say no to that face, Aria thought. "Sure! How can I help?"

The two busied themselves with cooking, chatting about every day things. Truth be told, as much as Aria wanted to inquire about Gauche's health, she didn't feel it right of her to do so. The girl was a wreck, from her exhausted gaze to the faded smile she wore.

Whatever had happened, had effected both siblings hard. Of course there were rumors. Aria was no stranger to those. People had been murmuring about the man and his mysterious pen pal since the letters had first started. Someone had spread the rumor that Gauche's pen pal wasn't so much a pal as a lover, and he was acting so strange because of trouble in paradise.

Aria found that to the silliest of the rumors. She knew that the letters came from a little boy named Lag. If Gauche hadn't told her, Sylvette would have. There was no romance or tragic heart break going on, at least not with a twelve year old boy.

Still, she couldn't help but worry. Something had happened, but her friends had yet to say something. Whatever it was, Aria hoped it would resolve itself soon.

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	49. C13 Stone Chairs

Yaaaay for adjusting time from the canon! A bit late to say, but this all takes place roughly over a couple of months. I felt like the manga sped way too fast through it. So tada~

warning: spoilers, ooc?

Inspiration: the stone chairs from the manga!

Disclaimer: I own nothing D;

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"stone chairs"

It felt surreal to enter this house as Noir and not Gauche. The air felt different in his lungs. The smell of Sylvette's cooking the night prior felt as if he were a stranger passing through. Even the worn floorboards felt different under his feet.

Noir had begun to insist he and Roda stay in the BeeHive, but it was a fleeting topic, silenced by the teary eyed Lag and Sylvette. Despite the lack of sense this made, Noir couldn't make the two children cry, or even think to break their hearts, after all he'd done to them. And so it had come to pass that he and his faithful friend should stay with the three children.

Sylvette guided him excitedly through the hall, Lag following behind with a strange little smile on his face. Perhaps he was thinking about the oddity of having this stranger in his home, instead of his long lost idol.

Dinner was served hastily, a simple spread of food rather than the enormous feast from the night before. They'd had a long night with far too many secrets revealed and too many lives lost. No one had the energy to work too hard at cooking. Even still, it tasted as good as the first time Noir had eaten it.

After washing up and putting away dishes and dirty laundry, another problem arose.

Cramming five people into a home meant for two was a troublesome thing to do. Naturally, someone was going to be displaced. Noir adjusted his position on the couch, squirming to get comfortable. Roda had taken the arm chair near him, legs folded neatly to her chest.

Lag had immediately offered his bed up to his former idol, but Noir couldn't in good conscience sentence the boy to an unpleasant night on the couch or floor. Lag had a taxing day of deliveries to look forward to, he'd explained, and insisted on the couch. The disappointed look in the boy's eye was almost enough to make him reconsider.

When the lights had gone out, Noir was, for the first time in days, alone with his thoughts. Cluttered tangles of words and fleeting ideas buzzed noisily in his mind, the silence of the dark little living room making the noise that much more noticeable.

The couch was too lumpy in all the wrong places. Cold seeped into his bones, the dying embers of the fireplace providing little warmth. He could hear the house settling around him, the groans of the wood and stone driving anxious shudders up and down his spine.

His first night as Noir in the Suede's house left things to be desired.

000

Noir doesn't like the way people eye him when he makes his way through the BeeHive. People whisper, all eyes turned on him the moment that he enters. The first time it happened, he'd been certain someone would attack him. Part of him expected a repeat of his first meeting with Lag, some desperate person sobbing and begging him to remember them.

The man was infinitely relieved that that never happened.

000

Dinner is on the table by five thirty and Lag is home by six. Noir returns from working at the lab with Thunderland Jr near six thirty. The importance of the time eludes him entirely. He's busily washing his face, and at Roda's silent urging, he makes his way to the kitchen.

It only takes one missed dinner to remind Noir to return earlier. The looks of disappointment and wistful smiles on their soft cheeked faces turns his stomach.

"Its alright," Sylvette says, pulling out a casserole pan from the warming oven with a smile. "You didn't know."

000

Thunderland Jr works him to the bone. Noir can feel the sweat cooling on his skin in the stale air of the lab, running the back of his hand over his forehead. Strands of hair plaster where he hadn't bothered to brush them aside first.

Now and then, he could spot the Deputy Director gazing from afar. Her shoulders would draw up and her jaw would tighten, her eyes blurry with emotions that Noir couldn't hope to understand. She stirred something in his chest similarly to the way Lag did, an unsettling feeling he absolutely did not like.

The times when Sylvette comes to visit, a thermos full of the soup Lag hates so much laying in her lap, are the highlights of Noir's time in the lab. She always regards him with a soft smile, eyes swimming with adoration. Noir knew that she had doubts, questions, so much to say... but she never does.

The long nights of firing off Heart bullets are tiring and they bleed together. Some days, Noir scarcely has the energy to leave the lab and falls asleep on a couch or a cot in the medical wing. It makes the living arrangements easier, but the man cant stand the hurt it puts in Lag and Sylvette's eyes.

But they know and understand the strong, burning need to know what happened to him. They understand that its only in his nature to work so hard that he forgets everything and everyone. Its the one thing, he thinks, that Noir and Gauche share.

The thought of the stranger who shares his face pushes Noir to work harder.

000

Some things were heavy and difficult topics to work his way around. Things like how Noir felt for Sylvette, the sister he'd lost and regained. Some things he didn't even contemplate if he could help it, such as the way Lag made his heart rattle around in his ribs.

Other things were complicated and awkward, like bathroom schedules. The narrow house had only one bathroom, and everyone had a different schedule. Lag and Niche woke up early for their morning rituals to prepare for the day. Sylvette required a longer amount of time to get washed up or do her business, her wheelchair still bulky and awkward to move around even after years of use.

Noir was not sure how he fit in. He was used to doing what he needed, when he needed, and not shuffling outside of a door, praying to the Empress that Lag would just _hurry up_.

Although nothing quite topped Niche barging in while he was bathing, perfectly unaware of how uncomfortable the man was as she made her way to the toilet. He hadn't really known how to react. Luckily, Lag charged in, crying out a sharp "Niche, you cant just barge into the bathroom with him!" that rang out far too loud in the tiled room.

The boy had apologized profusely, covering his own and Niche's eyes as he fumbled for the door. Noir still wasn't sure how to feel as the door closed a tad too loud. Violated was one way to sum it up.

000

Sometimes, when time and schedules permit, Noir and Lag sit up in the living room and talk. The hearth glows gently in the darkness, illuminating the boy in soft oranges and rusts. His eye glitters when he talks about something that he likes.

Noir enjoys hearing Lag's stories of his journeys through Amberground. He loves the childish wonder in the boy's tales and voice. Lag focuses on positives, only the best in people, in his stories. Noir wonders how someone so good can exist in such a miserable and corrupt world.

Somewhere between the story of how Lag reunited a servant and her best friend, a story about a chair maker comes up. Lag's voice falters a bit, eye lowering to the worn rug under their feet.

"I cant believe adults act like that." he mumbled, rubbing at his eye a bit.

Noir represses the urge to chuckle, sensing the shift in mood. "Adults do strange things."

The boy is silent for a few moments, before murmuring, "I never understood it before, how they tried to protect each other by ignoring how they felt. But I think...I think I understand a bit now."

At first, Noir is surprised at such a difficult topic. He expected the boy to gloss over the cruelty the couple had expressed, even in the face of love and longing. Part of him dreads the direction the conversation might turn. Lag toyed with his bangs idly, mulling something over that, for the life of him, Noir cant read in the boy's distant gaze.

"Shaz said..." he began, pausing to collect his thoughts. "Shaz compared living with her husband to those stone chairs. That they were hard and unbearable at first."

Lag turned his gaze to Noir, determination and the fire playing tricks with his vivid sepia eye. The man felt his heart jump. "And I know...I know its gotta be hard, to live here. A-And deal with all the things you do."

The boy took a breath, closing his eye for a moment. "But I want to believe that...that like those chairs, it'll get warm and comfortable for you here. That you wont leave again..." he trailed off, realizing that he was expressing things he hadn't yet felt sure of himself enough to say.

A flurry of emotion welled up in Noir's chest. Its such an innocent thing to say. Such a heartfelt and honest admission. And filled with so much hope, that Noir cant bear the thought of ever letting down Lag's dreams of a happy little family with himself and their rag-tag group.

Reaching out, he ruffled the boy's hair and smiled softly. "Don't worry about it, Lag. You wont be so lucky to get rid of me that easily."

Whining with the ruffle, the boy blinked. Cheeks turning red, he sucked in a sharp breath and bit his lip. Noir recognized the glassy look in his eye as the pre-crybabies, and flicked his nose lightly.

"No crying." he chided lightly.

Yelping, Lag covered his nose and pouted, huffing. "I-I wasn't gonna cry..."

000

Noir isn't sure when he started sharing the bed with Lag. He knows it had to have happened after the boy caught him sitting up from the couch, a quiet groan escaping him as his back cracked audibly. Noir couldn't quite bend his neck comfortably to see the scandalized expression Lag wore, but he could _smell_ the way his feathers ruffled.

Lag tried, in what the Noir assumed were subtle ways, to make Noir's stay comfortable. He'd been trying since night one. Sometimes Noir would find extra food set out for him, or more pillows.

Lately, it had taken a strange (although cute) turn. Lag murmured in the semi-silence of the living room, "Could you help me carry Niche? She fell asleep and she's so heavy."

Noir didn't have the heart to point out that Lag was more than capable of lifting the little Maka girl, or that he could simply wake her up. He pushed aside the blankets, carefully hefted Niche into his arms and followed the boy up the narrow, creaky stairs.

It was no secret, at least not to Noir, that his little friend was attempting to trick him into sleeping in the bed. It was almost humorous, however, when Lag realized the impracticality almost too late.

To dare Noir was a dangerous thing. Let no one say that the man would not rise to any challenge. Lag realized this all too late. If the boy wanted him to get in that bed, he would get in that bed. Even if it meant squashing the boy against the wall.

Lag shuffled awkwardly, squirming to find a comfortable position. Glancing over his shoulder, he could just make out the outline of Noir's head over Niche's glossy hair. Despite the cramped position, the man seemed genuinely comfortable. A small smile tugged at Lag's lips, relief swelling in his chest.

One point to him.

000

Roda had trouble finding a comfortable rhythm to her days. Where Noir went, Roda went. It was a simple fact that no one debated. The real trouble came with waiting for her partner to finish doing whatever he was doing.

Sometimes she'd allow herself to wander the rooms nearest to Noir in the labs. She'd find a comfortable spot to curl up with some ancient looking book that Aria had offered to her. At home, she fought the feeling of being a fifth wheel.

Niche, especially, went out of her way to remind her of how unnecessary she was. It wasn't as if Roda needed to be reminded. Society reminded her. The looks people gave her on the street reminded her.

And recently, Noir's new sleeping arrangements reminded her. There was no possible way for her to fit on the narrow bed that already had two too many occupants.

Noir's response had been to bring up the too small bed with Lag and Sylvette. The two children, at once, were aflutter with apologies, realizing how this must have affected Roda. She tried not to feel self conscience as they asked what she'd like to do.

What could she possibly say? She wanted to go home with Noir. They didn't belong here. Noir, instead of voicing her thoughts, proposed a larger mattress. Lag nodded quickly, a bright smile on his face.

"That would definitely work!"

It was not going to work. There was no way they could fit something much larger than another twin bed in that room beside Lag's already small bed. Sylvette suggested, eying Lag's teary face, that they simply get a size bigger mattress and bed frame.

And so began the process of moving furniture. Before long, they'd replaced Gauche's old and worn out bed with a full sized mattress and frame. It took away a lot of floor space. Roda felt almost squashed in the room.

Come bed time, however, she couldn't deny the pleasing feeling of laying down flat. Least of all curled up next to Noir, one of his arms wrapped around her loosely. The sounds of the other occupants as they slept was distracting, at best, but Roda found it hard to complain.

Perhaps she could get used to this life.

000

Her name was Aria. Noir sounded out the strange name to himself as the woman set down a tray of tea. Herbal, she'd said, a recent experiment from a young scientist who'd lost her sight. The woman explained that Gauche had helped the girl validate her studies, that the new relaxation rooms were a blessing to the world weary Bees.

She had a light, tinkling voice. Noir could understand how someone as lovely and melodious as Aria could reach such a high rank. Sipping his tea tiredly, the man listening to her as she talked about the BeeHive and its inner workings. It wasn't as if he was unaware of these things, but she put a spin on the news that told more of the people she spoke of.

More and more often, Noir found that Aria was in the lab with a tray of tea. He wasn't sure what to make of her. When she left, Thunderland Jr explained that she had been someone special to Gauche. A friend, possibly more.

Noir felt his skin crawl at the thought of his body having touched someone else's. He detested the mere idea of not knowing if it had. At least Aria didn't attempt to rekindle whatever she and Gauche had been apart of. She seemed content to be acquaintances.

It wasn't lost on Noir though, the wistful looks she aimed at him when she thought he couldn't see.

Regardless, he was thankful to have her company. He looked forward to those warm cups of tea and her melodious voice as she told him stories of her time as a Bee.

000

"Its been a month." Lag said around his toothbrush, voice garbled by toothpaste.

Noir paused, soapy hands mid tangle in his hair. "Has it really been that long?"

"Its gone pretty fast." the boy mused, running the brush under the sink's faucet.

It felt longer, Noir thought contrarily. Had it really only been a month? Rinsing his hair off, the man frowned a bit. He did not enjoy time lapses. It felt too much like he was losing his memories again, as if some dark void might swallow up Noir like it had Gauche.

As if sensing the man's mood, Lag paused in his morning ritual. "Its a good thing though. It means you're settling in well." he said, a bright smile on his foamy mouth.

Noir couldn't see the smile around the shower curtain, but he could hear it in Lag's voice. Stepping away from the dark thoughts, the man took a slow breath. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"So don't worry." Lag said, filling a cup with water. "I'm sure in a few more months, you wont even think about how fast time is flying."

Would he really be here in another few months? Their lives were so chaotic. Death was a constant, something that followed them the way a ghost follows you from one haunting to the next. Noir couldn't imagine this lasting that long.

Still, he wanted to think that this wonderful life could last. He wanted it to be true.

000


	50. B13 Sunshine

Pure madness. Thats what this is. Just adorable stupid fluff interspersed with plot and climax stuff. But hopefully it'll be good?

Warning: mild ooc, fluff, a kiss? Ish?

Disclaimer: I won nothing D:

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"sunshine"

That night, they camped out on the crest of the hill that overlooked the desert. In the dim light of the stars and the fire, Lag watched the white sand twinkle like gems. They were nearly complete with their journey, he thought.

Gauche turned the lizards they'd caught, watching the flames lick at the charring skin. A weight settled in his chest, a reminder that tomorrow they'd need to make a decision. One he'd already made, long ago.

Glancing between the lizards and Gauche, Lag swallowed back his unease. "S-So...tomorrow, we'll be almost there..."

The man busied himself with checking their dinner. "Yeah. Tomorrow we'll have to part ways."

A dull ache surged through the boy. He watched his new friend with a feeling of betrayal welling up. Chewing his lip, Lag looked back at the desert. It wasn't as if he hadn't already known this would happen. This was a good thing, he reminded himself.

"Yeah..."

They ate in silence, picking around the bones of the animal. Roda nibbled away at her dinner, sensing the melancholy saturate the small group. She gave a low whine, ears laying back. Gauche blinked, glancing over and sighing. He reached over and scratched behind her ears.

"I guess even Roda is sad..."

Lag flicked a rib bone absently. "I wish we didn't have to go separate ways..."

"It isn't like this is the last time we'll see one another." Gauche said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Looking back to the man, Lag blinked in surprise. "Really?"

His smile turned warm and wide. "Of course. You could write to me. And maybe someday we will run into each other. You're free now, there's no telling what could happen."

A warmth surged through the boy's chest. Swallowing back his tears, he found his own smile. "T-Thats true..."

Gauche felt the tension ease and he finished his meal peacefully. A gust caused the fire's flames to flicker a bit and he winced a bit at the chill. Lag blinked, watching a parade of downy white drift around them. He caught one, curious.

"Its the fluff from the flowers blooming in the desert." Gauche explained, brushing some of the pollen from his shirt.

"It looks like snow." Lag mused, letting the little fluff ball drift from his hand and into the darkness around them.

The fluff meandered lazily, carving its own path even as it left the safety of its home below them. Lag wondered if he could be that strong, to let go and let what may come, come.

000

The desert spread out before them like a great shifting white ocean. Lag watched the sand shift at his feet, the grains catching in the laces of his boots. Swallowing hard, the boy felt like a rock had settled in his chest.

Gauche stood beside him, looking over his map. Truth be told, he was just biding his time. He didn't want to proceed with what he'd decided on. Looking down at the boy, he felt his chest ache. This felt all wrong.

"Lag..."

The boy flinched, shoulders tensing up. He didn't meet Gauche's eyes. "Y-Yes?"

Taking a deep breath, the man closed his eyes. This was the best option, he thought. This would save Lag, save himself. Everything would go back to the way it should be. So why did it feel completely wrong?

"This is where we part ways." he said, as evenly as he could.

He didn't miss the quiver that shot through the boy's body. No matter what he said, this would be difficult, Gauche thought. Lag let his head tilt down, tears welling and the bubble of despair growing in his chest.

A hand settled on his shoulder, gentle and anchoring. Swallowing, Lag recalled their conversation the night before. This wasn't truly a goodbye. Wiping his eye with the back of his hand, he looked up and fought through his sorrow for a smile.

"W-We'll see each other again, right?"

A stab of guilt jolted the man at the sight of the boy's tears. "Of course, Lag."

The boy's quivering smile didn't fool anyone as he closed his eye, attempting to stem his tears. "T-Then...i-its okay, I'm not really sad."

What a poor liar, Gauche thought, kneeling to wrap his arms around the quivering child. He pulled him into a tight hug, one hand gently petting the boy's head. "Its not forever." Gauche affirmed.

Lag tried too late to stop a sob from escaping, his tears fat and flowing steadily. Sniffling noisily, he buried his face in the man's shoulder. His sobs came unbidden, betraying just how not okay he really was with this parting, temporary or not.

After a long few minutes, he felt like he was all cried out. Gauche pulled back, ruffling his hair gently. "I'll give you a map, so just follow it. You should be careful though, they might be looking for you in the town."

Lag nodded dumbly, hiccuping. He scrubbed his sticky cheeks as Gauche dug in his bag for a spare map. It was outdated, but this part of the continent hadn't changed much, so Gauche was confident that Lag would be fine.

Only once he'd gone over the map a few times, was Gauche comfortable letting the boy go. He did it with a heavy heart and a turning stomach, watching the boy go for a long while before turning away. If he lingered, one or both of them might change their minds.

Roda stayed for a moment longer, before following after her partner.

000

Sand, Lag found, was difficult to walk on. It shifted constantly and sunk with every step. His boots did little good, as there was nothing to grip with the grooves in his shoes. Wiping a hand across his forehead, the boy peered up at the bank of stars above him.

He'd only been walking for half an hour and already he felt lost. The map and compass he'd been given helped, but the ever shifting sands made everything look the same to him. Sighing, Lag looked back down at the map.

If he ever made it to Cambel Litus, it'd be a miracle, he mourned. A breeze startled him and he clung to the map to keep it from flying away. Cracking his eye open, he blinked, a single white fluff dancing around his head. He turned to watch it float back towards the Blue Pumpkin mountains.

An odd feeling bloomed, like he'd been told a secret but couldn't remember it.

Swallowing hard, Lag felt the feeling turn heavy. Something was wrong, he thought. He wasn't sure what told him so, but it did.

Turning on his heel, the boy began to hurry after the distant fluff and the dark silhouette of the mountains.

000

Sighing, Gauche tried to push aside the forlorn feelings in his heart. Beside him, Roda trotted gloomily along the narrow roads. It didn't quite feel right to travel without Lag. This was exactly why he shouldn't have gotten so attached, he mourned.

Still, how did someone not bond with a kid like Lag? Even if he hadn't been inhuman, Gauche would have had trouble, he mused.

Regardless, it was for the best. He'd just have to continue forward. Without Lag, he wondered if he'd have more trouble with Gaichu. It shouldn't be a problem, he thought. Glancing at his map, the man thought of how to improve the records on this route. It wasn't exactly well routed and even the type of Gaichu that resided here wasn't listed.

Beside him, Roda paused, ears tilting. Gauche stopped, turning to look at his Dingo. Swallowing, he felt his heart beat just a bit faster. A Gaichu already? A screech echoed into the dark, cavernous ravine he'd been walking through, a chill rushing up his spine.

A shadow fell over him, missing the man narrowly as he bolted from his spot. Stopping some distance away, Gauche felt his stomach clench. A standard Gaichu, he thought, a Daikiri. This would be no problem.

Hand moving for his gun, he took a steadying breath. Nothing like work to forget your troubles.

000

Lag's sides were searing, his legs already numb with exhaustion as he stumbled over the sand smoothed rocks that lead into the dark and cramped ravine he'd left just a short while ago. He wasn't sure quite what was pushing him onward, but something told him that something very bad was about to happen.

Pausing, the boy leaned over his knees and wheezed. Being a shut in really had its disadvantages. His vision was swimming with the effort to keep moving. Fumbling for his canteen, Lag took a long swig.

He felt like throwing up. What was he doing? Gauche would be really upset if he showed up and nothing was wrong. Sighing, Lag wondered if he was just using this as an excuse to stick around the man. It wasn't as if he was oblivious to how his heart beat around him, or even how terrified he was to be alone.

Sighing, Lag wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and put away the canteen. He would just check up on him and then turn around. No harm done.

A great tremor shook him from his thoughts, rocking the boy. Stumbling a bit, Lag felt his heart stop for a second as he sensed a great collection of Heart ahead of him. Swallowing hard, the boy stood and hurried through the ravine.

"G-Gauche!" he cried, pushing aside his nausea and exhaustion. "I-I knew something was wrong!"

000

Gauche drew a shaky hand over his brow, trying to slow his labored breathing. Around him lay great heaps of metal, the glow in the gems that decorated it having lost their gleam. Along the walls, massive arches of sleek metal legs kept at least a dozen more Gaichu secured to the stone.

Why were there so many? He'd done nothing to alert this many to his presence, and his bag was mostly empty. What had prompted so many at once?

Beside him, Roda was just as exhausted, breathing hard. He wasn't sure how much more of these he could fight off. His vision was edged with darkness, a sign that physically, he was near his limit. Lag had eaten a lot of his Heart the other day, he mused. That was probably why he was so low still on ammo.

A screech echoed, deafening in the enclosed ravine, and a Gaichu leaped from the wall. Sucking in a sharp breath, Gauche dove out of the way. There wasn't much room to move around, the thing would be on him in seconds. Readying his gun, he waited for the Gaichu to charge, before firing.

It pulsed briefly, before shattering. Gauche did his best to navigate the rain of metal. His vision was fading, his legs felt like they might give way. Breathing hard, the man scrubbed at his eye with the heel of his palm.

No, he wasn't going to let these things eat him. He wasn't going to die like this.

"Gauche!"

Startled, the man jerked his head towards the sound. His heart skipped a beat, spotting the familiar sight of his little friend amidst the crowds of Gaichu. Lag rushed around the massive beasts as if they were just scenery, his cheeks flushed and chest heaving.

For a moment, Gauche thought he might be hallucinating. The Gaichu seemed to regard the boy as if he was just another member of their group, hardly paying him any attention. He paused before the man, leaning heavily on his knees and wheezing. Gauche watched him, heart surging with a myriad of emotions.

"L-Lag...?" he murmured, too exhausted to muster much more.

Peering up at the exhausted man through his lashes, Lag smiled weakly. "I-I had a feeling something bad was happening..."

So many questions swirled around his head, but the encroaching Gaichu reminded the man that they wouldn't wait for much longer. They must have sensed something off about Lag.

"Y-You should get out of here, while you still can." Gauche said, taking the moment to lean against the uneven wall.

Lag bit his lip, a frown forming. "Your Heart is so low..."

"Lag-"

"I'll help you." The boy said firmly, balling his fists. "I can help!"

Gauche opened his mouth to speak, before snapping it shut as a screech sounded off. The Gaichu had grown tired of waiting it seemed, storming over their way. Lag swallowed hard, looking at the hulking creature. He could do this.

"I-If you need more Heart, I'll get you some!" he called.

Gauche grabbed the boy and pulled them out of the way of the Gaichu's path. "How?"

Lag wasn't sure exactly. He could sense the vast pockets of drifting, forgotten Heart all around them, still pouring from the remains of the Gaichu Gauche had shot down. If he could just find a way to share that swell of Heart...

The creature turned to face them, and at once, Lag remembered how Gauche had fed Lag. There was no real guarantee, but Lag thought it was the best chance they had. Focusing on pulling that excess Heart into himself, the boy took a deep breath. He gathered it up, condensed it, and pushed it upward.

Turning in Gauche's hold, the boy took the man's face in his hands. Confused, Gauche looked at him oddly, momentarily forgetting the Gaichu. "Lag...?"

Lag's one eye flickered, snowy locks of hair billowing up and around a plume of shimmering Heart that poured from his amber eye. In a swift, clumsy movement, he pressed his lips hard to the man's. Gauche let out a sound of shock, which Lag used to his advantage.

Gauche almost gagged as he felt a bundle of feelers push into his mouth, attaching themselves to him. What the hell...? A warm flood of Heart surged through him. Surprised, the man realized that Lag was channeling the Heart around them into himself.

A screech startled them, and the feelers left as fast as they'd came. Gauche lifted his gun, the Gaichu already upon them, before firing. As the creature pulsed, he grabbed Lag and bolted, narrowly avoiding the shower of armor.

Lag yelped as they stopped short, dangling like a doll in Gauche's arms. His cheeks were beet red, heart drumming with a mixture of terror and exhilaration. The man stood tall, exhaustion ebbing away as the excess of Heart surged through him.

The thought that they could survive this swelled in his chest as Gauche spotted Roda climbing through the heaps of armor to stand beside him.

0000000000

whats that I hear? "colo you didn't need to force in the kissing thing. Lag could literally have put his feelers anywhere else! You did that purely for the romance you trash heap!" why yes. Yes I did~ I regret nothing.


	51. K13 Butterfly

So fun fact! I had like a mini adventure planned but then I realized i'd have to squash it into one chapter and no matter how much I tried, I absolutely couldnt. And I really tried, for a few months. Hence, the extreme lapse in updates D; forgive me.

But oh boy, the plot really kicks in now. We begin to find out all sorts of stuff in the next 2 chapters! And whats that I hear, is it...uncomfortable topics coming up? Oh boy~

warning: the topic of pedophilia I suppose?

Disclaimer: I own nada, zilch, zero~

h-hopefully its a good enough chapter that people dont hate it to death.

0000000000

"butterfly"

Their breath misted before them, obscuring the world momentarily as it drifted away. All around them were the remnants of a town long since razed to the ground. Lag gave the charred wooden rubble a passing glance, his gaze steady and as icy as the snow covered landscape around them.

Gauche adjusted his grip on their worn and weathered shared rucksack, looking around in much the same way. A dull sting told him something tragic happened here, but he had little empathy left for strangers or the dead.

"Lets keep going." the man said, voice low and tired. "Blue Note Blues is still a few miles away."

The boy nodded, picking his feet up and moving through the deep snow with some effort. He hadn't been in the snow in a long while, having spent so much time hiding in the south of Amberground. It simply hadn't been safe to go anywhere near this part of the world in a very long time.

As far as the eye could see, snowy hills and iced over lakes spread out before the duo. It brought back memories of running under the expansive, never ending bank of stars with Lag, barefoot and _free_. Nothing could ever quite compare to the euphoria of escaping into such a beautiful world with someone he loved.

Tonight was a clear night as well. The stars spread out in clusters that seemed to surround them on the mountain pass they were walking through. It was like a river of diamonds, Gauche thought, feeling his heart beat just a hair faster.

Beside him, Lag's eye glittered with the lights as he paused to stare up at the sky. His hair caught the shimmering of the sky and snow, breathtaking, and it took Gauche a long moment to remind himself that he wasn't supposed to stare at his friend like this.

It took a lot of effort, but he tore his gaze away and back to the sky. The small, crybaby child had grown into a handsome boy, nearly to Gauche's chest. His hair had grown long, chopped short with a knife only just recently, and his eye had taken on a sharp look to it. The plumpness Lag once had, had given way to long, lanky limbs.

At one point, Gauche could have described Lag as feminine, but it would be hard to mistake the thirteen year old for anything but the budding young man he had grown into now. And with these changes, came the daunting task of guiding Lag through something Gauche only barely grasped himself.

Sighing, the man forced himself to focus on the snowy trail, navigating the slippery road with mild difficulty. Lags steadily growing body, his uncomfortable new feelings for the boy, none of this was important right now. They were exhausted, cold, hungry and this mountain was dangerous. He needed to focus.

Through the lightly falling snow, they spotted the cluttered collection of lights and houses, smoke climbing through the perpetual night sky lazily. Gauche heaved a sigh of relief, turning to glance at Lag.

The way his friend was staring at the town, Gauche knew he remembered it. Probably much more clearly than he himself ever would. This had been the place Lag was born, where he'd lived as a prince and idol. Where his beloved mother lived.

Two years ago, Lag would have bolted unthinkingly down the side of the mountain, probably to his death. Time and the harsh reality of the world around them had dulled that purity. He just stayed staring, jaw clenching and shoulders drawn.

Gauche set a hand on his shoulder, anchoring him to the present. Lag started, looking up to the man. For a moment, he just looked at him, searching the tired man's features for something. Somehow, Lag found a smile to tug on like a sweater.

Butterflies raged in Gauche's stomach. But the smile was not for him, he knew.

000

Snow fell lazily, almost seeming to stand still in the sharp mountain air. The quaint town of Blue Notes Blues that he had once upon a time gazed at from his frosty window was now a shell of its former glory. All around them, were charcoal sticks that once were sturdy beams and crumbling hearths from homes no more.

Chewing his lip, the boy looked around in a daze, lost in his memories. Beside him, Gauche eyed the destruction around them. The government had not been kind. For this very reason, he'd kept the boy away from the town for so long. All along their journey here, scars of battles past marked the land. It only seemed right that this snowy little town, the epicenter of so much grief, would bear the strongest marks.

The duo trekked onward, heading for the smudges of smoke against the inky sky. The long winter nights were especially cruel here. Hopefully, they could find an inn or a kind soul. Or a cave, if it came to that.

Past the burned out husks, squat buildings emerged from the darkness. A warmth filled the boy as he noted the cheerful fires in the windows and candles in bedroom window sils. Even in the midst of so much chaos, people still found room for happiness.

A frozen fountain sat in the middle of the town, shadowed by a looming wall and crumbling spires. A pit formed in Gauche's stomach. He didn't think he could handle returning to that miserable place.

Casting a glance to Lag, he felt his stomach drop. A small smile turned the corners of his lips. Lag, in spite of how terrified Gauche felt, was home. He was finally back in the place he'd loved. A shudder ran through him. "We should find a place to stay, Lag."

He received a grunt for his time. Lag continued to stare up at the silhouette of his home. A growing panic welled up in the man's stomach and he felt the desperate need to shake the boy out of his trance.

A soft gasp startled the man from his panic. Turning, Gauche felt the lump in his throat stick. A young woman stood there, a basket dangling from her arm. Her wide eyes were stuck to the back of Lag's head.

"I-Its you...Y-You've come back to us!" she cried, shaking with the strain of emotion.

It took a moment for Gauche to connect the dots, before he felt the hazy memory surface. Lag, finally tearing his gaze from the fortress beyond, turned to look at the girl quizzically. He didn't recognize her at all.

"What are you talking about...?" Lag murmured, hand moving to his waist band.

The girl, oblivious to the unspoken threat, continued to babble. "Y-You're the empress's child, the one who's supposed to bring us out of the darkness!"

Understanding lit up the boy's face. All at once, his hand dropped from his hip and a small, relieved smile swept away the doubt from his eye. A worshiper. He'd almost forgotten about them. "I've come back..." he said softly. "How is my mother? I miss her so much."

Eying the boy, Gauche worried his lip. The girl's joyous expression froze, and then crumpled. Looking down, she fumbled for the right words. "She...I..."

Lag's jaw clenched and his hand twitched. "She, what?"

The girl looked like she might start crying, before a large hand settled over her head, ruffling her hair gently. The trio looked up, startled. The hand belonged to a hefty man, middle aged perhaps, with a curly white mustache and a balding head to match. He wore a warm smile, as if this sort of occurrence was rehearsed.

"Please, forgive her." he said cheerfully, "Its only natural for her to be so overwhelmed. We didn't think we'd ever see our messiah ever again."

The line of the boy's lips grew stiff. "That's not very reassuring."

"Its been...a very hard time, since you went missing." the man said, smile wavering in the face of what Gauche were sure were bitter memories. "Why don't we talk this over inside? I'm sure you two must be cold and hungry."

Not to mention filthy and exhausted, Gauche mused. Glancing to the boy, he was relieved to see his little friend chance a quick glance to him as well. Swallowing, Lag nodded. "We'd really like that."

000

Dinner, Gauche decided, was decidedly...unique. A seemingly still twitching lizard sat on each of their plates, an array of what looked like half thawed side dishes centered around what Gauche assumed was the main course.

The man, as it happened, was the village chief. He had welcomed them into his massive, although worn with age, home. "Eat, eat, you both look so thin!" a plump woman said, a warm smile on her tired face as she set down a tray of tea.

Far be it for him to turn down the first real meal they'd had in weeks. Carefully cutting into the lizard, Gauche took a bite and felt his back crawl. Gross...

Beside him, Lag ate with much more gusto, an expression of quiet joy dying his cheeks red. A small smile curved his lips as he dove into what looked like ice...pudding? Well, if Lag – picky eater, fickle child that he was – could eat this, Gauche certainly could. Truth be told, he'd never been privy to Blue Notes Blues' cuisine. He'd gotten porridge or whatever was stuffed through the slat of his cell most days.

The chief poured cups of tea for them each, smile ever present. It must be strange to host someone you'd regarded as a deity all your life, Gauche mused. "After you eat, you're welcome to take a bath and retire, if you'd like. We have a lot to talk about, when you're ready."

"Thank you very much, sir." the boy said, setting his fork on his plate lightly. "I'd like to know what happened here. Is the fortress still operating...?"

Sighing quietly, the man stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Right to the hard parts. Well, I'll be honest with you then." he said, looking the boy in the eye. "We were devastated. Our defenses were spread out so thin, the army hardly had to work to obliterate them. The fortress is..." here he paused, trying to find the right words. "No longer in use."

Lag's lips tugged down into a frown, teeth catching one to worry at. "So...everyone is...?"

A long, pregnant silence hung between the two. Lag cast his gaze at his empty plate, expression empty. Swallowing, the boy closed his eye and said softly, "I'd like to be excused, if its alright."

The man nodded with a solemn expression. "Of course. Let me have someone show you to your room."

000

It was dark when Gauche stepped into the room. They'd each been given a spacious guest room to stay in, complete with what had to have been a nice fire before Lag had come in. The wood was frigid under the man's damp feet as he made his way hesitantly towards Lag's bed.

The boy's shoulders and side rose and fell in quick succession under the thick bed sheets. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Gauche ran a hand over the boy's still greasy hair. A shaky breath escaped the lump of blankets. Turning, Lag burrowed his face in the man's stomach. A hand emerged from the cocoon of warmth to grasp at the loose sweater Gauche had been allowed to use, knuckles white.

Neither of them spoke. In the soft yellow light from the lamp posts outside, the boy's hair glowed a sickly gold. Every few seconds, weak gasps escaped him and with each one, Gauche's sweater dampened. Running a hand gently through the slick locks of hair, the man felt his heart break.

He couldn't stand seeing Lag like this.

After a while, the boy's quiet sobs faded. His grip remained tight and Gauche knew he wasn't going to let go that night. Lifting the blanket, the man began to climb in. Lag squirmed the minimal distance required to allow the man passage into the bed without letting go of him. Laying down heavily, Gauche sighed. It felt so good to be in a bed again. Lag curled against him, face buried in his shoulder.

They stayed that way, clinging and silent, the rest of the night.

0000000000


	52. M13 Winter

So I had a ton of things I _wanted_ to write, a ton of things I needed to write and a ton of things in between. We get a bit more of gauche, a lot more zazie and more of sabrina's thoughts on the situation. Its kind of a mess but i'm happy enough with it I guess.

Warning: none? Angst? 

Onward!

0000000000

"winter"

Zazie sat across from the boy, petting one of the cats that had followed them to Lag's home. The fire crackled merrily and the small room was actually quite comfortable for the tail end of November. They'd been out playing in the snow, although mostly it was just Zazie's excuse to pelt poor Connor with snowballs.

"I have a request." Lag stammered, playing with his cup of cocoa.

Looking up from the cat, Zazie blinked. "Yeah? What is it?"

Lag swallowed back his nausea. "Could you mail a letter for me?"

Zazie raised an eyebrow, "Cant you do it yourself?"

All at once, Lag's fragile hopeful expression crumbled like a snowball. The boy bit his lip, looking down. How could he explain this? There was just no way to say it. Even though he'd waited his his aunt to leave the house...

"Lag...?"

Snapping out of his panic, the boy realized Zazie was still waiting for an answer. Taking a sip of his cocoa, Lag pushed down his terror. "M-My aunt would stop me. I cant mail anything without her looking through it..."

This struck Zazie as strange. Frowning, the boy tentatively asked, "Does this have to do with Gauche...?"

His composure slipped, a sob bubbling up. Startled, Zazie fumbled for words, "H-Hey, its okay! Don't cry!"

Rubbing his eye clumsily, the boy felt stupid. He had rehearsed this in his head for days, but somehow, hearing the man's name had struck him deep. "I-I'm sorry..." he babbled, "I-I..."

Sighing, Zazie itched his head. "Listen, you don't gotta tell me. I'll mail you're letter, alright? Where is it?"

Blinking, the boy snuffled and grabbed for a tissue. "I-I haven't written it..."

Rolling his eyes, Zazie couldn't help but find it almost comical. Leave it to Lag to get so emotional over a letter he hadn't even written. "Fine. Tell me when you're done then."

A smile tugged at his lips, the boy beaming. "T-Thank you, Zazie!"

"Yeah, yeah, wipe your nose."

000

"Thanks for coming with me, brother." Sylvette said, smiling as she wheeled her way through the thick coating of snow on the ground.

Gauche adjusted his hold on the bag of groceries, attempting to get the feeling back into his numb fingertips. His thin gloves did nothing against the frigid temperatures of winter in Yusari. "Its nothing. Its too cold, you shouldn't be out..."

The girl laughed, high and tinkling in the still air. "This is nothing for Syl-Syl!"

A smile tugged at the man's mouth. "I suppose. This is a lot of groceries though."

Humming to herself, Sylvette wheeled up to the door to their house, digging in her pocket for the key. "I invited Aria and Lag to come visit! Christmas is much more fun with others."

A dull ache filled the man's chest. He'd done his best not to think of Lag. Although, a letter coming from their address might cause more trouble than intended...

"I don't think Lag will be coming." Gauche said, tentatively feeling for the right words.

Sylvette had just opened the door to the house, keys still in her hand. Frowning, the girl looked up at her brother quizzically. "Why?"

Why indeed. Looking away, Gauche felt his throat close up. There was no good way to say what had happened. No good way to explain away his recent over working, or how he stayed away so often. Nothing would patch that up simply and easily.

Frown deepening, Sylvette realized she wouldn't be getting an answer. Sighing, she wheeled her way into the house. "I wont count on him, then."

Closing his eyes, the man couldn't bring himself to respond or look at her. If she knew what he'd done, what had happened...No. She wouldn't find out. Gauche couldn't lose her to.

000

Words were not adequate in describing how Lag felt for Gauche. He'd often struggled with this problem, rewriting the same letter five times before he was satisfied. But that was for the daily going on's of his life. Those letters were about Connor's application to the post office, Zazie's newest cat or how he and Connor had gotten their first pellet guns.

This letter would be different. It would be his only chance to express what he felt.

Closing his eyes, Lag leaned his head in his hand, twirling the quill in his fingers absently. It had been almost a month since he'd asked Zazie for help. Still, no letter had been produced. It was already December.

Sighing, he put down the feather and stretched, looking out his window at the town clock. The massive, ancient looking thing's wobbly metal arm slowly crawled over the 3. He was getting nowhere.

The problem was that he was trying to say too much at once. His words were getting clustered, messy and just repeated themselves. A mess. A complete and utter mess. Another great sigh threatened to escape the boy.

000

Sabrina turned the crisp envelope over in her hands, lips pressed into a thin line. She hadn't expected anything from the Suede siblings, least of all an invitation to Christmas. Perhaps Gauche had not told Sylvette what had happened?

Sighing, the woman tucked it into her bed side table. Showing it to Lag would only cause heartache and stress.

The invitation reminded Sabrina of the still fresh hurt that dimmed her nephew's smile. It was a painful reminder, that she'd separated him from someone he claimed to love. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that Lag was a kid. He didn't know what love was. And he certainly was too young to see when a predator was lurking around.

The reminder did little to stem the ache and guilt.

000

A knock at his door startled him from his thoughts. Turning, Lag blinked owlishly. His door had been open, and in the frame stood his aunt. Sabrina eyed the papers scattered across his desk, a strange look in her eyes. Lag made no attempt to hide them, unease welling in his stomach.

The woman tore her eyes from the desk, a tired half smile on her lips. "I was about to go to the attic. Did you want to help me decorate?"

Lag smiled, the prospect of decorating pulling his mood from the gutters. "Sure!"

Sabrina felt the tension melt just a bit as they made their way to the attic to dig out the boxes of Christmas decorations. They were well loved, home made little things. Colorful orbs decorated with thread and glitter, faux gems and tinsel. Macaroni angels that Lag had made when his was younger, tiny rocking horses and small picture frames of Anne with her son.

Lag held the delicate, age worn frame, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He hadn't had much time with the woman, but he still remembered when they piled into their rickety car and traveled the dusty roads to visit Sabrina. The plump woman would have all sorts of food set out and they'd stay the weekend.

"She went too young." he heard his aunt murmur.

Glancing to the woman, Lag felt his heart ache. Sabrina held a tiny group photo, decorated in Lag's clumsy 7 year old macaroni art. His father had died in a war, or that's what he'd been told. All they'd had was their tiny, three person family. It was no wonder she felt so protective of him.

Lag set a snow globe on the mantle of the fireplace, chewing his lip. The tiny replica of Yusari Central in the glass confines was coated with tiny snow flakes. A present from a past visit, one Gauche and Sylvette had shared the credit for. Lag knew his friend-now-more was awful at gifts.

Maybe a gift would carry along his message better...? No, there was no way to hide such a big parcel... Maybe art? No, Lag was awful at any kind of art...

Sighing, the boy watched the tiny snowflakes drift over the tiny city gloomily.

000

The fire in the hearth is merry and the snowflakes on the window sil look beautiful, Sylvette muses. Decorations are neatly placed on the recently cleaned walls and frames and Gauche is actually off for the day for once.

Sylvette busied herself most of the morning with cooking up a modest feast of ham and salad and mashed potatoes and yams. Gauche smiled patiently, helping her set the heavy hunk of meat into the oven. There was honestly enough food to feed an army, and although it would probably only be the two of them, Gauche is patient with his sisters insistence that they celebrate big _just in case_.

The empty chair at the table stings more than it rightly should. Gauche supposes he should expect this, he should have already fully accepted the reality. Why would Lag write to him, let alone visit? He must have realized, once his aunt sat him down properly, what a monster the man was.

There's a knock at the door and Sylvette sets down a steaming casserole dish of yams. She beams, looking to her brother. "Can you go see who it is?"

His heart wedges itself in his throat, irrational in the face of the sullen thoughts. Gauche nods. "Of course."

When he opens the door, feeling oddly light headed, it isn't Lag at their doorstep. Aria smiles pleasantly up at him, a basket of what smells like pies and a jug of cider in her arms. "Am I late?"

Fighting down the bitter, caustic taste of disappointment, Gauche offers a faint smile. "No. Come in."

Aria isn't surprised. Her friend has had few words to offer anyone but Sylvette in the last few months.

000

Dinner is normally a peaceful, comfortable time for Lag and his aunt on Christmas. Zazie often sneaks from the orphanage to attend and this year is no different. Sabrina was a good cook and the cat boy never passed up a chance to eat her cooking if he had a say in it.

Until this year, it hadn't bothered Lag that Gauche never came for the day. The man often didn't visit during this time of the year, actually. Work kept him busy and the roads were often too dangerous to risk a visit.

His aunt laughed loudly at something Zazie had said, dragging the boy from his thoughts. Blinking, Lag felt a smile tug at his lips. In spite of himself, he found it in him to laugh at his friend's jokes.

Despite the bitterness the fall had brought, Lag found he was caught up in Zazie and aunt's infectious cheerfulness. It almost numbed the ache in his chest when he thought of his missing loved one.

Somewhere in between eating dinner and telling stories in the living room, the words finally came to Lag. Near bursting with the urgency to pour out his thoughts, the boy nearly exploded as he struggled to sit through the remainder of the night.

000

Snow drifted lazily through the air, like long cords of fairy lights in the darkness of early morning. Lag pulled his thick coat closer to himself, footsteps crunching as he jogged down the snowy road.

As promised, Zazie stood anxiously under the shadow of a tall tree, blowing into his worn out gloves. Spotting Lag, he turned towards him, shuffling in place to keep warm. The boy came to stop in front of his friend, breathing a bit hard in the frosty air.

Looking his friend over, Zazie raised an eyebrow. "Did you fall?"

Glancing up, Lag felt his cheeks warm behind his scarf. "Off the roof..."

"How did you...?"

"I fell on a bush." the boy explained, brushing off the twigs and snow from his coat and pants. "Are you sure you can do this?" he pressed, chewing at his chapped lips.

The cat boy waved a hand, "Course I can. The orphanage doesn't watch the mail that comes and goes. I'll just swipe a few stamps and mail it."

Lag's shoulders slumped in relief, the first time Zazie had seen his friend so relaxed in months. The boy dug in his coat for the crinkled envelope, the address printed neatly. Zazie took it gingerly, eying it.

His friend had approached him earlier that month, pleading for him to mail his letter. When Zazie had asked why he couldn't do it himself, he'd been met with a sobbing wreck. It came out quickly what had happened, once the boy was calm enough to speak.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. A lot of emotions warred inside of Zazie. But there was no way he could tell his friend no. Not when he'd been such a wreck, so desolate the last few months.

A smile tugged at Lag's mouth, the first genuine one he'd offered in weeks. "Thank you so much, Zazie..."

"Its nothing." the boy said, tucking the letter carefully into his coat pocket. "You should get home, before your aunt wakes up and flays you."

Lag offered a weak smile, the most he could manage. "I'll see you later then."

0000000000


	53. C14 Powder

(looooong sigh) well...this was the harder chapter to figure out how to write. Super short to. But don't fret, the last two chapters of this will be much much longer! And more fun! Hopefully...

inspiration: "pity party" by melanie martinez, "please mr. postman" by the marvelettes, "liar" by hatsune miku (vocaloid pffff)

warnings: heavy spoilers from chapter 70 onward? Harmful behaviors, ooc maybe?

Onwards! to the gloom!

000000000

"powder"

When Lag had first come to Yusari, everything had made sense. The world had an order and though it was fringed with shadows, nothing had made him question his value to it. He was a young up and coming from Cambel Litus, Yodaka and he was guided by a strength he had not known before now.

When Noir had appeared, everything fell apart. Everywhere he looked, Lag found whispers and shadows of conspiracy and doubt. Suddenly, the very world he'd grown up in had become a foreign land. And yet, with the help of his friends, everything remained somehow whole.

Despite the chaos that Noir had brought, he brought a solace and comfort that Lag had not anticipated. Had not thought possible, even. The months of peace, of seeking answers, had passed in a haze of warmth.

And just like that, they came to a chilling end.

Lloyd had summoned him to the heart of Reverse. A man that, although Lag hadn't known well, he had trusted had become an enemy. With a swift motion, the former director had cut him down.

" _You cant save anyone."_

000

"Please, don't tell Noir where I am."

Roda stared at the boy, a fury building in her that she hadn't known was there. Lag had been here for a mere two days and everyone was worried sick. Everyone was waiting for him to return. And yet...

"Why...?" she asked, tone kept carefully neutral.

Lag took a long breath, closing his eye. It hurt...it hurt _so much_ , but this was what needed to be done. Opening his eye, he focused on Roda with a determined expression. "If I see him, I wont be able to do this." _I cant save anyone as I am._

A frown curved the woman's lips. "Lag..."

The well of tears in the boy's eye betrayed him, voice watery. "I-I c-cant do a-anything as I am...I w-wont let Chico...I wont let a-anyone die!" he cried, rubbing furiously at his eye.

Niche huddled closer to the boy, murmuring to him. He smiled weakly and assured her he was alright. Turning back to Roda, Lag felt his stomach sink under her impassive expression. Sighing to herself, the woman closed her eyes. In spite of her fierce loyalty to Noir, she understood. She'd been there when the ethereal Spirit Insect had spoken to the boy, she knew what was at stake.

As much as it would hurt Noir, Roda understood.

"Alright." she relented, opening her eyes to see the boy. "But...don't take too long."

Smile just a tad strained, Lag murmured, "I wont."

With that, Roda took her leave. As her figure vanished into the gloom of the night, Lag tried to find the positive in this situation. He'd always held up well during times of hardship, this would be no different. Only just then noticing the stars, Lag felt the anxiety subside marginally.

Like powdered sugar, the stars felt impossibly close and warm right then to him. At the very least, Noir would see those stars and think of him as well.

000

When Noir entered the house, something had felt _off_. The usual sounds of night time were there, of course, but something decidedly _wrong_ pervaded the familiar rooms. Making his way through the house, Noir tried to remember the last time he'd felt this uncomfortable in his own home.

Climbing the stairs, he sucked in a breath as he saw the door to their bedroom wide open. As if the reality might change if he moved too slowly, Noir nearly burst in. Sure enough, as he'd already known it would be, the room was empty.

Letting out the breath he'd been holding, the man deflated miserably. Some part of him had hoped that Lag had changed his mind. Come back and shined that brilliant smile on him and said they would work it out together.

He hadn't

Was this the same bone crushing helplessness Sylvette had felt when Gauche had gone missing...?

Kicking off his boots, the man shed the worn uniform as he made his way to the suddenly too big bed. A chill pervaded the room and all Noir wanted was to burrow up in the bedsheets and suck in the little bit of Lag that was left in the room.

A sudden fear pierced him through.

What if Lag never came back...?

The terror that followed nearly stopped his breathing. Swallowing hard, the man tugged the blankets over his head and took a breath. In spite of Chico's attempts to needle the group, Noir knew that Lag would always be Lag. Lag had made a promise, not only to Sylvette, but to himself.

This wasn't the end. He knew that. He did.

000

The stars shone like a sea above Lag as he lay on the cold ground. In spite of all the geothermal heat surrounding Shiretoko, the ground was still the ground. Heaving a sigh, the boy closed his eye and tried to remember his job.

At present, he couldn't save Amberground. Unless they relied on Chico, whose plan was as unstable as her history was, this world was doomed. No matter what, Lag refused to allow even a single life to be taken, not if he could help it.

Still...still...

Niche yawned, curling closer to him. Blinking, the boy glanced at her and smiled tiredly. The little Maka had wrapped her hair around them in a sort of living blanket, curled around him protectively. A smile curved his lips and Lag remembered that he wasn't alone. Even if he couldn't see Noir, he had Niche. That was enough.

Closing his eye, he repeated that to himself a few times. It was enough. This was enough.

It didn't work very well...he mourned.

000

There was a level of bitterness that Zazie couldn't shake when he thought of Lag. Leaning into the back of the carriage, he did his best to stem the building misery. Nearly a year had passed since the boy's departure.

Sylvette sat in a hospice, neat and empty, like a doll waiting to be played with. Everywhere he went, Chico's name and face pervaded the country. And the hope of his dear friend returning ebbed little by little.

Once again, Zazie mused, he'd been left behind. All of the heartache, all of the effort put into the boy, and Lag had left him just as swiftly as his parents had. No matter how much he tried to calm the building malice in his heart, Zazie found it impossible.

It didn't matter that Lag was doing this for the greater good. The knowledge that his friend was trying to save millions of people did little to soothe him. Lag hadn't even seen fit to tell him in person. Hadn't even thought to say goodby to _Noir,_ of all people. Both of them had been relegated to a few sentences on a piece of paper.

Closing his eyes, the boy breathed out a slow sigh. One thing he could take comfort in, was that for once, Noir wasn't above him somehow. While it didn't help much, it was enough to sooth him during the worst moods.

000

The ocean of stars that had once felt like a bridge between Lag and the world he'd left behind, now seemed to drown him. Staring up in a haze at the stars, he imagined that they went on for eternity. Knew they did. Had seen all that could be seen, heard all that could be heard.

His skin felt like it was crawling. Dragging ragged nails over his arm, Lag winced as the familiar welts opened up. Niche watched him silently, holding the ragged fabric of his shirt out neatly. The needle in his fingers quivered and the boy fought to remain calm.

Sucking in a shaking breath, he held it.

The only insect inside of him was the one in his eye.

Releasing the breath, Lag wiped his forehead with the back of a dirty hand. When he felt less likely to jam the sewing needle into his arm, the boy returned to the task at hand. While walking around in only his underwear was alright in this place, he couldn't do that in Central. The once baggy clothing was far too tight now.

Niche watched him as he carefully pulled the fabric back into place, one stitch at a time. "Is Lag happy to go home again?"

Home...A swell of emotion welled up and he fiercely stamped it down.

"Yes." he murmured.

Home would be so good to return to. Of all the things that had kept Lag sane, the memory of his loved ones did the most. It had stopped him from fleeing the enormous shell he'd taken up residence in for the past year, kept him grounded.

Niche lifted the shirt to allow him access to a persistently difficult stitch. A faint smile curved his lips, in spite of the years efforts and Lag couldn't find the will to stop it.

000000000


	54. B14 Seconds

Tada! A small victory, getting this stupid chapter done at all. But thankfully it was finished! Its a summerween miracle~

warnings: kissing...? not much this time around.

Inspiration: "ocean of stars" amv by sunberriyu, "crave you" by flight facilities, "honey and the moon" by redemptions son.

Onward we go! One more chapter left!

0000000000

"seconds"

With a great echoing clang, the last Gaichu exploded and fell into a heap of scrap metal. The beautiful jewels in its armor glittered in the haunting glow of billowing Heart pouring out from the remains. Lag let himself fall to his bottom on the smashed up mountain pass, eye hazy with exhaustion. Beside him, Gauche breathed a ragged sigh of relief and lowered his gun.

Finally, it was over.

"I-I thought they'd never end..." Lag murmured, the glow slowly fading from his amber.

Gauche responded by sitting down heavily next to him, looking like he might fall asleep right where he was. The boy let out a watery laugh, slumping against him. They'd gotten lucky. And more than likely, there were far more Gaichu hovering around the path behind them.

But while the victory was bittersweet, it still filled Lag's stomach with a giddy fizzing. They'd worked hard and could take a well deserved rest now. A smile tugged at the boy's lips. And, despite the awful battle, he'd gotten to experience a kiss.

It was as warm and wonderful as he'd imagined it would be. A warmth bubbled in Lag's chest and he couldn't help the giggle that caught on each bubble of happiness and expanded rapidly. Gauche glanced at him, blinking.

"You alright, Lag?" he asked.

Even with the pain it caused him to laugh, the boy beamed up at him. "Couldn't be better!"

Smiling a bit, Gauche let himself laugh a bit, leaning back on his hands. Looking up at the sky, where the plumes of glittering Heart drifted freely still, he felt his entire being seem to relax. He'd been done for, if it hadn't been for the boy next to him.

"You really came through." The man said, voice soft and rasping.

Looking to his friend, Lag's cheeks burned. "I-I didn't do anything, not really..." he stammered.

Gauche aimed a look of exasperation at the boy, but decided against speaking. He was exhausted. Sighing, he hefted himself up and off the cold ground. Offering a hand to Lag, the man smiled a bit as he hefted the boy to his feet.

At Lag's questioning gaze, he gestured towards the desert. "Lets find a better place to make camp."

Nodding, the boy brushed himself off lightly. Beside him, Roda got to her feet tiredly, making her way down the maw that once was a smooth mountain pass. Following after her, the boy counted his blessings.

As they passed the massive hunks of polished armor, Lag couldn't help but stare up at them in awe. Distantly, he wondered if his own armor looked like that. Shimmering like an oil slick, studded with vibrant gems. He'd like to think it did. Lag wanted to believe the inhuman parts of him could be that beautiful as well.

000

The ring of stones they'd camped at the night before had been smashed to pieces by the miniature army of Gaichu, as it happened. Continuing down the pass, they came to a bluff overlooking the desert below.

Setting down his bag, Gauche sat heavily and leaned against a sand smoothed boulder. The massive stones formed a protective ring, shielding the small group from the chilly wind that swept down and out of the mountains behind them. Roda trotted to him, turning once and flopping into his lap tiredly.

Smiling a bit, Gauche pet her gently. She'd worked hard, he mused, threading his fingers through her dusty fur. When they got back to Central, he'd be sure to give her a bath.

What should have taken a week, ended up taking nearly three. This had been, in all of Gauche's years, the strangest delivery he'd ever undertaken.

A shuffling to his side told him that Lag had dropped his own bag. Turning to look at the boy, a ache tugged at his chest. Lag sat heavily next to him, leaning all of his weight against him and letting out a long sigh. "Its been so long since I could sit down..."

Smiling faintly, Gauche ruffled the boy's hair gently. "You can now. I don't think we're going anywhere until tomorrow night."

Thank the Empress for that, Lag thought happily. He didn't think either of them could really move much right then.

As Gauche began to set up the camp, the smile on the boy's face fell slightly. This would be their last night together. Tomorrow, he'd trek alone across the desert and try to make a home in Cambel Litus.

Mother must be so worried, Lag realized, guilt settling in his belly. The trip was only supposed to take a week, tops. Due to his own wretched nature, however, they were nearly two weeks late. The severity of the situation and the weight of all that had happened settled heavily on his shoulders.

To think, that all of the years alone and in a dark cell or a rickety house had lead up to such a journey. All of the pain and the hardship had lead him to the man beside him, who was currently fighting with his tools as he attempted to make a fire.

Smile returning, Lag couldn't stop the bubbling of affection as he watched Gauche fumble about. He'd lead the boy out of the darkness and into a world that was as beautiful and wide open as it was terrifying and dark.

"Is something on my face...?"

Blinking out of his daze, Lag realized the man in question was looking at him oddly. "O-Oh uh... no."

Raising an eyebrow, Gauche eyed him skeptically. "What are you thinking about so hard?"

Shrugging, the boy chuckled anxiously. "I-Its nothing. I was just...thinking about how lucky I am."

"Lucky?" the Bee repeated, blinking.

Turning his gaze to the sky, Lag took his time trying to gather the right words. "Before now... I'd never thought I could go on a journey. Or make such a good friend, or be accepted for..." he trailed off, biting his lip.

Expression softening, the man understood immediately. "It must have been hard on you."

Lag smiled faintly, keeping his eye on the sea of stars above them. "It was. But its been amazing, to."

"Amazing isn't the word I'd choose." Gauche said, turning back to the meager fire pit he was attempting to assemble and light. "But it has been incredible."

Seeing an entire new side of the world, the government that he worked under, was something that Gauche didn't think would ever leave him. The tale of Lag and his mother would probably go on haunting him well into his golden years, if he were so lucky to survive that long.

Chewing his lip, the boy thought about his journey tomorrow. It would be at least a days walk, if he didn't get lost. And given his first excursion, Lag didn't think he'd make it under the estimated time of arrival. But if he did make it, he'd be reunited with his aunt and soon after, his mother. That alone was enough fuel to make his legs carry him onward. Probably.

Still...

"Its going to be strange, living in Cambel." Lag murmured, brows knitting slightly. "All those people...I wonder if I can actually do it."

Gauche smiled in relief as the fire burst into life, illuminating their little ring of stones. Glancing to his friend, his smile warmed. "I'm sure you'll do fine. You'll have your aunt and mother. And soon enough, you'll probably have friends to."

Lag wasn't so sure. "You think so...?"

"I know so." Gauche said, leaning back against the stone. He dug in his bag and tugged out a can of soup. Lag was thankful he didn't offer one to him as well. "You've grown a lot. I'm sure you'll be fine."

A faint smile tugged at the boy's lips as he nodded a bit. "I guess so."

He'd like to think that anyway. If Gauche thought that, then Lag was certain it was true. They lapsed into silence as the man heated his can of soup, content with the world. It had been a long time, Lag thought, since silence could feel truly comfortable.

A thought struck him then, that this didn't need to end. They didn't have to separate for good, Lag thought. A warm airy feeling filled his chest and he swallowed hard. "G-Gauche, could I ask a favor...?"

Pausing in his attempts to cut open his can of soup, the man blinked and glanced to him. "Sure, what is it?"

Taking a deep breath, Lag counted for a few beats. When he felt like he was ready, he asked, "Could I write to you after this...?"

Blinking owlishly, Gauche nodded. "Of course. Let me just get out something to write my address on..."

As the man hastily set down his can opener and can, Roda perked up her ears and watched curiously. Displaced with the movement, she sat up sleepily and yawned. In a few moments, Gauche had hastily scribbled out an address on some yellowing paper and was offering it to Lag as if it were something he'd worked on for hours.

"Here." he said, expression oddly determined.

It was Lag's turn to blink owlishly, taking the paper and looking down at it. The name made no sense to him, a collection of letters and numbers that seemed to clutter the paper. A smile tugged at his lips, small and gleeful.

Looking up, eye shining with happiness, he said, "Thank you!"

Returning the smile, Gauche reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. "Its nothing. But could I have a favor in return, as well?"

Blinking, Lag nodded dumbly. "Of course!"

Snickering at the boy's enthusiasm, Gauche returned to attempting to open his can. He thought for a moment, gathering his thoughts together, before deciding on what exactly he wanted to ask. "What... was that, earlier?" at Lag's blank, confused smile, Gauche elaborated. "With your...feelers."

A beat passed.

"Oh." Lag said, face turning beet red. Looking away quickly, as if to salvage his pride, he stammered, "I-I was just...channeling the surrounding Heart. I've never done it before."

The man thought for a moment more, before asking, "Could you have done that without a kiss?"

If Lag had had that disgusting soup, he could have at least pretended he was choking on that and not his own spit. Wheezing, the boy felt like he might be about to die. "I-I...u-um...!"

Taking in the mortified boy's expression, Gauche reached a conclusion. He patted his back and tried his best not to let his own feelings show on his face. As Lag recovered, they settled back into an awkward silence.

After making sure that Lag wouldn't asphyxiate, the man returned to fumbling with his can of soup. With some difficulty, Gauche succeeded in opening the offending can and fished for a spoon in his bag. For a long few moments, Lag couldn't find the will to speak, the previous question looming over him like a curtain of rain.

Of course, he'd have been able to channel that Heart into the man in any other part of his body. Truthfully, Lag wasn't 100% sure why he'd chosen to _kiss_ him of all things. It definitely wasn't a method that had many upsides in battle. As much as his own behavior sometimes confused Lag, he wished others could at least give him insight into it.

Regardless of motive, however, Lag had loved every second of it. And maybe, that was all it really came down to. Love. Swallowing hard, the boy felt his cheeks burn up. All of the Heart in his body was jumping around anxiously, like a cage of butterflies ready to burst open.

Was it really alright to feel something like that...? _Could_ he feel something like love?

Glancing from the corner of his eye at Gauche, Lag felt his heart jump. Well. It couldn't be impossible, he decided. Even if he _was_ a monster, even he could feel things like love. Probably.

"Lag, are you alright?"

Blinking fast, the boy started. "E-Eh?"

Turning to look at the man, Lag felt his heart lodge in his throat. He was watching the boy with concern. "You look like you're about to burst apart..."

Taking a deep breath and holding it, Lag willed himself to relax. If too much Heart cried out inside of him, who knew what could happen. Just because he was his own person, didn't mean he fully knew how his armor worked. "I-I'm alright."

Gauche didn't look at all convinced. "Are you sure?"

Nodding, the boy smiled weakly. "I-I am. Just...t-thinking too much."

Stirring his half eaten soup idly, Gauche focused his attention on the boy. "What about?"

All at once, the even paced breaths Lag had been taking whooshed out of him in a gust of, "About the kiss."

There was a lull in the conversation and Lag immediately wished he could gather up the words again. Gauche was looking at him with a dumbfounded expression, as if he hadn't expected that at all. Lag hadn't either. He'd meant to say something like, leaving or about his powers. Instead, the question had sent a surge through his stored up Heart and the words had escaped him without any warning.

God, what was wrong with him...?

"I...was to." Gauche said, cheeks dusted a faint rose red.

Lag's brain did a double take. As the boy gaped, Gauche itched his cheek, glancing up to the sky. He wished it would just do all the talking for him, sometimes. "Well...I suppose I just...couldn't really help it."

It took a moment for the words to catch up to his speeding thoughts. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy's face burned darker. He watched the man for a few moments longer, before managing to move his stiff jaw.

Lag opened his mouth and then clamped it shut again. This carried on for a few moments, before he stammered out a, "W-We could d-do it again, i-if you wanted."

Why did his mouth keep moving without his permission? He thought in horror.

Gauche turned his attention back on Lag, blinking owlishly a few times. He watched the boy for a few long seconds, before nodding dumbly. "S-Sure."

The wind blew gently, sending a chill over the boy. Brushing the hair from his eye, Lag blinked a few times. A cottony pollen seed drifted between them, dancing off and into the valley of sand below them. Lag watched it go as if in a dream.

He'd learned in the last few days, that when the fluff from the Chipa flowers crossed his path, to trust his instincts. That was fine, he thought dreamily, he didn't need to be told twice.

Looking back to the man, Lag noticed that Gauche was watching the fluff in much the same way as Lag had been. Smiling faintly, the boy leaned his weight on his hand and reached for Gauche's worn uniform jacket with the other.

Blinking, the man looked down at him and made to speak, before cutting himself off. From this angle, his little former letter looked almost angelic. Cheeks rosy, expression a mixture of determination and dreamy, it was a wonder his heart didn't burst out of his chest. Swallowing back his doubts and concerns, Gauche tilted his head down a bit.

In a clumsy movement, Lag knelt up fully and pressed their lips together. It was awkward and at first, he'd only gotten a mouthful of the man's upper lip. Bringing a hand up to Lag's cheek, Gauche adjusted the angle of the boy's face.

He tasted like dirt, blood and gross soup, but it was possibly the nicest combination Lag had ever had before. Later, he'd probably wonder what was wrong with him to think something like that. But right then, he just wanted to keep tasting it. Wrapping his arms around the man's neck clumsily, Lag pressed himself closer.

Lag was slight and warm, Gauche mused, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady the boy. They pulled apart as the boy lost his balance in his enthusiastic attempt to get closer. At first, the snowy haired boy attempted to follow his lips, before coming back to reality. Opening his eye, Lag blinked dazedly.

"D-Did I do something...?" he asked, breathless.

It was like getting punched in the gut, watching the boy look and sound like that. Calming himself the best he could, Gauche said, "Just lost your balance."

Nodding lightly, the boy took his time coming down from his high. It had just been a kiss, nothing deep or passionate like in the books he'd sometimes read in the past, but it had been the most intense feeling Lag had ever...well, felt. All of the Heart in his body was bouncing around excitedly, leaving him as breathless as he had been just a moment ago.

Roda watched the two curiously, ear flicking. Gauche pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead, before gesturing to his bag. "W-We should get ready for bed. We have an early start tomorrow."

Lag nodded dumbly, loosening the grip he had on the back of Gauche's jacket. He watched as the man began to clumsily make a space for them to sleep, using his coat as a pillow and tugging out the thick blankets.

After finishing his soup and putting out the fire, they laid down. Lag took full advantage of Gauche, tucking his head under the man's chin. Roda sleepily stretched out over the two, yawning wide. They formed a comfortable pile of warm bodies and Lag found he didn't even mind the hard ground beneath the blanket.

Above them, the stars stretched out like a current of dazzling fish. Just yesterday, it had felt so wide and he had felt so small. Tonight, it felt like he could reach up and run his fingers through the ocean above them.

As Lag drifted off to sleep, he felt for the first time in his life as if tomorrow might be the start of something beautiful and grand.

0000000000

WHOO! It only took like 5 drafts and 8 scripts (its not that easy to make up dialogue okay) but finally! A final draft I can comfortably say I like! Thank god...i had so much I wanted to get out and not nearly enough skill to do so but hopefully this isn't so bad...


	55. K14 Fog

Whoooo we get to explore more of 13-14 year old lag's personality and behavior! Also, one chapter leeeeft whooooo!

Warnings: offscreen sex, onscreen kissing and suggestive behavior, spoilers? Ish?

Inspiration: "chocolate" by snow patrol, "heart of fire" and "obsession" by innerpartysystem, "crave you" by flight facilities and probably a dozen more.

W-whoo...one chapter left... its going by so quickly...

0000000000

"fog"

It wasn't that anyone told Gauche he was in danger, so much as it was the feeling in the air. Heavy, ominous whispers outside of Anne's room dripped with a mystery he wasn't sure he wanted to solve. In the frigid cellar, more and more people went missing every day.

Anne, herself, was tense and drifted about the room like she was heading for a death sentence. In the room next to hers, Gauche knew Lag was sleeping without a care in the world. She looked to the window that offered a sweeping view of a great lake and a cavern, pensive.

"Gauche," she said softly. "I have a request."

When she turned her gaze on him, hair falling into her eyes, he knew he couldn't say no.

000

"We're going to the fortress."

The mayor's fork paused in its ascent towards his mouth. Flaky meat from the chilled Tiki Tiki they were eating dropped from the utensil with the sudden halt. Looking up, the man seemed to want to say something.

Regardless of anyone else, Gauche knew Lag would do what he felt was right. Lag continued to eat slowly, dipping his forkfuls of Tiki Tiki in a saucer of soy sauce as if what had been said was a casual statement.

Gauche ate some of the fish from the serving platter, skirting the strange raw lizard. The mayor straightened up, remembering his voice. "I'm afraid the gates been boarded up. Even if you could open that, the courtyard is impassible..."

Not deterred, the boy glanced up. "There's a secret passageway."

Whereas Gauche had lost his memories, (or rather, repressed them) Lag had not. The man had no doubt that his little friend remembered every brick of the frigid hallway that lead out. Sighing quietly, the mayor brought his fork to his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

As if the thought occurred right then, the plump man beamed suddenly. "You could go around the town and meet everyone, as well! Our long lost messiah is a sight that would buoy the people's spirits."

Frowning, the boy glanced to Gauche as if to ask, should I bother? Gauche wondered if it was just the years abroad or genuinely the old Lag who thought something like that. He nodded though, because he had seen the state of this village. It would be a good idea regardless, if they wanted to be welcome here for any length of time.

With a touch of resignation, Lag nodded. "I suppose it couldn't hurt..."

000

The town was ecstatic, as the man had predicted. Once word got around that their messiah was home, people poured from their houses to flock around them. While Gauche was distinctly uncomfortable with the large groups that cried the boy's name, Lag seemed entirely in his element. He smiled warmly, spoke in a soft way so few heard these days and even agreed to play with the children.

Perhaps it was all ego. Gauche was relieved though, regardless. He'd missed that smile and the tinkling laughter. Besides, he needed to shop for supplies.

Wherever he went, people whispered. It was unnerving to say the least. As Gauche paused to inspect a pair of woolen socks in a shop window, he noticed movement. Blinking, he looked up in time to see the door to open, the chimes at the top tinkling.

A thin man with a neatly groomed mustache gestured for him to enter, a cheerful smile tugging at his mouth. Or it looked like it was. There was so much facial hair, Gauche couldn't be sure. Stepping in, the man sighed a bit in the warmth of the shop.

It was a cozy place, wracks of tidy stacks of clothing lining the walls as well as the center. Beyond, was a row of counters and a cash register. Just by looking at the socks, Gauche had known this was a pricey store. But being inside definitely proved that.

Still, he felt it would be rude to leave so soon. That and the man was lingering at his side. "Did you need anything? Socks, trousers?" he asked cheerfully.

Gauche felt almost bowled over by the sheer enthusiasm. "Ah...um, socks..." he murmured.

With a flurry, the man ushered him towards a rack of socks. He spoke about the quality, the type of material used, the durability. Gauche had never known there were so many types of socks. The prices were all outrageous regardless, though. As if sensing his thoughts, the man took several pairs from the rack and called for someone.

A moment later, a woman came out. He turned to her and said, "Would you help me gather this young man's purchases?"

Gauche fumbled for words, never good at awkward discussions. "A-Ah, wait...I cant possibly afford..."

"Its all on the house." the man said cheerily, dumping the socks in a basket the woman had gone and fetched. "Pick whatever you need out, its all taken care of."

It was surreal. Before he could speak, the man was guiding him around the shop. In no time at all, he had enough fresh socks, underwear (the huge boxers Lag liked so much) and new pants and shirts to last several years. They'd wrapped the clothing up and tucked them into sturdy paper bags. With that, Gauche had left feeling decidedly...odd.

No matter where he went after, similar happenings occurred. By the time he got back to the room he'd designated as he and Lag's, he thought his arms might fall off. He had three bags of clothes, at least five of food, books, bathing supplies, new boots and Gauche's head was spinning. It had been... probably his entire life, and he'd never been privy to these high quality items. Least of all for _free_.

He'd have to thank Lag for this later.

000

By the time Lag was free from the throngs of people, it was late at night. They ate together with the mayor and spent the next hour or so bathing and marveling at their new clothing. Lag beamed when he held up the enormous boxers.

"I thought I'd never get another pair of these again!"

Laughing a bit, Gauche sat on the bed. "It was the strangest thing." he said. "People just kept giving me things."

Humming, the boy kicked off his worn out pants and tugged on his new boxers. "That's because you're my "disciple"." he said, admiring the clean, starched fabric. "Or something. They think so anyway. Its probably uncomfortable though, right?" he laughed anxiously.

It took a lot not to admire the nicely muscled legs, but Gauche had an astounding amount of will power. "It is. But its nice, we needed all of this."

Digging in a bag for a thick sweater, Lag glanced up at him. "Its alright. We should enjoy it while we can. We'll miss it when we leave."

For some reason, Gauche had assumed that Lag would want to stay there forever. Probably, they could live off of Lag's deity status for the majority of their lives. "Do you want to leave?" he asked, watching the boy's expression carefully.

Lag tugged out a button up cardigan and hummed thoughtfully. He didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to tug on the garment and button it. "I don't think I can keep it up." he said softly. "Everybody wants me to be this god, to take them to a better place in life. I don't even remember half the things mother taught me."

That made sense. Nodding, Gauche laid back on the bed. "I understand. It would be hard to keep this going."

Lag didn't respond. Carefully, he stepped over the numerous bags and boxes and sat next to the man on the bed. The mattress dipped under his slight weight, tipping Gauche slightly. He looked up at the boy, their eyes meeting for a moment.

One thing that hadn't changed, Gauche mused, was how expressive Lag's sepia eye was. The boy didn't need to speak. He didn't need to make a gesture, even. As easy as it was to get lost in his gaze, Gauche read the thoughts as if they were written plainly on paper.

 _Is this alright? Are you alright with that choice?_

Gauche let his mouth tug into a faint smile. He propped himself up on an arm to meet the gaze easier. "Its fine, Lag. Our goal hasn't changed. Until then, it doesn't matter where we go."

Chewing his lip, Lag leaned down, brushing his forehead against the man's. Closing his eye, he let out a shaky sigh. "Thank you."

"Its nothing."

And it really was. Gauche would move heaven and Earth for Lag, if that's what the boy wanted. Lag's mouth tugged into a faint, wry smile as he adjusted the angle of his head slightly. Breath hitching, Gauche told himself not to move.

Chapped, cool lips brushed against his lightly. They lingered for a moment, barely touching, before the man brought a hand up to Lag's cheek, guiding him closer gently. A tremor raced over the boy, fingers tightening in the bedsheets.

It seemed to go on for eternity, that barely there kiss. When Lag pulled away, his cheeks were dusted a soft pink. Swallowing hard, the boy stayed put, breathing shaky as he watched his friend's expression intently.

If Lag was looking for something, Gauche wasn't sure what it could possibly be. In the time it took the man to catch his breath and calm his speeding heart, the boy had shifted his weight. For a moment, Gauche was terrified he'd somehow messed up, before Lag settled heavily over his stomach. Legs on either side of the man, he rested his hands on the worn fabric of Gauche's undershirt.

A long moment passed. It was Gauche's turn to search the boy's eye, to verify his intentions. At almost the same time as Lag leaned forward, the man realized this wasn't a child anymore. Not in the sense that he would have liked. No amount of praying to an Empress would turn back the hands of time that had taken the boy's delicate mind and reshaped it into something stronger and harder.

There wasn't enough time to process this epiphany, as Lag's mouth found his once more. Vision filled with the boy's downy white hair and lashes, it felt as if they'd been taken to another world.

A good person, Gauche mused, would push the boy away. But, since when were they good people?

He wrapped his arms around the slight boy, pulling him closer.

000

When Gauche woke next, he wasn't sure what time it was. Outside, snow fell slowly. As a child, he'd often thought it looked like long strings of flower fluff strung up by fairies. The shadows the snow cast through the window gave him the feeling that it was snowing inside of the room as well.

Tucked snugly against his chest, Lag rested his head on his arm. Gauche knew he was awake by the way his lashes occasionally brushed against his upper arm, and the way his breathing hitched when his fingers brushed against his stomach.

"Are you alright?" the man asked quietly.

Nodding lightly, the snowy head of hair tilted and a damp kiss was pressed to his arm. "Yeah."

Silence over took the room. The snow falling seemed to be the only movement in the world right then. Gauche was content to leave it at that. There wasn't a thing he could say that would take the tension from the boy and he knew without asking why.

After what felt like eternity, Lag murmured, "I want to go to the fortress."

Nodding slightly, Gauche pressed a kiss to his head. "Right now?"

Lag nodded. If not now, then it felt like they never would. They'd be swept up in a tide of pleasing followers, trying to stem the waves of shattered hopes and crushed lives. "Alright."

With that, they peeled apart from one another. Reaching down, the boy grabbed his boxers and tugged them on, not watching as his friend did the same with the pants that had been kicked to the foot of the bed. The chill in the room seemed to increase without the warmth of the man's body.

Either way, Lag mused, they were whole now. He didn't need to feel Gauche to know he was there anymore.

000

Ice, Gauche mused, was his least favorite surface to attempt to cross. Even more so when Lag was walking so quickly, with a goal before him only he could see. Hugging his coat close to himself, the man wondered where they were heading. A heavy mist clouded the frozen lake and he had no idea where he was going.

Ahead of him, Lag seemed to fade into the fog. Somehow though, Gauche could tell where the boy was. A warmth in his stomach pinpointed the direction. Like a compass, he never lost the snowy haired youth.

It felt like such a long time before the yawning, black mouth of a cave loomed ahead of them. Even through the wispy trails of mist, it was formidable. Lag paused, taking his time to drink in the sight of it.

Years ago, Gauche had all but dragged him from the mouth of this cave. Once upon a time, it had been a sacred site. A place where massive robotic insects were stored, and an enormous golden serpent reigned over the land. Now, it was an icy cobble stone pathway that lead deep under ground.

Swallowing hard, Lag took a deep breath and closed his eye. Through this cavern they would come to the cellar of the fortress. Opening his eye as he let out the breath, Lag turned to his friend and smiled faintly.

"Ready to go home...?"

0000000000

(sweats profusely) would you look at that off screen sex with a plot. And you guys were probs like "she said it was gauche/lag but I never expected her to actually do it." ahaha...that was kind of uncomfortable to write. Ah well. Onward! One last chapter!


	56. M14 On the Wind

Woooaaaaah nelly, this is a pretty packed chapter. And 7 pages! Ohboy. This was...a long, long chapter to write. I had so many things I wanted to get through and get down. I think I did a pretty decent job, although I wish i'd planned for 15 chapters at the start...but oh well. I'm happy with it regardless.

Warnings: ooc? Angst, but thats a given.  
Inspiration: "rosas" by la oreja de van gogh, "from sunrise to sunset" by paul wright

w-well, one chapter left after this! It feels so sad to think that its almost done...

00000000000

"on the winds"

The crisp morning air stung Zazie's nose and exposed fingertips as he trudged through the snow, making his way to the nearest post box. He'd do most anything for Lag, but this seemed ridiculous. Not because he was aiding his friend in having a deep dark secret affair with an older man, no, but because he was ankle deep in _snow._

Since when did Cambel Litus even get snow? He muttered, opening the creaking and rickety blue slot to the mail box. With a quick flick, the letter floated to the top of the over packed box. Mostly Christmas letters, the boy mused.

Either way, he was finished and he wanted to get back to the warm bed he'd crawled out from. Winter was, by far, Zazie's least favorite season. The orphanage creaked and groaned in the winds, the chilly rain came through the old windows. And when the snow came, it made it impossible to stay warm inside or out.

000

Long after the grumbling cat boy had left, the mail had been picked up and carted off in a rickety truck. It was taken to a worn out post office, with equally worn out and frazzled workers. Lilly, a seasonal worker, groaned as another cart load of mail was pushed beside her.

This was not the glorious, adventurous job she'd dreamed of as a child. She'd left her family's coastal restaurant for _more_ , damn it!

But still, it was only to get rid of the wiggling urge to explore. Or so her mother had said. Lilly decided she wouldn't correct her, if it meant escaping that boring place for one second. Still, this wasn't what she'd imagined. She'd wanted fights with bandits, seeing the sun rise from the Blue Pumpkin mountains, romance!

Sighing audibly, the girl dropped a handful of letters into the basket meant for Yodaka. Well, dreams were just that. From across the room, her supervisor snapped at her to pick up the pace, or they'd be there until February.

Gulping, Lilly hastily began sorting. She didn't notice the letter meant for Yusari being tossed into the Yodaka bin.

If the letter was capable of a monologue, it might be wondering if fate was the reason Lag's precious letter was aboard a rickety, frigid truck meant for a town all the way on the opposite side of Yodaka. It might wonder, despairingly, how on earth it would ever reach Gauche now.

Luckily, the story of the letter isn't quite finished.

000

A soft click and resonating thud throughout the tired old house told Sylvette that she was alone before she even opened her eyes. Sighing, the girl dragged a hand across her face, pushing herself up to look at the time. It was barely 4:30 am.

Every day, she thought bitterly, laying back down in her bed. It was too early and much too cold to venture out into the rest of the house just yet. Burrowing under the blankets, Sylvette felt the building nausea that had become a common feeling as of late.

No one would have described Gauche as anything but a workaholic. It was what made him who he was. But this wasn't workaholic behavior. No, it was like he was running from something. Or, someone.

It didn't require much effort to figure out that Lag was connected to this sudden change in behavior. Although Gauche excused himself, citing that holiday work loads were more of a burden, Sylvette knew better.

Well, he cant run forever, she thought. The next time she caught him, she would sit him down and settle this once and for all. But for now, sleep.

000

Brilliant shafts of gold and orange broke the bruised sky of morning. It poured over the snowy, silent town of Rengus like a tipped cup of orange juice. Gauche leaned back in his seat, gazing out over the town with something akin to awe.

His route hadn't changed much in the last few years. Lag or no Lag, the town had stayed the same dusty ghost town it had always been. From here, he could see the abandoned chimney of Lag's former home. The house stood in its barren field, cold and lonely.

Most mornings were like this. Gauche would start out early, reaching the town while the sky was still a deep aubergine. He'd settle back with a thermos of coffee and watch the world awaken around him. No one would be expecting him for some time, and at any rate he found the bustling city of Central far too suffocating.

More and more these days, Gauche found himself lost in the quiet mornings of Rengus. Afternoons were for Central. His days blended together, a mess of frigid truck rides and a whirlwind of confused and new seasonal workers. He could, sometimes, forget the dull ache in his chest.

No letters had come for him. No attempts at contact or to rekindle things. It could be that Lag's aunt was keeping him from contacting Gauche. It could also be that the boy had finally opened his eyes to the monster he was.

Closing his eyes, Gauche reminded himself that this was his punishment. He'd made his bed, he should lay in it. Falling in love with someone out of his reach was completely ridiculous from the start. And yet...

He let out a soft breath, unscrewing his thermos. Taking a quick swig, the man counted to ten. After a moment, the desperate feelings of frustration and loneliness faded to a dull throb. Manageable. Something he could hide.

Hiding was another thing Gauche had learned to do. He'd always been aware of how much discretion he needed to use with Lag, but this was an entirely different matter. Sylvette's questioning gaze was always on him. Coworkers were always watching him. Eyes were following him at all times and no amount of excuses would ever smooth over this wrinkle if it ever came to the surface.

It wasn't lost on him that Sylvette was hurting. He knew, soon, that she'd want answers and he wouldn't be able to escape those clear, sharp eyes. Lying wasn't something Gauche could do, not to his sister's face.

But he couldn't lose her to...

Sighing, the man tilted his head back to stare up at the dusty ceiling of the cab. The past and the truth always caught up. Whether it was from his lips, or Lag's, it would come out. Better he say it out loud now, than have it heard through the grape vine.

000

The sun crested the mountains, shining down on the crumbly road. It glittered on the snow, a sight to behold, if the truck hadn't been besieged by bandits. Mock drew a sharp breath, leaning against the old truck tiredly. Around him lay bodies, rusting the snow with their blood.

Holidays were the worst, the man thought bitterly. The Peppermint Patty mountain range was always an unpleasant place to travel. It always brought out the worst people. The group had circled him, came in from the back of the truck and he'd nearly been finished off before he'd had time to slam on the breaks.

Glancing at the swinging doors to the truck, Mock sighed hard. The road was a mess. Letters were laying in the snow, slowly dampening. Muttering, the man peeled himself from the cold truck and began to pick the envelopes and packages up. No doubt some of these held checks or money, probably even rare goods.

As he turned, he wasn't aware of an envelope fluttering loosely next to an overturned stone. It drifted up on the breeze and swirled. With another gust, it was zipping down the mountain, off to who knew where.

000

Turning the dusty envelopes in her hands, Sabrina closed her eyes and sighed quietly. New Years and Christmas passed without incident. January was almost ten days in, the snow still thick and impassible on the roads.

Nearly four months had passed, and Lag still drifted from room to room like a phantom. He came home from school with a tight smile, speaking as little as possible. Heavy bags clung to his eyes like dark clouds before a storm.

It had been four months, and Lag was still a wreck. He contained it better, of course. Sabrina didn't catch him crying at his desk, or taking off at the first sign of a mail truck anymore. The improvements were skin deep, she knew. Meant to disguise the intense heart ache he felt, to convince the world that he was _alright, really._

It didn't fool Sabrina for a moment.

There was no one to ask about what to do. No one who could point the woman in the right direction. Dimly, she remembered her mother staying up late, head in her hands. Anne had been the same, once upon a time, with her husband as well. She'd ran away, leaving heartbreak and an emptiness that never quite left the house.

Sabrina wouldn't let that happen twice. Whatever she had to do, she would mend the hurt she'd put in her nephews heart. If that meant allowing him to write to that man again...

Glancing at the thick envelopes in her hand, the woman felt her stomach turn. It couldn't go on. She'd fix this. She'd do what her mother had refused to do.

000

"We need to talk."

Looking up from where he was unlacing his boots, Gauche blinked owlishly. Sylvette was waiting for him in the hall when he'd returned late that night. The exhaustion showed in her doll-like face, so unused to staying awake this late. A frown tugged at her lips.

This was how it ended, then.

Stomach turning, the man tugged off his boots. Sighing quietly, he straightened up and shrugged off his jacket. He could feel her gaze on him like a needle in his thumb. When he was ready, he faced the girl with a tired smile.

"Alright."

000

The letter drifted over the plains of Yodaka at its own leisurely pace. Through the spokes of carriage wheels, to toasty heaps of hay in covered wagons. Through rain, snow and sunshine, it drifted wherever the wind took it.

000

Lag stared down at the envelopes in his hand. There were three, all from Sylvette. The dates were set from November and December, invitations to dinner and pleas for him to just _talk to her_. A strange mixture of emotions fizzled in his stomach. There was a chill that was bone deep, but Lag didn't think it had come from the cold air outside.

Sabrina sat across from him at the kitchen table, hands folded tiredly. She watched the warring emotions in the boy's eyes, wondering what he'd express first.

"You...you kept these...?" he murmured, disbelieving.

"I did."

For a moment, Lag was speechless. His eyes stayed on the neat hand writing, the tidily spaced out words seemingly to float off the page. "I...I thought you'd throw them out." he said, swallowing hard.

A wry smile tugged at the woman's mouth. "I wanted to."

Turning his eyes up from the paper hesitantly, Lag felt his throat close up. "W-What stopped you...?"

A moment of silence passed, before Sabrina sighed and leaned back into her chair. "You probably don't know, but your mother was the same as you." she began. "She fell in love with someone she shouldn't have."

Lips pressing into a thin line, Lag kept quiet. "Our mother refused to allow it. As much as she was right, it didn't go the way she thought it would. Anne ran away, and we didn't see her for a long time."

The woman brought her cup of coffee to her lips, taking a long sip. Lag watched her, chewing his lip. "It must have been hard on you guys..." he mumbled.

"It was." Sabrina set her cup down, sighing. "But...as hard as it was for my mother, I imagine it was a hard choice for your mother as well." settling her gaze on her nephew, Sabrina let a tired, sad smile tug at her lips. "I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to lose you to."

Lag wanted badly to say he understood where this was going. Chewing his lip, the boy asked quietly, "Does this mean...?"

Sabrina fought the urge to snort. "No. I don't support the relationship you want with Gauche." when she saw the way her words hit the boy, leaving him breathless for a moment, she continued, "But if this is what you want, I know you'll find a way to have it. Regardless of how I feel. I'd rather know you were safe than find your bedroom empty one day."

It occurred to Lag, that this must have kept his aunt awake at night more often than he'd ever know. The guilt gnawed at him. Truth be told, he'd contemplated running away once or twice. He could understand why she'd be so concerned, especially with her past with his mother.

Still, as much as the words hurt, Lag understood. "What do you want me to do then...?"

Sabrina was silent for a moment. Sighing, the woman felt her insides clench at the words. "It doesn't matter what I want." before the boy could open his mouth, she continued, "Do what you need to. I'll be here, no matter what."

And she would, Lag realized dimly. No matter what he chose, he knew his aunt wouldn't abandon him. If in the next year he decided he hated Gauche, she would still be there to fall back on. A warmth filled his stomach, his breathing jumping slightly.

"A-Auntie..."

Sighing dramatically, the woman felt a smile form. "Oh come over here, you big crybaby."

Lag didn't need to be told twice. Standing, he nearly knocked down the chair in his haste to scramble around the table. The boy threw his arms around her, burying his face in her chest as he hiccuped. Sabrina felt her heart lurch as his hiccups became full fledged wails, running a hand through his hair slowly.

It had taken her almost four months to make this choice. And she might regret it in the future. She might hate herself for allowing this to happen at all. But right then, Sabrina was just happy to have her nephew in her arms again.

000

Life had a funny way of knocking you flat when you least expected it. For almost a year, Gauche had carefully hidden the affair from Sylvette. Not in a million years, would he have expected his dear sister to already know his deep dark secret. Nor would he have guessed that she supported him.

Sighing, the man tugged on his coat as he left the house. The door clicked shut behind him, a thin layer of snow untouched on the cobblestones. January had come and gone, February well on its way. Gauche could already see the world coming back to life, even in the bleakness of a winter morning.

Just like the trees would bloom again, Gauche was sure that someday, he to would feel warm and alive. Sylvette's words rang in his head, soft and assured.

" _I don't think he has a choice in this. You know he'd contact us if he could. He loves you._ "

And maybe, just maybe, Sylvette was right. But he couldn't wait his whole life for that, either. He'd have to move on. Someday, maybe he would.

Blowing into his hands, Gauche began to make his way down the narrow road. Something rustled softly underfoot. Pausing, the man looked down to see a letter sitting neatly on the snow. As if it had just landed, like a feather. Frowning, he knelt down and picked it up.

His heart stopped.

It was addressed to him.

00000000000

8D...o-one more chapter left! (broken sobbing) idontwantittoend...


	57. C15 Music

Whoo! Second to last chapter! C-can anyone figure out my favorite trope for lag? (coughs) its nervous prude lag whose response to sex is "no I cant cuz the babies". I am trash.

Inspiration: "music again" by adam lambert, "origin of love" from hedwig and the angry inch,

second to last, lets blast! (a bag of potatoes are thrown at me) ded

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"dates"

Time had flown out the window ever since Noir had shown up outside of Honey Waters. In part due to all of the missions and work following his appearance. It would be a lie to say that the man hadn't put the country through the ringer, especially with his resurrection of the Cabernet. With the backed up mail system and the shroud over the government parting to reveal its inner workings, there simply hadn't been any time to stop and really look at the calendar.

Garrard had suggested the plan to lure in others born on the Day of The Flicker. It was honestly the best the worn out and exhausted staff could do just to deliver the mail at a productive pace, so what more could really be asked of the Hive?

This was why Lag was sitting in his bed – which had been replaced to accommodate the four to five occupants comfortably and also made it impossible to have a desk as well – and thumbing through his calendar. There were visits and letters that needed to be moved up, plans to be pushed aside, and Lag needed to compile them first and foremost.

On the margin of the current week, the boy found his 11 year old hand writing. It was cramped and small, penciled in hastily. It read _Day Gauche delivered me to Cambel_. A warmth surged through the boy and a small smile found its way onto his face.

In all of the chaos of the last few months, he'd nearly forgotten such an important date.

A pair of arms wrapped around him from his left, tugging him close. Lag let out a startled yelp, blinking as he felt a chin rest on his head gently. The boy made a indignant noise, but Noir ignored it as he often did.

"Whats got you smiling, hmm?" he asked, the sound a comfort.

Lag held up the calendar for the man to see. "Its the week I spent with Gauche, with you."

Humming, Noir regarded the date. Of course the boy would write something like that down. It was the most influential event of his life, next to the abduction of his mother. "Its been a while."

Nodding, the boy let his smile widen as he turned his attention back the the date. "Almost six years, now."

"That's an awful long time to pine after someone who 8 out of 10 employees called "a creepy fuck who smelled funny."" 

Lag reached up to flick Noir in the nose. "You smell like a hard worker. Auntie says if a man smells like perfume, he's no good."

Noir resisted the urge to rub where the boy flicked, pulling him closer. "I suppose that's a nice way to excuse smelling like a farm animal."

"I love you," Lag said, cheeks warming. "even if you smell like a homeless person."

"You wound me."

They fell into a lull, content just to be in each others presence. Noir was sturdy and comfortable to lean into, making it easy to forget the world when he was all around the boy. Momentarily, he forgot what he was doing and began to reminisce.

A year ago, he had grand plans of what to do with Gauche when they finally met again. Dates, walking together holding hands, cheesy things. Things he'd never admit to fantasizing about, because Zazie would have laughed and because Connor always had such a nervous smile when Gauche was mentioned.

"You know," the man began, voice soft. "I always thought it was cute that you had so many big plans for meeting Gauche...me, again."

Face warming, the boy tilted his head up to see his lover. "Y-You promised you wouldn't mention that..." he groaned.

Snickering, Noir kissed his forehead. "I'm surprised that you moved so fast though. Two weeks and already in bed? I wouldn't have guess." he teased.

If possible, Lag's face became redder and he looked away. He didn't have any excuse that would really explain anything. In spite of his closeted fantasies, Lag was raised to be a good kid who kept his hands to himself. Sabrina was adamant that he learn that, and he understood the worries. His aunt had seen the happier pregnant couples and the more dire ones.

Of course, there wasn't any real fear of that with Noir, but that didn't stop the hardwired morality from stopping him before things became too heated. And while that shouldn't bother him – he was a kid, this wasn't something he should involve himself with – it did. He wanted to meet all of Noir's needs, the same as the man met his.

Noir frowned, sensing the boy's anxiety. He pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek. "I'm sorry. That was too much."

As the man rubbed his back, Lag felt more like a child and less like the man Gauche had called him years ago. Swallowing back his anxiety, he leaned into the hand and chewed his lip. "I-Its not that..."

The man hummed a bit as he nuzzled his cheek. "No?"

Lag couldn't stop the smile that wormed its way onto his face, tilting his head a bit to escape the affectionate gesture. "No."

"What is it then?" Noir asked, sitting up properly to see the boy's face.

Worrying his lip, Lag attempted to put the words together. It was easy in his head, but verbalizing them... "Its just that...You always take care of me..." he mumbled, fidgeting with his sweater sleeve. "I want to be able to do that for you, but I..."

It dawned on the man slowly, ever as socially inept as he had been 6 years ago. "I see..." he murmured.

Nodding, Lag shrugged helplessly. "I just...I get so nervous and I..." he trailed off, blinking when he felt a hand card through his hair lightly. Looking up, he frowned a bit.

"Its fine." Noir said simply, brushing the boy's messy hair aside and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You already give me more than enough. I don't need anything like that."

Heart thumping in his chest, Lag fought the growing urge to start crying. "H-Honest...? B-Because I'll do it, r-really...!"

"I know you will." the man hummed, pulling him close and brushing through Lag's hair with his fingers. "But you don't need to. I'm happy as we are."

Just when Lag thought he couldn't love the man any more than he did, he seemed to find a way to prove him wrong. Swallowing hard, Lag nodded dumbly and buried his face in his lover's chest. "T-Thank you..."

"Its nothing." Noir said, glancing at the calendar. "Why don't we go out for pizza with Sylvette later? Celebrate Gauche day."

"Gauche day?" Lag echoed, glancing up. "But its Gauche _week_."

Noir shook his head. "You only get one day. Its already the middle of the week, it's too late."

"I think you're just bitter because there isn't a Noir day." Lag said, sitting up properly.

The man hummed to himself, tapping the calendar. "Alright. You can have Gauche week, but next week is Noir week. How about that?"

"That's an awful lot of holidays..." the boy said, fighting back a smile.

"Its Noir week or no week at all."

Laughing, the boy straightened up and set the calendar down on the nightstand. "Alright, alright. You're as pushy as Niche."

The man snorted. Now there was a laugh. But it was good to see Lag smiling and relaxed again. As much as Noir enjoyed toying with the boy and pressing his buttons, a genuinely upset Lag was not something he wanted to see.

Stretching up a bit, Lag pecked him on the cheek. "Alright, so maybe not that stubborn."

"That's a start." Noir said, nuzzling his nose.

As the two fell into a comfortable banter once again, Lag couldn't help but feel thankful that he could do this at all. After all of the empty nights searching for the man, after all the heartbreak and hurt, he could finally see his long lost idol. As embarrassing as it was to admit, Lag felt like he was living the dream. And he never wanted to wake up from it.

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"music"

 _When the Earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire, mountains stretched up to the sky – sometimes higher. Folks roamed the Earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms, two sets of legs!_

 _They had two faces peering out of one giant head! So they could look all around while they talked and while they read._

 _And they never knew nothin' of love. It was before the Origin Of Love._

"That sounds lovely."

Looking up from where he was lounging on the couch, Lag beamed. "Doesn't it? A customer gave it to me."

Noir picked up the carton to the record, raising an eyebrow. A stylish woman with enormous blond hair was painted on the cover, eyes closed with what he assumed was passion. The name didn't ring a bell.

"That was kind of her." he said, turning over the carton to read the track listing.

Lag nodded, turning to face him better. "It was fun. For a moment, it felt like before the Cabernet." he said, leaning his head in his arms.

The boy didn't have to explain what he meant. When times were simple, and dreams were as tall as mountains. Sylvette had told him all about how Lag often ran around solving the woes and mending broken hearts for the citizens he encountered.

Sitting next to the boy, Noir leaned back in the couch and resisted the urge to prop his feet up. "Tell me about it?"

Blinking, Lag laughed a bit. "I-Its really not anything interesting...I just... helped a lady patch things up with someone special to her." At the man's silent questioning face, Lag itched his cheek. "They were having a huge fight over music...and things I don't really understand." he admitted sheepishly.

"Sounds about right." Noir said, ruffling the boy's hair. Lag whined and attempted to straighten it out again, in vain as that was. "These songs seem rather..."

"In bad taste." Lag supplied helpfully.

"Yes."

The boy gave a sheepish little grin. "She was like that to. I don't really like things like that, but... its a really pretty album."

As the soft melody continued, the two paused to listen. The lyrics told a story of injustice and hubris, reaching a crescendo that left Lag's stomach in knots. He was almost thankful for the brief, soft reprieve of the music that flowed between the bridge and chorus.

Swallowing, the boy laid his head on Noir's shoulder as he tugged him closer. Great bouts of emotion were not common in the usual music. Lag could certainly understand why the quarreling couple hadn't been able to take off in the thin air of Central.

"Its so sad..." he murmured, chewing his lip.

Noir nodded, rubbing his back gently. He wasn't sure if the boy next to him was on the same page as he was, emotionally, but the song had struck a painful chord. He had half a mind to turn off the gramophone, but he could tell Lag was still listening to the singer's voice as it swelled into a passionate epilogue of sorts.

That's _the pain, that cuts a straight line down through the heart; We called it love! We wrapped our arms 'round each other, tried to shove ourselves back together. We were makin' lo-_

Lag fumbled to stop the record, face red. It cut off with a grating whine and the boy sighed in relief. Noir watched in in a befuddled amusement, tilting his head. Glancing back awkwardly, Lag realized how crazy he must look.

"U-Um..." he stammered, swallowing hard. "I-I'm not comfortable with the rest of it..."

It struck Noir as ironic that Lag could witness horrific tragedies and still find it in himself to be uncomfortable with a topic like sex. Especially since it wasn't anything detailed here. "That's alright."

Lag sighed, sitting back down heavily on the couch. Face still red, he fought to find the right words to say. "I know its stupid..." he mumbled, hanging his head.

The man rubbed his back reassuringly. "No, it isn't" After meeting his aunt, Noir could understand where the boy's often rather conservative behavior and thinking came from.

An awkward silence filled their pause in conversation. Without the gramophone to fill it, it was almost suffocating. Swallowing back his anxiety, Lag mumbled, "D-Do you ever think of that...?"

Glancing down at the boy, Noir blinked. "Think of what?"

Lag gestured to the gramophone awkwardly. "That. W-What she was saying."

Noir wasn't sure quite what the boy was getting at. It could be the topic of sex or something existential, who knew. He chose not to prod the boy's sensitive disposition. "The topic she's talking about is actually a story I've read before."

Blinking owlishly, Lag asked, "Huh...? It is?"

"Mhm." Noir looked skyward, attempting to recall the strange language. "Its called the Symposium. Something different in another language, I think." he supplied, and as an afterthought, "By a man named...Plato, I think."

Lag looked at the former outlaw as if he was talking in tongues. Then, the name clicked. Blinking, he said, "One of those Greek philosophers."

Noir nodded, "Yes."

Lag hummed, tilting his head as he processed the information. "It sounds...depressing."

"Its actually quite uplifting." Noir said, pulling Lag closer in a one armed hug. "It ends on the idea that we can find our missing half."

Lag glanced up at him, blinking. "You believe that...?"

"I'm not sure. I think its...an optimistic thought." Definitely a nicer idea to go to bed thinking of than the creeping dread existing outside of the house. "I'd like that, if it were true."

Chewing his lip, the boy turned the words in his head. If the story were true, he wondered if Noir was his other half. It had dawned on him a week ago, while listening to Sabrina's tale of his birth, that Gauche's missing eleven years were inside of him. Swallowed up without a thought, without meaning, leaving him empty and ever searching to fill that gaping whole.

The thought made him sick. He had more in common with Zeus than with the humans in the story. For all he knew, Gauche was supposed to be living happily with Aria and Sylvette. Stomach turning, the boy shook off the thoughts.

It didn't matter, he told himself. That was the past. What mattered was the future, the present. He found he didn't like that song so much after all.

000

The world rushed around him as he stood still. That's how it felt, without Lag's sunny smiles and comforting warmth next to him at night. Closing his eyes against the blinding sunlight, Noir fought to stay away from Central. He had a job still to do.

Roda hefted a heavy sack onto the deck of the gilded boat. "You're spacing out again." She chided softly.

Blinking, the man shook his head. "Sorry."

Eying her companion, the girl's brows knitted. "You've been distracted lately. Are you thinking of him?"

The air seemed to leave Noir when Lag was mentioned. He'd grown used to the vacuum the boy's disappearance left in him. "Its almost time for the plan."

Roda nodded, lifting another sack. "He will be there."

Pausing in his task of arranging the hefty bags, Noir frowned. It still bothered him to know that Roda knew where the boy was, that Lag didn't try to reach out to him. "I know."

He just wasn't sure if he would be able to look at Lag after all this time. If he could muscle through the bitterness and the heartache.

000

It wasn't hard to see the magic in the landscape that singer had described. Whenever Lag closed his eyes, he found himself in a field of tall, wispy grass. Sometimes he'd lay in it and watch the clouds climb into the endless sky above him.

He knew now that the singer had been right in the descriptions of Earth. Before Spiritus had sucked the life from it, the world had been majestic. Mountains truly did touch the sky, clouds climbed above him dyed red with the sunset.

He wished Noir could see it. He wished everyone he knew could see it. But most of all, Lag wished he could watch Noir see the world as he could now. Lag knew that when they next met, he might not be able to.

0000000000

I combined two for one! Cuz...well, I loved both prompts and I couldnt settle so...there. Tis done.


	58. B15 Echoes

(weeping loudly, doesnt wanna stop)

s-so this is the last chapter. But...that said, its open ended, because i'd like to make a sequel maybe someday. So i'm leaving some things mysterious for now.

Warnings: possibly ooc?  
Inspiration: "please mr postman" by the marvelettes, "wicked little town reprise" from hedwig and the angry inch.

Well...here it goes.

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"echoes"

They say that when a pebble is dropped in the water, the resulting ripples can be felt far from the epicenter. With more confidence than he could express, Lag believed that Gauche was the pebble in the river that was his life. Shaking Lag from the fear that his life would always be chaos and misery, teaching him control, showing him that there was more inside of the boy than stolen Heart and death.

Proof that, above all else, Lag was a person and not a monster. That he could be something.

000

A clock chimed loudly from the center of the town, alerting the citizens that it was early morning. Time to rise and shine and get a move on. From his window overlooking the main street, Lag could see the bustle of people as they made their way to work. For some, it was a trek home after a night of drunken revelry.

Cambel Litus was a self contained city, chilly from the ocean it opened onto. Yet, as Lag had learned over the last year, there was a warmth that he couldn't begin to describe in the citizens. At the bottom of the country, the port town was all alone. All they had was each other

It was a familiar warmth that reminded the boy of his dear friend. That over abundance of kindness called out to him at a molecular level. It was a wonder he'd managed to survive at all, with how his own Heart cried out within these walls.

He was going to miss it.

A knock came at his door. Turning, Lag blinked. A tall, plump woman stood in the doorway, her imposing figure blocking the view of the hall. It belied a great kindness deep inside of her. Glancing around the room, the woman sighed heavily, shoulders slumping a bit.

"It already don't look right in here without you." she mourned.

Smiling faintly, Lag said, "Its not forever, auntie."

"Its long enough. But I know I cant stop you." Sabrina made her way to the boy, setting her hands on her hips. "This is all you're taking? You'll freeze out there." she chided.

On the tidy bed was a suitcase packed with clothing, warm blankets and a gun. In his pocket were a wallet, a letter from Gauche and his mother's photo. Hardly enough to keep a regular human going in the unforgiving mountains and valleys outside of town, but more than enough for Lag.

"It'll be fine, really." the boy said, gesturing to the bag next to it. "I have more in there."

Sabrina gave the bag half a glance, before letting out another sigh. The thought of her dear friend's child, the boy she'd grown so attached to, wandering off into the darkness of Amberground alone was unsettling at the least.

But what could she really say to stop him? Even Sabrina was worried about Anne's disappearance and the sudden silence from the boy's pen-pal was equally troubling. How could the woman tell him not to go seek out answers when she herself wanted them?

Still... "I wish I could go with you."

Lag laughed a bit. "You wont be missing much..."

"Not the point." Sabrina said, watching the boy turn to close the suitcase. As he turned back, bag slung over his shoulder and suitcase in hand, the need to keep him there felt suffocating.

Lag gasped as he was hefted into the air in a bone crushing hug. Even with the air knocked from his lungs, he found it in him to smile and hug his aunt back, dropping the suitcase to wrap his arms around her properly. She was warm and soft, sturdy. Without the woman, Lag knew he never would have lasted without his mother or Gauche to hover over him. She'd taught him so much, helped him through so much...

"I-I'm gonna miss you, auntie..." he murmured, nuzzling her shoulder in an attempt to wipe away his tears discreetly.

Sabrina pressed her cheek to his head and felt her own eyes welling up. "Its just for a little while. Right?"

Sniffing, Lag nodded. "Y-Yeah."

Only a little while...

000

The trek through town felt doubly long this morning than it ever did before. The friends he'd managed to acquire in the year he'd spent in Cambel Litus found time to stop and bid him farewell and his aunt stopped at stalls to inquire about supplies as they passed them.

By the time they came to the town's towering gates, Lag felt drained. Swallowing back his nerves, the boy turned to face his aunt. If he felt drained, she looked twice that, the lines in her face somehow more prominent. Smiling weakly, Lag stepped towards her and hugged her tightly. He was swallowed up immediately in an warm embrace.

There really wasn't much that felt as good as being hugged by a loved one.

After what felt like eternity, Sabrina released the boy. Wiping her eye lightly, she said, "Y-You should get going... the train will leave if you stay much longer."

Sniffing, Lag nodded clunkily. "Y-Yeah..."

The gate creaked, chains clinking noisily as it lowered to make a bridge. Stomach turning, the boy turned to watch. It felt wrong...leaving like this. Spitting in the face of everything Gauche and his mother had worked so hard for. But he couldn't stay, knowing that something had happened. Something he caused, probably.

Facing Sabrina again, the boy smiled weakly and waved. "T-Thank you for everything, auntie. I'll be back before you know it!"

Sabrina watched the boy as he walked backwards, his watery smile belying his desire to stay. "Its nothin', Lag. Be safe!"

"I will!"

Before he could chicken out, the boy turned and hurried down the road. As beautiful as the trees looked as they waved in the breeze, or the stars were as they sparkled, Lag couldn't find it in him to appreciate the beauty.

Everything hurt and everything told the boy to turn back. Memories of stumbling to the gate exhausted a year ago came to mind and thoughts of his mother choked him. But he didn't give in to the near suffocating urge to turn around and run home.

He would find his mother and Gauche again. And if it hurt along the way, he deserved it twice the amount. Lag would not let his mistakes go uncorrected and he wouldn't leave his friend to suffer.

000000000000000

thank you all so much for reading and supporting this fic. Its meant so much, seeing kudos and reviews and watches and favs...i dont think i've ever been as happy as when I was writing this. Thank you all so much!


	59. K15 Liar

T-this one...its not everything I ever wanted it to be. But...i think that might be a good thing. It doesn't answer everything 100% either, but I think thats good to. I struggled a lot with this one to. But... its done. If I could rewrite one of these, it'd be this fic in particular but! It was a lot of fun anyway!

Warnings: dark topics, suicide.

Inspiration: "liar" vocaloid song, I think by miku? Maybe luka?

W-well... last one.

000000

"liar"

Darkness swallowed them up whole. Somehow, Lag seemed to be able to find his way. As the boy slowly limped through the narrow passageway, Gauche felt his heart tug. Memories struggled to worm their way through the cobwebs of his mind, and part of him wanted desperately to clamp down on them.

It wasn't so much that talking wasn't allowed, as much as Gauche felt it might break the near ethereal strings attaching himself to Lag right then. Through the boy, he could see an entire world. Tall, glassy pillars with creatures frozen inside their icy caskets. Slick cobblestones and a lake. So much more than he could express or could be written.

Beyond even that, he could _feel_ Lag. Somehow, deep inside, he could feel a warmth that lead him to the boy. And as terrifying as that was, Gauche refused to willingly cut that tie. So he stayed quiet.

The pathway began to narrow. It felt abrupt, but the man chalked it up to the darkness playing tricks with his sense of space. Lag reached out and pressed against a skinny door. It didn't budge. As the boy frowned, Gauche set a hand on his shoulder. Blinking, Lag glanced up to him. An unspoken offer stood and the boy moved out of the way.

With a few hard shoves, the door groaned and fell away from the frigid stone walls. Catching himself before he tumbled down with it, Gauche braced himself against the icy blast of wind. Beyond the narrow hall they had left, a familiar courtyard sprawled out ahead of them. Gauche swallowed back his dread.

Lag wormed his way out around him, coming to a standstill beside the man. His breath caught as he took in the crumbling eastern wing of the fortress. What wasn't shattered or caved in, had been blasted away at with guns enough to leave the once smooth stone looking like Swiss cheese. The hardy evergreen shrubs that had once lined the neatly shoveled pathways were over turned, their spindly roots reaching up to the sky like lifeless fingers.

If the two had any doubts about the mayor's account of the fortress, it was wiped away.

His home...everything...

A warm hand settled on his shoulder, drawing the boy from the crushing emptiness that had begun to settle over him. Swallowing hard, Lag leaned against the man. "I want...I want to know what happened here. Maybe...maybe, mother..."

The boy's desperate whispers broke Gauche's heart. But he didn't offer his own personal fears up for him to choke on. "We should head for her chambers then."

Lag nodded quickly, tangling their fingers together. With a light tug, he began to head along the crumbling courtyard, steering clear of the collapsing eaves. Gauche followed without a word, a feeling of dread swallowing him up as they approached the gaping, doorless entryway. They were flanked by crumbled hedges, as if to guide them towards a hungry mouth.

Inside was in much the state of the outside. The castle opened into a foyer, the torn and filthy carpet still marked with muddy boot prints. Lag didn't remember the walls being decorated much, but the little art that hung had been ripped down and the pale part of the stone walls shone like an exposed bone. There were three doors here, but Lag knew from the courtyard that one was blocked by rubble and the second was close to following after it.

Stepping through the door ahead of them, the boy felt his heart thump painfully in his chest. What once had been a grand staircase and a beautiful ball room, was now cluttered with debris. A hole in the ceiling allowed the snow to freely drift onto the cracked tiles below. A snow drift had long since formed, high and blocking a portion of the staircase.

It was as empty and bleak inside this place as it was inside of Lag's heart right then.

Gauche could almost smell the coppery smell of blood still staining the room. It had little to do with the battle that had taken place in the castle, existing only in his mind.

Tugging the boy's hand, Gauche attempted to urge his little friend forward. Something about this room, with its wide open emptiness and rows of mottled pillars, set a deep chill through him. Lag, surprisingly, followed without much resistance. They made their way up the groaning staircase, testing their weight carefully as they went.

With every step, it felt as if the air grew heavier around them. Unbeknownst to Gauche, Lag could see the thick banks of Heart that billowed up around them with every movement. It felt like trudging through the thick snow outside, almost.

It felt...wrong.

Wrong to be here, wrong to see these halls without warm lights and the smiling staff as he passed them on his way to his mothers bedroom. Some part, however small, prayed that he'd open up her door and see her resting in bed as if nothing had changed.

The door to her room had been kicked in.

Swallowing hard, Lag let go of the man's hand. Stepping over the mess of wood and splinters, he held his breath. Everything looked like it had the night before he'd escaped with Gauche. Wandering into the room, the boy cast a glance around the dark room.

Her vanity, the beautiful dark wood dusty but overall unharmed, sat against the wall. Her bottles of perfume and tins of makeup sat, unused and untouched. The glass of the mirror showed his smudged, foggy reflection.

The ornate rug Lag had loved to play on as a child was moth eaten and molding, but he could still smell where he had spilled her mint perfume on it. The book shelf still held the thick books and his picture books.

Everything seemed exactly as it should be, except that his mother was missing.

Gauche stood in the doorway, watching the boy wander about in his daze. It felt wrong to intrude. But the further away Lag got, the less Gauche could stand the way those intangible threads connecting them strained. He took a step into the room. All at once, the weight of the past nearly crushed him, the wriggling memories struggling to escape with renewed vigor.

Unaware, Lag took a seat on the bed. It groaned miserably under his slight form. "Why did this happen...?"

There were many reasons. Many unkind truths. Too many things. But Gauche knew that those weren't what Lag was searching out answers for. He didn't answer him. Some things were best left without an answer.

Spotting something under the bed, Gauche frowned. He knelt down, fishing it out and blowing the dust off. It was an ornate journal, one he recognized from the many nights he waited on Anne. With trembling fingers, he opened it. It was bookmarked near the end of the book, and he turned to it slowly. A folded, yellowed note tumbled out.

Eying the paper, a feeling of trepidation blanketed him. This wasn't his to look at. A shuffling of fabric snapped the man from his thoughts. Glancing up, he spotted Lag watching him curiously, blinking.

"Whats that...?"

Worrying his lip, Gauche offered it to the boy. Lag took it hesitantly, unfolding the worn paper carefully. He skimmed it, the color draining from his cheeks. "Its...from my mother." he murmured.

Gauche watched the boy warily. "What does it say...?"

Lag didn't answer him for a long moment, the light draining from his eye. Alarmed, the man stood and went to his side, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Lag?"

The boy shoved the paper into his chest, shoulders quaking with the effort to suppress his rising anguish. Frowning, Gauche rubbed his back and pulled him close, ignoring the paper for the moment. A cold sweat had broken out on the boy's neck and face, the chill in the air doing little to help.

"R-Read it..." he breathed, voice catching.

He wasn't sure he wanted to, after a reaction like that. Chewing his lip, Gauche took the crumpled paper and smoothed it out. Anne's delicately looping handwriting caught his attention at once.

 _By the time you read this, I'll already be gone._

 _I want you to know, Lag, the truth. I'm sure you've heard from the newspapers, the story of what this place has done. Or maybe Gauche has kept you from the harsh truth. I want you to know though, what happened. Why you left how you did. The truth about your life. About the villagers, about the castle, about everything..._

000

Pitter patter.

Pitter patter.

The only noise Gauche had heard in days was the soft drip drop of water from the ceiling. No tapping of Lag's little feet, not the tortured sounds of fellow prisoners weeping or their delirious rants.

It was too quiet.

It drove the man mad. Where had all of the noise gone...?

Without warning, the silence ended. A tired servant approached the cell and unlocked it. "The Empress wants to see you."

000

"Please...I need your help."

Anne was a shell of her former self. Her beautiful cornflower hair fell in limp strips along her thinning cheeks and shoulders. Gauche stood at her bedside, lost and afraid of the faint way she spoke. As if at any moment, she might vanish.

Nodding dumbly, he watched a thin smile tug at her lips, before it fell again. "They want to do something...something awful, to Lag." she murmured. Dread shot through Gauche like lightening. "If he stays..."

Gauche didn't need to hear anymore. Years of servitude, of being forced to participate in the deranged rituals, had taught him exactly what would happen to Lag. He himself had skated by with luck. And a fair bit of help from this woman.

Swallowing hard, the man nodded shakily. "Of course. But...where...?"

"It doesn't matter." Anne said, more conviction to her voice than he'd expected. "Far from this town. It doesn't matter where. Just...keep him safe."

000

Anne watched from her window as two dark silhouettes raced through the open air halls of the courtyard. Gauche had been entrusted with a heavy bronze key, the only exit from this never ending nightmare.

The two slipped into the shadows. And like that, they were gone.

Warring feelings of sorrow and relief flooded the woman. Shoulders slumping, Anne closed her eyes and let out shaky breath. As much as it killed her to watch her precious son go, she knew in her heart that this was right.

Sitting at her desk, Anne took out her well worn notebook. She opened it, skimming it with a faint smile. Memories of Lag's birth, of his first smile and laugh, how Gauche had helped her care for him, passed over her minds eye as if they had happened just the other day.

She stopped on a fresh page, the pen nib poised to write. Closing her eyes again, Anne thought of what to write. On the off chance that Lag returned, though she prayed he never would, she wanted the boy to know the truth. Her diary would tell a story of heartbreak and misery, but she wanted her last message to him to be full of warmth. Of love and hope.

 _You might not have been the messiah. But to me, you were the world. You may not have been born from a happy union, or from the gods, but I wouldn't trade these years for anything._

 _I want you to live happily. I want you to build a happy life away from here, where no more heart ache can find you. Hopefully, Gauche can find you that life._

 _I'm sorry that I couldn't be here for you. I have so many things I want to say, to see. But I will have to settle for knowing you will be safe from this place. That is enough, for now._

 _Don't lose heart, Lag. Be brave and keep looking to the future. I know you can do it. Someday, we'll meet again._

 _I love you. Good bye._

A clatter of metal and the sounds of shouting echoed in the hallways. Pausing in her writing, Anne chewed her lip hard. They must have realized that their offering had gone missing. Carefully, the woman bookmarked the place in her diary and looked around.

Where wouldn't they find it...?

000

So much and so little had been answered by the letter. More than could be read, the glowing Heart that lingered around the corners of their eyes clued them into the true story. At some point, Lag's amber eye had reacted to the excess of Heart.

It was beautiful and disquieting to see the faint crimson glow seep out and around the boy's snowy bangs. But, slowly, it faded. Whatever residual energy had been left in the amber had been exhausted.

They sat in silence, on the creaking mattress, surrounded by the cold and dust. The shadow of the snow falling outside felt like a creeping web, coming to swallow them up. Gauche wrapped an arm around the boy, pulling his stiff body close.

Lag let his head fall onto the man's shoulder, breathing shaky and eye welling up. Everything was finally catching up. His mothers last words, the hidden truths he'd yet to read inside of the book that hung limply from his hand. The things he could see and hear from those dim, fogged over frames of Heart.

Suddenly, the room felt frigid. Even under his thick layers of new clothing, the cold invaded and seeped into his bones. Beside him, Gauche attempted to rub life back into his arms in gentle motions. He pressed his lips to the boy's head, murmuring softly to him now and then.

Lag didn't know how long they'd sat in that room, cold and alone, before he heard Gauche speak.

"We can...we can make a life, still. Somewhere far from here." _Like your mother wanted._

A dull ache tugged at the boy's heart. "We've tried." he murmured.

The distant memory of the warm port town in the south came to mind. Kindly townsfolk, the closest thing to a mother he'd had in years, their little boarding room.

Even perfection had been shattered. No matter where they went, Lag only brought misery and ruin. There was no point in searching for a new home.

Gauche took a slow breath and fought to find the right words to say. It took a moment. "What do you want to do?"

The man's soft words drove a stake into his heart. But Lag knew, even if his mother didn't believe in him, that he and Gauche were tied together now. Always had been. What he wanted, Gauche would want.

Closing his eye, Lag felt a sort of peace settle over him. "Lets disappear."

There was a pause. For a long moment, he thought that maybe his lover and guardian had left him. His chest ached at the thought. But Gauche didn't leave him hanging for long. A pair of chapped, chilly lips pressed against his temple.

"Alright."

Warmth flooded Lag. He tightened his hold on Gauche's coat. "Thank you."

Gauche would follow him anywhere. Into hell, into heaven, it didn't matter. Reaching into the waistband of his pants, the boy traced the cold edge of his worn hunting knife. The muscles of his belly jumped a bit. Gauche's larger hand settled over his.

"Its nothing."

0000000000

so the mentality is a bit hard to follow, but it should come together if you reread it. I thought the logic would be better if I didnt explore it too deeply. Afterall, that kind of hopelessness doesnt usually make sense and even if you could, you couldnt truly describe the hole that lags fallen into. But either way, i'm happy with this!


	60. M15 Love

Easily the longest of all the last chapters. Its so long, it felt like years. But! I really like how it came out. Even if it glides over some information. I do intend to do a cute oneshot about this particular part of the story tho.

Warnings: ooc, angst, underage shit

inspiration: "love story" by taylor swift, "cant help falling in love with you" by elvis, "rosas" by la oreja de van gogh.

Well...onward!

0000000000000

 _Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving gives you courage._

Lao Tzu

"love"

It had been six months since Lag sent the letter. In that time, he and Sabrina had come to an understanding. Zazie had gotten a job at the local post office with Connor. His troublesome pug had finally learned how to behave and the ice flows in the harbor had finally cleared.

No letter had returned for him. No word from Gauche, or Sylvette.

Dread had begun to settle in the boy's stomach from the end of February. Sabrina, in her endless patience and wisdom, had suggested that perhaps it just hadn't reached Lag yet. It was no secret that the roads were hellish this time of year and the post office was serviceable at best this far out from Central. There was no reason to worry.

It did little to sooth the knot in his stomach as March crawled to an end. Eventually, Sabrina's calm reassurance began to fade. Even Zazie found it difficult to continue cheering up his friend. It had been mailed in the end of December, it should have reached Gauche by now. The man was always prompt with his replies. _Why wasn't he responding?_

May was rounding the corner now. Still no sign of Gauche.

000

Between school and studying for exams, Lag hadn't found time to leave the house in what felt like days. Heaving a sigh, the boy tugged his thin jacket closer to himself. The dry air still had a bite to it after four in the afternoon, something he was looking forward to leaving soon.

Sabrina had asked him to run to the grocery store and get some milk, despite the full bottle Lag had seen in the icebox. Kicking a pebble, the boy sighed again. He knew it was a thinly veiled attempt to get him to leave the house. He'd been cooped up in his room, pouring over text books for so long that his vision was getting fuzzy around the edges.

School was winding to a fever pitch, speeding towards June without any heed to Lag's mental health or physical well being. It was all he could do to keep up with the homework or helping with his aunt's midwife business after school.

To be honest, Lag was beyond relieved to be so busy. It gave him little time to think about Gauche or the months that had separated them. If anything, the release from his problems that school and work gave him had become addicting. So much so that he felt anxious and uneasy as he made his way to the grocery store.

Looking up to the rusty sky, Lag wondered if this was what love was supposed to be like. Or if it'd ever stop hurting. He wanted it to, so badly. It occurred to the boy, as he waited at an intersection, that this was what Sabrina had been trying to shield him from. Or at least, part of it.

As traffic slowed to a stop, Lag began to pick his way across the street. A few drivers waved to Lag and called out greetings as he crossed. Putting on a smile, the boy waved and greeted them back. It was hard to make his way anywhere in this town without someone hailing him down. Every car was familiar, just another piece of the background that he made his way across daily.

"Lag...?"

Pausing, the boy felt a chill run down his spine. Turning his head mechanically, Lag turned to look at the origin of the voice. In a familiar beat up truck – Oh god, that truck... he could still see the faded, chipped blue paint from the post office's logo on the side. – , gripping the steering wheel hard as he leaned forward, was Gauche.

As their eyes locked, it felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped over him. Sucking in a harsh breath, Lag stood stock still. Around him, a few cars honked in irritation from behind the beat up old truck. They swerved around the stationary vehicle, making a tidy line of sputtering old cars that circled the two like a river.

Swallowing hard, Gauche leaned out the window of his truck. He was watching Lag as if he were a deer that might dart off if he made a wrong move. For a long moment, only the sound of sputtering cars and noisy pedestrians filled the air.

"G-Gauche..."

000

A thermos of stale coffee sat between them as the truck puttered through the narrow streets. The cracked old leather seats squeaked with every bump of the road and Lag found himself digging his fingers into the familiar old holes in the cracks. The foam and springs were a comfort.

Gauche shifted the old truck as he turned it. Glancing at him from behind the safety of his messy hair, Lag felt his throat close up. Outwardly, not much had changed with the man. Although there were prominent bags under his eyes and his jaw had a faint shadow over it, Gauche seemed to be the same person he'd known before November.

Had Lag changed at all...? The thought seemed foreign, something superfluous when the thought was applied to the puzzle that was his current situation. Lag was almost thirteen and a half now... he felt so lost and small, despite such a big time in his life.

As the truck pulled to a stop, Lag realized they were just outside of town, near the bluffs. The spindly trees that hid the path up had just gotten their leaves back and the rocks were slick with frost. Swallowing hard, the boy unbuckled his seat belt, anxious to escape the memory laden cab. He heard Gauche follow at a much slower pace.

They made their way up the weathered pathway in silence, picking their way across the rocks with practiced ease. It had been an unspoken agreement to wait until they were truly alone, somewhere that their charged conversation wouldn't spill out of. The thought of his aunt finding out that Gauche was not only in town but alone with her nephew was...beyond terrifying.

Lag was, not for the first time, blown away by the beauty of the sea at sunset. The murky cobalt glittered blindingly as it lapped at the sky and sinking sun. All around them, the chilly ruddy stone glowed.

It was hard to imagine a more beautiful and scenic place to finally see Gauche again. Part of him thought it ironic. Coming to stand next to him, the man kept his gaze on the sky beyond the bluffs. They stayed that way for a long moment, the silence pregnant.

"Its beautiful." Gauche murmured.

Lag nodded. "Yeah.."

The silence broke like an egg, the dread released like yolk in the shades of gold and rust around them. The realization that it was too late to back out of this now enveloped them. Closing his eyes, Gauche steeled himself for what was to come.

"Lag..."

A sharp intake of breath caught him off guard. Glancing down, a stake drove through his chest. Lag was so stiff, a hand balled in the fabric of his thin jacket. His gaze stayed on the horizon. Looking away, the man told himself to make this quick. He didn't want to hurt Lag _more_ than he already had.

"I know that...you must have a lot to say to me." he said, the words lodging in his throat.

There was a pause, before Lag found his voice again. "I...I do." he murmured.

Gauche waited for him to speak. When it became apparent to him that the boy had no intentions of it, he decided to give the boy a nudge. "So...?"

Blinking, Lag felt his heart jump into his throat. He hated being put on the spot. Closing his eyes, the boy took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. When he thought he could talk without throwing up, he turned to face the man.

In the light of dusk, Gauche seemed so much more faint and ethereal.

"Why didn't you write back...?" he asked, the hurt cracking his voice, much to his chagrin.

Gauche didn't reply immediately. It wasn't that he hadn't anticipated this question or that he didn't know how to respond, but that it was difficult to put the swirling emotions into words. Words that were honest and didn't shift blame or cause undue pain for either of them.

He wished that he could communicate his thoughts as easily as the waves below them swept in and out. "I only recently got the letter." he explained softly, worrying his lip. "I thought it would be more appropriate to talk to you in person."

The feeling of Lag's unwavering gaze on him made him shift his weight anxiously. He plowed on, words coming at a more frenzied pace. "There was a lot of work, with all the holidays and Sylvette needed to go to the doctor and..."

An accidental glance in Lag's direction made the man pause. The boy's lips pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed. Heaving a short sigh, Gauche felt his stomach clench. Looking back to the sky, he felt a wry smile pull at his lips. "And I was terrified..."

A silence built up between them. In spite of this entire meeting meant to be geared towards answering Lag's concerns and soothing the hurt, all he'd done was cause a bigger rift between them it seemed. It seemed to be all Gauche was capable of.

Biting the inside of his cheek, the man realized that was probably all he'd ever give Lag. Just hurt and heart ache. "I...I'm sorry." he murmured, jaw clenching. "I'm sorry, for all the hurt and all of the trouble I've caused you."

The silence yanked at his heart and Gauche couldn't bring himself to look at Lag. Couldn't bring himself to acknowledge the bitterness he'd see in that sweet, sunny face. Closing his eyes, he pushed out the words he wasn't sure he honestly meant. "If...If I could take it all back...I wou-"

"Don't say that!"

Startled, the man turned to look in Lag's direction. He was met with a body crashing into him, almost toppling Gauche. Blinking quickly, the man felt two arms pull him into a tight hug, a nose burying itself in his torso.

"D-Don t ever say that again!" Lag cried, shoulders quaking as he shook his head fast.

As the boy hiccuped, warm tears dampening his shirtfront, Gauche felt his heart skip a beat. Whatever Lag was thinking, he couldn't say for sure. But he didn't care right then either. Wrapping him up in a hug.

He'd grown up like a weed... Gauche could almost press his face to the boy's head without bending down. "I'm sorry..."

They stayed that way for a long time. Just reveling in each other's embrace, as if the world didn't exist. Gauche carded his fingers through the boy's hair slowly, relishing in the silky texture. It had grown some. Turning to press his cheek to the man's hand, Lag sighed softly.

A smile tugged at Gauche's lips, brushing away a tear stain with his thumb gently. Opening his eyes partway, Lag felt his cheeks warm. After nearly eight months of being denied the comfort of his touch, it was nearly overwhelming. Swallowing back his reservations, he leaned up on his tiptoes. Gauche met him midway, dipping to press their lips together.

Lag was as warm and sweet as he'd been so long ago.

Gathering the boy up in his arms, he pulled him closer. Lag's hands fisted in the back of his worn jacket, eyes sinking closed. This was what drowning felt like, he thought. Breath lost, world spinning, it was all Lag could manage just to hold on.

And just like that, it was over. Panting, the boy pushed lightly at Gauche's chest. Sucking in a breath, Gauche pulled away and looked down at Lag in confusion. He wasn't looking at him. Dread filled the man.

Gently, hesitantly, he murmured, "Whats wrong...?"

Taking a deep breath, the boy kept his eyes closed. It took a long moment before he could speak, his heart hammering against his ribs. The absolute powerlessness was unbearable. Being tossed around in a sea of emotions like a wayward toy ship, being lead around on a string of sweet words and warm hands was becoming impossible to handle.

The memory of the last time those hands had been on him knocked the wind from Lag.

"Lag...?"

"I-I cant do this..." he said weakly, not looking at the man.

A silence blanketed them. It felt impossibly heavy and Lag couldn't find his breath for a moment. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he looked up. The look of sheer hurt and confusion in Gauche's eyes nearly sent him reeling back into that inescapable need to pretend.

"I-Its not...Its not that I don't love you..." Lag began, fumbling for the right words, even as Gauche seemed to retreat from him. "Its just that..." he paused, biting his lip as he tried to voice it. "I-I'm not ready for this..." he admitted, letting his head drop miserably.

For a second time, the moment seemed to never end. When he thought it never might, a warm hand on his head startled the boy. Blinking, Lag looked up, eyes stinging. Gauche offered a faint smile, petting him gently.

"I understand."

Staring at him, Lag felt his throat start to close up as dewy tears began to well up. "I-Its... Its not forever, w-we can still be f-friends and...!"

Lag was gathered up into a gentle hug. Warm and safe from the cold or the heart ache. Face pressed to the man's chest, he heard him say, "Its alright, Lag."

Swallowing hard, Lag let himself relax into the embrace. Gauche brushed his fingers through the boy's hair, soothing him as his little friends shoulders began to quake. It wasn't that Gauche truly understood, not really. It was that just knowing Lag was alright, that he could continue to be in his life was a precious gift.

Snuffling, the boy murmured a soft, "Thank you..."

000

The ride back home felt impossibly long. Even once the peace had been made and even though the silence between them was a comfortable one, it felt as if Lag was waiting for a very important letter to come. Gauche shifted the old truck as he pulled up along side Lag's house, noting the lit up windows. Sabrina's silhouette could be seen peering from the kitchen window, before it vanished.

Taking a deep breath, Lag turned to smile weakly up at his friend. "I really missed you...I'm glad we could talk again."

Gauche returned the smile, tired but genuine. "Me to."

His aunt was waiting for him in the house, probably terrified of what might be happening. The chill in the air began to pervade the drafty cab. Tugging his coat closed a bit more, the boy swallowed back his anxiety.

"Can...can I keep writing to you?" he murmured.

The slight shake in his voice was not lost on Gauche. "Of course, Lag." he said, nodding. "We're friends."

"Friends..."

It felt...foreign and wrong, somehow. In spite of the fierce heart ache it caused him, Lag leaned against the man, nuzzling his shoulder. "Thank you..."

"Its nothing."

By the time Lag disengaged from Gauche, night had fully set on the sleepy town of Cambel. The street lamps were burning brightly as he watched the old truck putter away and down the narrow street.

Just like that, he was alone. Alone to his thoughts and the sound of the front door opening. Sabrina's voice registered in his head, but he could barely wrap his mind around what just happened. It wasn't until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder that Lag snapped out of the daze he'd been in.

Turning to face the woman, Lag felt empty for just a moment. Then, the waves of emotion crashed hard over him.

"A-Auntie..."

At the sight of his crumbling expression, Sabrina pulled him into a tight hug. "Oh, Lag..."

Without missing a beat, Lag buried his face in her chest, shoulders quaking. He heard her soft voice murmur to him, her big tough hands rubbing his back. Somehow, she was easing the tears out of his already aching eyes. Like a skilled artist whittled away at stone until it became something beautiful.

Sabrina didn't pressure him to talk that night. They went back into the house, warmed up with dinner, went about their nightly rituals and retired to their bedrooms. Lag couldn't have been more grateful.

As he lay in his bed that night, watching the rain patter against his window, Lag knew he'd done the right thing. Not for his aunt or for Gauche, but for himself. As much as it broke his heart and as much as it hurt Gauche, Lag knew this was what he himself needed. No pressure, no conflicting loyalties, just time to grow and work through the storm of thoughts and emotions.

Painful as the last year had been, Lag was happy he'd had those long empty months to see the world in a new light. Even if that light burned right now.

000

"It don't feel right, seein' this room so empty." Sabrina mourned, looking around her nephew's once cluttered bedroom.

"Its only for a bit." Lag soothed, folding his clothes as neatly as he could.

His aunt nudged him aside and refolded the shirt, sighing. "How are you goin' to live on your own, when you cant even fold a shirt?"

A small smile curved the boy's lips. "I'm not going to be alone. I'll be sharing a room with another student."

Sabrina didn't seem all that comforted by this. Lag wasn't sure he blamed her. Even if they were supervised, the idea of strange young men his age being left mostly to themselves was not a comforting one. He supposed the memory of Gauche helped to cement that sentiment.

For the most part, his room was the same as the day before. Outside of his clothing and some personal mementos, all of Lag's things remained intact. It wasn't as if he was leaving forever, after all.

"Still, Yusari is so far away..."

"Auntie..."

"I know, I know." Sabrina said, sighing and shaking her head. "Its just a bridge away, nothin' that cant be crossed for a day trip." she eyed Lag as he laughed quietly. "And you better come visit. Don't think just 'cuz you're a few cities away, that I wont come find you."

Smiling warmly, the boy nodded. "I know, auntie."

It felt strange sometimes, to be treated like a child. At the age of fifteen, Lag felt more confused about the world now than he had ever before. But in spite of all the tumultuous emotions, life had pushed right on along. With entrance exams and a thriving economy on the rise, the time to act was now.

And whether or not Lag was ready, adulthood wouldn't wait. His teachers had insisted he attend a prestigious boarding school in Central, one that he'd worked hard to find the money for from side jobs and scholarships. It would be a waste to chicken out now.

Sabrina helped him close up his suitcases and haul them off downstairs. Heart in his throat, the familiar sound of a beat up old truck pulling up outside stopped his thoughts. Lag heard his aunt mutter something about never wasting a moment, but the sight of that recently washed, faded blue logo along the dented metal soothed his nerves.

Some things never changed. Gauche still found him at the right time, as if nearly a year of missing time had never happened.

Sabrina, with the patience and kindness of a saint, opened the door just as the man was about to knock. He stood there awkwardly, swallowing hard. "H-Hello, Ms. Mary..."

Raising an eyebrow, the woman remarked, "You got here fast. Did you run down some people to get here?"

"N-No, ma'am."

Stepping aside with a sigh, Sabrina allowed Gauche to enter. "C'mon in, we're not quite ready yet."

Swallowing back his anxiety, Gauche did as told. He stood rigidly by the door until he was certain it was alright, tugging off his shoes and shucking off his heavy coat. Sabrina caught Lag's stare, lips forming a thin line. Looking away quickly, the boy busied himself with making sure he had everything ready to go.

As much as his aunt tried to postpone the inevitable by double checking his luggage or making small talk with Gauche, time seemed to get away from them. Before long, they were loading his suitcases into the back of the truck. It wasn't much, but it seemed like so much now that it was out of Lag's hands.

Turning to face Sabrina, Lag gasped as he was swallowed up in a tight hug. Blinking a few times, he wrapped his arms around her tightly. Warm and safe. Nuzzling into her shoulder, he felt a smile tug his lips.

"Make sure you write to me, alright?"

"I will, auntie."

"And don't work too hard! You need to take a break now and then!"

"I know."

Tightening her hold, Sabrina murmured, "And don't forget about me, while you're off growing up. Alright?"

Heart aching, Lag scrubbed in vain at a tear. "I-I wont."

Letting out a watery laugh, Sabrina chided, "Don't you start the water works, you!"

Lag hiccuped, scrubbing his eyes. "I-I'm not!"

Gauche watched the tiny family with a small smile, closing the back of the truck and locking it. It was hard not to be envious of Lag, for having such a warm and loving aunt. He'd only known Anne a bit, and although his time with Sabrina had been less than ideal, the woman was the kind of mother he'd have liked.

Breaking away from his aunt after a long moment, Lag scrubbed at his eyes. With a few more goodbyes and promises to talk and send letters, the boy climbed into Gauche's truck. It started with a sputtering gasp and puttered away slowly. As the familiar streets rolled by as a slow pace, a bubble began to inflate in the boy's chest.

It would be four months until Lag saw the inside of Camebl Litus's ancient stone walls again. They hadn't even left the town and already Lag wanted to jump out and rush home.

Gauche sat silently as the boy began to weep quietly, chewing his lip. He steered the old truck through the narrow lanes and up the familiar old exit. They passed under the great shadows of tired oak trees, the leaves shading them from the harsh August sunlight.

When Lag became unable to breathe through his stuffed nose, Gauche nudged a box of tissues towards him. Mumbling a watery "thank you", the boy took the proffered tissues gratefully and mopped up the mess that was his face right then.

They stayed that way for a long time, silent as the truck swayed. The old roads were only recently fixed and the same potholes seemed to remain regardless. Even though he could drive this road with his eyes closed, Gauche thought it would be best to remain vigilant.

Around noon, they came to a familiar old gas station. It was as empty as ever, the ever present smell of fried food wafting from the half open dirty glass windows. As Gauche steered the truck up to a pump, he glanced to Lag.

"Are you hungry?"

Blinking, a warmth filled the boy's chest. "Yeah."

000

Lags bag is lightly packed with sweaters, cardigans and pants. As he goes over the list he'd made up a few days ago, the boy wonders if he's missed anything crucial. There's his toothbrush, his homework for winter break. Everything is there, he's certain.

A pair of warm arms pull him to a sturdy chest, a chin settling into his mussed hair. "You look nervous."

Lag blinks, cheeks growing warm. "A bit."

Gauche hums in understanding, knowing that its only natural for his loved one to be anxious. Its been almost six months since summer break and even when Sabrina braved the train system to visit him for his birthday, going home must be nerve rattling.

"You don't have to tell her, if you aren't ready." Gauche murmurs.

Tensing under the man's arms, Lag mumbled, "I cant lie to her."

"I'm not saying to." Gauche said, nuzzling his head.

Lag wanted to point out that not saying anything was as bad as lying, especially when his aunt had placed so much trust in him. But he knew what Gauche meant. Sighing, the boy turned to face him, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "We need to finish packing."

"Already done."

Blinking, Lag turned and noticed the suitcase by the door. Well, it made sense to see only one, he supposed. Gauche wouldn't be staying long, while Lag was home for the break. The sight sent a jolt of nausea through him.

"I wish you could stay longer..." Lag mumbled.

Gauche offered a small smile, ruffling his hair. "I cant leave Sylvette. And then there's work..."

"I know, but still..."

Pulling the sulking teenager into an embrace, he sighed. "It'll go by faster than you'd think."

Part of Lag hoped that was the case. As much as he missed his aunt, the thought of being away from Gauche was unpleasant. Those nagging whispers that it'd result in another year of missing him were ever present, even when Lag knew it wasn't healthy to cling so hard.

"Maybe..."

000

How long had it been since he'd last been home? Lag wondered as Gauche's rickety truck slowed to a stop in front of the well loved house. Between them, Sylvette blew into her hands and rubbed them together.

"I cant wait to see your aunt, Lag!" she said, laughing with a delighted smile.

The boy – more of a teenager now, right? Even being sixteen, he felt so small – smiled warmly, nodding. "She always asks about you. She says she has a new recipe for you."

An amused smile tugged at Gauche's lips as he shifted the truck into park, opening his door with a creak and hopping out. Lag followed suit, opening the door and slipping out with a crunch into the snow. Huffing, he wondered why Cambel was getting hit so bad the last few years. Being in the south, it wasn't really the norm.

As Gauche collected his sister from the cab and deposited her into her wheelchair, Lag unloaded their bags. By the time he'd gotten the last bag out, Sabrina was at the door and ushering in the siblings with a broad smile.

Sylvette was like the daughter his aunt hadn't been blessed with. Sabrina always had such a warm smile when she saw the girl or even talked about her, such a contrast to the stiff smile she offered Gauche.

"You look so thin! What are you being fed at that school?" the woman fussed as Lag tugged off the worn coat Gauche had given him a few months prior.

Laughing a bit, he said, "Lots of sandwiches and soup."

"Sylvette's been determined to feed him better meals than the school would give." Gauche chimed in, helping the girl shuck off her thick coat.

"Well," the woman began, "I'm glad that she's there to take care of him."

A dull ache of guilt stabbed at Lag as he fumbled with his laces. "Sylvette and Gauche have been very good to me." he said, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips.

Gauche's cheeks warmed as he hung up the coats, the color bright and obvious against his pale skin. Sabrina raised an eyebrow, but chose not to voice whatever she was thinking. Lag was relieved. He didn't think he could handle that right now.

The group shuffled towards the living room, taking up spots in the sofa. Once everyones hands were filled with mugs of hot cocoa, Sabrina began to inquire about the last few months of Sylvette and Lag's lives. School, Sylvette's doll business and Lag's role in delivering those around the town. Once, briefly, Sabrina inquired about Gauche and his job, but even Lag could tell that the woman still hadn't completely gotten comfortable talking to him.

At least they could sit in the same room again.

000

By some miracle, they made it through dinner before Lag couldn't take it anymore. As Gauche carried his sister up the stairs to the guest room, Lag swallowed hard and approached his aunt. She had her back to him, arms submerged in the sink as she scrubbed a dish. Many a time as a child, Lag remembered this exact scene. Usually it was something silly, like coming home with a bad grade on a test or a ripped shirt from playing too roughly.

This was a bit more serious, though, he mused.

"What did you need to talk about?" came Sabrina's comforting voice.

Starting, Lag kicked himself for forgetting how many times this exact scene really had happened. Swallowing hard, the boy took a slow breath. "I...I wanted to talk to you. About...when I was thirteen."

All at once, the soothing white noise of clinking dishes and sloshing water halted. He could see the woman's shoulders draw up. "I see. What about it?"

It took a long moment for Lag to summon the courage to speak. Heart hammering in his chest, he suppressed the nausea building in his stomach. "I...I've decided to restart things, w-with Gauche."

Sabrina was silent for a moment, before turning with a quiet sigh. Drying her hands on her apron, the woman regarded him with a serious expression. "Have you thought about it?"

Lag nodded firmly. "I have. A-And we both agreed to take things slowly."

It felt as if she was looking through the boy. He felt like he was seven and trying to tell a fib to her. At last, something turned the impassive gaze soft, and Sabrina sighed again. "Well, as long as you know what you're doing."

A jolt raced up Lag. "A-Aunty...?"

Walking to the boy, she ruffled his unruly hair gently. "I'll be here, even if things don't go well."

Blinking fast, Lag sucked in a sharp breath. "T-Thank you..." he breathed.

"Hey, you're sixteen now, none of that." Sabrina chided, laughing a bit as she gathered him up in a tight hug. She didn't need to be told or asked to comfort the boy.

Burying his face in her shoulder, Lag couldn't stop the broad smile from forming on his face. Even with the ever present doubt, of course she'd come through. Sabrina always had, even if it took a while sometimes.

Pulling away, Sabrina offered him a suspicious look. "You weren't telling me this so you could have a sleep over, were you?"

Lag's face turned beet red. Shaking his head fast, he sputtered, "O-Of course not!"

Laughing boisterously, Sabrina shook her head and ruffled his hair again. She didn't offer a reply as she moved to go back to the dishes. Blinking owlishly, the boy huffed and mumbled, "That was mean, aunty..."

"Sorry." she said, but it was clear that she didn't mean it.

000

Chatter drifted from the kitchen, a soothing white noise. An arm drew Lag closer and he melted into the embrace. It felt good to be able to just relax in Gauche's arms, in front of a fireplace with a plate of gingerbread cookies and a mug of cocoa. Outside, the snow fell lazily, like strings of popcorn or fairylights.

How long had it been since he could feel this comfortable at home?

Gauche rested his head in the teen's downy hair, humming softly. "Its good to see them getting along so well."

"Aunty adores Sylvette." Lag said, nuzzling under the man's chin.

There was an unspoken wish for the woman to feel that way for Gauche as well, and Lag wasn't sure which of them wished for it the most. But just the fact that they could sit like this, warm and close, was a huge step towards that.

Over the last few days, Sabrina had been surprisingly kind towards Gauche. The tension was still there, but she was making a bigger effort than before. Lag liked to think it was because she wanted to be friendly with her nephews lover, but more likely she just wanted to be supportive.

Either way, Lag was relieved. Smiling against the cookie he was nibbling on, the teen closed his eyes. It couldn't get better than this, could it? He wondered, chest filling with butterflies.

After all of the heart ache, the whirlwind of emotions and tragedies, it felt so good to just be at peace with Gauche. Like a dream that finally came true, after such a long nightmare.

0000000000

i'm gonna miss this one the most...such a fond memory, I really loved this fic the best. But all good things end I guess...


End file.
